Ambrose's Antidote: BATTLE

BATTLE, n. A method of untying with the teeth of a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.

daily dose of w

The fact that he relies on facts -- says things that are not factual -- are going to undermine his campaign.

GWB
4 Mar 2000
Referring to Al Gore. Quoted in the New York Times.

Ambrose's Antidote: BATH

BATH, n. A kind of mystic ceremony substituted for religious worship, with what spiritual efficacy has not been determined.

  The man who taketh a steam bath
  He loseth all the skin he hath,
  And, for he's boiled a brilliant red,
  Thinketh to cleanliness he's wed,
  Forgetting that his lungs he's soiling
  With dirty vapors of the boiling.

Richard Gwow

daily dose of w

I think we ought to have high -- high standards and set by -- by agencies that rely upon science, not by what may feel good or what sound good.

GWB
15 Jan 2000
From Republican Debate in Des Moines, Iowa.

Ambrose's Antidote: BASTINADO

BASTINADO, n. The act of walking on wood without exertion.

daily dose of w

Kosovians can move back in.

GWB
9 Apr 1999
Referring to the situation in Kosovo. CNN's Inside Politics.

Ambrose's Antidote: BASILISK

BASILISK, n. The cockatrice. A sort of serpent hatched form the egg of a cock. The basilisk had a bad eye, and its glance was fatal. Many infidels deny this creature's existence, but Semprello Aurator saw and handled one that had been blinded by lightning as a punishment for having fatally gazed on a lady of rank whom Jupiter loved. Juno afterward restored the reptile's sight and hid it in a cave. Nothing is so well attested by the ancients as the existence of the basilisk, but the cocks have stopped laying.

daily dose of w

I knew it might put him in an awkward position that we had a discussion before finality has finally happened in this presidential race.

GWB
2 Dec 2000
Referring to a phone conversation with Louisiana Democratic Senator, John Breaux.

Ambrose's Antidote: BARRACK

BARRACK, n. A house in which soldiers enjoy a portion of that of which it is their business to deprive others.

daily dose of w

But as a result of evil, there's some amazing things that are taking place in America.

GWB
Daytona Beach, Florida.

Ambrose's Antidote: BAROMETER

BAROMETER, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

Editor's note: now we have the weather channel and weather.com.

daily dose of w

The senate needs to leave enough money in the proposed budget to not only reduce all marginal rates, but to eliminate the death tax, so that people who build up assets are able to transfer them from one generation to the next, regardless of a person's race.

GWB
5 Apr 2001
Washington, D.C.

Ambrose's Antidote: BAPTISM

BAPTISM, n. A sacred rite of such efficacy that he who finds himself in heaven without having undergone it will be unhappy forever. It is performed with water in two ways -- by immersion, or plunging, and by aspersion, or sprinkling.

  But whether the plan of immersion
  Is better than simple aspersion
      Let those immersed
      And those aspersed
  Decide by the Authorized Version,
  And by matching their agues tertian.

G.J.

daily dose of w

As I said in my State of the Union address, liberty is not America's gift to the world. Liberty is God's gift to human -- to the human -- mankind.

GWB
26 Feb 2003
Washington, D.C.

Ambrose's Antidote: BAIT

BAIT, n. A preparation that renders the hook more palatable. The best kind is beauty.

daily dose of w

I don't remember debates. I don't think we spent a lot of time debating it. Maybe we did, but I don't remember.

GWB
27 Jul 1999
Referring to whether he had discussions about the Vietnam War while an undergraduate at Yale University. Reported by the Washington Post.

Enjoy your tax cut!

Ahh... tax cuts! That's the way to stimulate the economy, eh? Uh, no. If I had 70 large. No, larger. No, larger. No... really fucking large! 70 billion dollars year in and year out, what would I do? Dunno. I'd consider funding college scholarships. With 70 really fucking large, I could provide a $20000 fellowship for college. Let vets be first in line, followed by those in need, then by those with an affection for physics (fuck yes, I'm prejudiced), then whoever wants one. Twenty grand into 70 fucking large is 3.5 million.

Yup.

70000 fully-funded students for each state in the union.

What kind of effect would *that* have on the economy?

Paris Hilton gets a break on her capital gains for investments in debt v. financial barrier to college eliminated for 3.5 million students every year? Nothing against Paris or investing in debt, but really.

Ambrose's Antidote: BACKBITE

BACKBITE, v.t. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.

daily dose of w

This campaign not only hears the voices of the entrepreneurs and the farmers and the entrepreneurs, we hear the voices of those struggling to get ahead.

GWB
21 Aug 2000
From campaign stop in Des Moines, Iowa.

We call them "messicans". And we can employ them without paying taxes or otherwise shouldering the burdens of American society. This captures the essence of the Rovian "conservative" movement. Oh, yeah, and hating gay folks and poor women, especially if they're pregnant.

Ambrose's Antidote: BACK

BACK, n. That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity.

daily dose of w

I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things.

GWB
4 Jun 2003
Aboard Air Force One

Ambrose's Antidote: BACCHUS

BACCHUS, n. A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

  Is public worship, then, a sin,
      That for devotions paid to Bacchus
  The lictors dare to run us in,
      And resolutely thump and whack us?

Jorace

daily dose of w

She is a member of a labor union at one point.

GWB
2 Jan 2001
The president-elect, announcing Linda Chavez as his nomination to be secretary of the Department of Labor.

Ambrose's Antidote: BABE/BABY

BABE or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable for the violence of the sympathies and antipathies it excites in others, itself without sentiment or emotion. There have been famous babes; for example, little Moses, from whose adventure in the bulrushes the Egyptian hierophants of seven centuries before doubtless derived their idle tale of the child Osiris being preserved on a floating lotus leaf.

          Ere babes were invented
          The girls were contended.
          Now man is tormented
  Until to buy babes he has squandered
  His money.  And so I have pondered
          This thing, and thought may be
          'T were better that Baby
  The First had been eagled or condored.

Ro Amil

Ambrose wouldn't have passed the hold the baby test, methinks.

daily dose of w

Put the off button on.

GWB
14 Feb 2000
Advice to parents who have concerns about violence on television.

Moni Basu: 2005 APC Journalist of the Year

From the Atlanta Press Club press release:

Moni Basu was named the overall 2005 Journalist of the Year, an honor accompanied by a $1000 prize.
Moni Basu was honored for her coverage of the 48th infantry brigade. She trained with the 48th at Fort Irwin in California in April and went to Iraq twice in 2005. Basu has made five trips to Iraq, totaling seven and a half months on the ground since 2002, serving as an embedded reporter on the last three.

Congratulations, Moni! This went down on the 6th. I don't know how I missed it...

Ambrose's Antidote: BAAL

BAAL, n. An old deity formerly much worshiped under various names. As Baal he was popular with the Phoenicians; as Belus or Bel he had the honor to be served by the priest Berosus, who wrote the famous account of the Deluge; as Babel he had a tower partly erected to his glory on the Plain of Shinar. From Babel comes our English word "babble." Under whatever name worshiped, Baal is the Sun-god. As Beelzebub he is the god of flies, which are begotten of the sun's rays on the stagnant water. In Physicia Baal is still worshiped as Bolus, and as Belly he is adored and served with abundant sacrifice by the priests of Guttledom.

daily dose of w

If a person doesn't have the capacity that we all want that person to have, I suspect hope is in the far distant future, if at all.

GWB
22 May 2001
From speech delivered to the Hispanic Scholarship Fund Institute.
Washington D.C.

William Rivers Pitt v Richard Cohen

WPR. No contest.

Note to Self: Reduce Reuse Recycle

All you gotta do is whip up a schema, and you're done, right? Uh, no. Good analysis from Tim Bray.

Ambrose's Antidote: AVERNUS

AVERNUS, n. The lake by which the ancients entered the infernal regions. The fact that access to the infernal regions was obtained by a lake is believed by the learned Marcus Ansello Scrutator to have suggested the Christian rite of baptism by immersion. This, however, has been shown by Lactantius to be an error.

  _Facilis descensus Averni,_
      The poet remarks; and the sense
  Of it is that when down-hill I turn I
      Will get more of punches than pence.

Jehal Dai Lupe

daily dose of w

Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines as we used to know it.

GWB
17 Oct 2000
Comments from St. Louis, Missouri Presidential Debate.

Al, Al, Al... slow pitches over the plate. Get some juice, man!

Guardian Wins A Webby

The Guardian wins a Webby for best online paper. Couldn't happen to a finer web-paper, IMHO. I love the link to the Style Guide on the homepage.

Ambrose's Antidote: AUSTRALIA

AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.

daily dose of w

If you're asking me whether or not as to the innocence or guilt or if people have had adequate access to the courts in Texas, I believe they have.

GWB
10 Jun 2000
Answer to question posed by an Associated Press reporter.

Book Armor

What? Well, let's start with the KINGFELIX Irrationale:

KINGFELIX is an outwardly random sequence. The protagonist operates beneath the surface of reason, the psychic paddle steamer dredging material from the river bottom. If the culture has thrown it away, I will locate it.

OK, need more? Yes, you do! Loaded with book reviews, film reviews, and skinheads getting their asses handed to them, get thee to Book Armor straight away!

Ambrose's Antidote: AUCTIONEER

AUCTIONEER, n. The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

daily dose of w

I am mindful of the difference between the executive branch and the legislative branch. I assured all four of these leaders that I know the difference.

GWB
18 Dec 2000
Washington, D.C. Reported by Slate magazine.

Ambrose's Antidote: ASS

ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear. In Virginia City, Nevada, he is called the Washoe Canary, in Dakota, the Senator, and everywhere the Donkey. The animal is widely and variously celebrated in the literature, art and religion of every age and country; no other so engages and fires the human imagination as this noble vertebrate. Indeed, it is doubted by some (Ramasilus, _lib. II., De Clem._, and C. Stantatus, _De Temperamente_) if it is not a god; and as such we know it was worshiped by the Etruscans, and, if we may believe Macrobious, by the Cupasians also. Of the only two animals admitted into the Mahometan Paradise along with the souls of men, the ass that carried Balaam is one, the dog of the Seven Sleepers the other. This is no small distinction. From what has been written about this beast might be compiled a library of great splendor and magnitude, rivalling that of the Shakespearean cult, and that which clusters about the Bible. It may be said, generally, that all literature is more or less Asinine.

  "Hail, holy Ass!" the quiring angels sing;
  "Priest of Unreason, and of Discords King!"
  Great co-Creator, let Thy glory shine:
  God made all else, the Mule, the Mule is thine!"

G.J.

daily dose of w

The senator [John McCain] has got to understand if he's going to have -- he can't have it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road.

GWB
17 Feb 2000
From campaign speech in Florence, South Carolina.

PS: His wife is a drug addict and he worships the devil.

Ambrose's Antidote: ASPERSE

ASPERSE, v.t. Maliciously to ascribe to another vicious actions which one has not had the temptation and opportunity to commit.

daily dose of w

A reformer with results is a conservative who has had compassionate results in the state of Texas.

GWB
10 Feb 2000
Quoted by the New York Times.

Ambrose's Antidote: ART

ART, n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related as
follows by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape, S.J.

  One day a wag -- what would the wretch be at? --
  Shifted a letter of the cipher RAT,
  And said it was a god's name!  Straight arose
  Fantastic priests and postulants (with shows,
  And mysteries, and mummeries, and hymns,
  And disputations dire that lamed their limbs)
  To serve his temple and maintain the fires,
  Expound the law, manipulate the wires.
  Amazed, the populace that rites attend,
  Believe whate'er they cannot comprehend,
  And, inly edified to learn that two
  Half-hairs joined so and so (as Art can do)
  Have sweeter values and a grace more fit
  Than Nature's hairs that never have been split,
  Bring cates and wines for sacrificial feasts,
  And sell their garments to support the priests.

daily dose of w

I hope we get to the bottom of the answer. It's what I'm interested to know.

GWB
26 Apr 2000
The presidential candidate is referring to the Elian Gonzalez negotiations.

Ambrose's Antidote: ARSENIC

ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn.

  "Eat arsenic?  Yes, all you get,"
      Consenting, he did speak up;
  "'Tis better you should eat it, pet,
      Than put it in my teacup."

Joel Huck

daily dose of w

The administration I'll bring is a group of men and women who are focused on what's best for America -- honest men and women, decent men and women, women who will see service to our country as a great privilege and who will not stain the house.

GWB
15 Jan 2000
Spoken during the Republican debate in Des Moines, Iowa.