Bloodrider Leeroy Jenkins led the Dothraki at the Battle of Winterfell

Why did the Dothraki charge into the night with their "murder candles"[1] and crash into an unknown mass of wights and White Walkers out in the "zombie forest"[2], rather, say, than stick to the plan? Bet you didn't know that the top Bloodrider in the Khalasar is Leeroy Jenkins and he led the charge. Makes sense, now. WARNING: video is extremely geeky World of Warcraft gamer humor.
[1] Trae Crowder, Trae Crowder
[2] Trae Crowder, Trae Crowder
PS: To be absolutely clear, I did not make up Dothraki, murder candles, wights, White Walkers, zombie forests, Bloodriders, Khalasar, Leeroy Jenkins, World of Warcraft, humor, the Internet (thanks, Al!), or gaming.

How not to stick the landing in the final episode of Game of Thrones

It's pretty obvious that I love Game of Thrones, but it's not unqualified. It's kinda like the time your four year old got ahold of that flame thrower and burned the house down, scorched the cat, and blew up the Honda Odyssey. Of course, you still love him (because you know is a him), but you're still a little cranked about the carnage and destruction.

Who are they going to drop a building on next?

Like having to bury deep-fried Mittens the Kitten, you just don't get over having the series big bad numero uno Cersei I will f you the f up Lannister go out by having a building dropped on her. Well, at least, I can't. Gruntle. What could possibly go wrong?

Daenerys

It's up to Jon to take Daenerys out, and the question is how is he going to do it? The "right" way, IMO, is, after the defeat of her dragon and troops, for Jon to condemn her to death and chop her head off with Longclaw. The wrong way is for Jon to die with his aunt and lover by whatever means they cook up to kill them off. It was OK for Jaime and Cersei to go out together, but not reconciled and not by having a damn building fall on them. It will not be OK for Jon to take himself out taking out Daenerys.

Drogon

Now, it would be appropriate to have Drogon and Daenerys go out together, but it would be a little weird to have Jon Snow play Bard the Bowman with some Night King spearhead-material tipped arrow, since we've never seen him shoot a bow or have any archery competence implied as with Arya (first episode shooting bullseye, getting tips from Anguy from the Brotherhood Without Banners, etc.) and with Theon Greyjoy (shooting down Frey ravens, defending Bran from the Army of the Dead, etc.). Maybe — maybe — shooting Drogon with a Scorpion could work, but how they come up with the Scorpion will really matter. If it's part of an Avengers! Assemble! deal where Gendry makes the Scorpion, Sansa is the bait, and Jon fires the killing shot, OK. Oh! Look what I found! A Scorpion! isn't going to cut it, but it's quick and easy, so look out.

Sansa and the folks in Winterfell

Jon and Daenerys (and Drogon) — the key players — are in King's Landing, but Sansa, Samwell Tarley, et al., are a thousand miles away and more in Winterfell. It's one thing to just let Tormund and Ghost fade into the distant north, even if ultimately unsatisfying, but it would be something else to just have Sansa happily ever after rule Winterfell. They did a very good job of bringing all the characters together in Winterfell at the beginning of the season, but now they're spread out and we've got just eighty minutes to go.

Bronn and Tyrion

While it wasn't out of character for Bronn to try to get a better deal than he had from Cersei with Jaime and Tyrion, it did seem out of character for him to be so cold and humorless. He's spent some serious time with both Jaime and Tyrion. Wit and humor in the negotiation would have been far better than ruthlessness, but so it was written. Fortunately, this should be an easy one to wrap, presuming that Tyrion survives — just do the Bronn and Tyrion thing.

Scatman Crothers The Shining Deaths

The Shining was a really great book, and it was a pretty solid movie, too. But unlike the book, the movie made a WTF unforced error by killing off Scatman Crothers (Hallorann) just as he rolls up to the hotel. Um… what's the point of the whole Hallorann character, setting up the psychic vibe, and all of that screen time, etc., just to have him immediately whacked on arrival? Is Sansa going to send a raven to Yara Greyjoy to come help, just to have her fleet burned by Drogon just so we can up the body count? I'm sure there is going to be a big temptation to run the body count up to tear at heart strings, but just doing it to do it would be a waste of last precious moments.

Arya goes Frontal

I really think that Benioff and Weiss want to whack Arya because there is probably no other character more beloved, and breakin' hearts is what they do. OK, fine, but don't take her out of character to do it. While she probably could hold her own against a few Unsullied, the scene better not be her fighting her way through some number of Unsullied to ultimately face Grey Worm, who after a pitched battle kills her. Or, she pulls a Jaime Lannister and charges Daenerys on Drogon only to get torched. The fate of the TV may depend on how they choose to dispose of Arya Stark. I might have someone bind my hands, or better, hobble my feet (need hands to drink wine) until after the Arya death scene so I don't chuck the TV out the window.

Overheard how Game of Thrones ends from Sophie Turner at the Flora-Bama

Despite my best efforts to avoid spoilers, I overheard Sophie Turner talking to Masie Williams at the Flora-Bama talking about the final episode of Game of Thrones, and I tell you, I'm not happy. If you haven't heard, Sophie Turner is going to play Dark Phoenix in the upcoming movie Dark Phoenix. In order to curry favor with the juggernaut that is Marvel, Benioff and Weiss agreed to do a cross-over. Here's what happens: Thanos adopts Sansa Stark and renames her Jean Grey and zaps her with cosmic rays and turns her into Dark Phoenix. Rather than wait to collect all of the Infinity Stones before cutting the population of The World in half, Thanos conjures a giant moon-sized building and drops it on Westeros, killing everyone on the continent.
SMDH.

How to get rid of a Dragon

One of the most obvious "problems" that needs resolution in this last episode of Game of Thrones is the dispostion of a giantic black dragon named Drogon. I think there are only three real contingencies:

• serves as Daenerys's muscle in her reign of terror
• gets killed
• gets exiled

I suppose that "becomes King Jon's/Aegon's dragon" is theoretically possible, that seems to be a stretch, but the writers have pulled a few stunts to get themselves out of some tight quarters as the series winds down, so anything is possible. However, in this case, they really don't need to.

Daenerys's terror muscle

If Daenerys wins the Game of Thrones, then she'll need Drogon to keep the people in line. After all, she torched half of King's Landing or more killing Lannister soldiers and innocent men, women, children, dogs, cats, chickens, and horses alike. A very different "liberation" than smuggling weapons in to slaves so they could do a DIY revolution with the backing of her Unsullied. Whatever respect and gratitude she might have accrued fighting the Army of the Dead means nothing in King's Landing and with the Lannisters. There is no way this show ends with Daenerys on the Iron Throne, which means one of two things for her and for Drogon: death or exile.

Death

How in the Seven Heavens do you kill Drogon? Build a Scorpion, I suppose, but that seems like that's a little too pat. Maybe if it somehow ties in Gendry, who despite being a prince takes to the forge once again, although there must be some surviving smiths who built the many Scorpions that Drogon exploded with dragon fire. It would be plausible to set a trap where Daenerys is going to accept the surrender of King's Landing (she'll want to do it where everybody can see Drogon, not that they haven't had all they could possibly want to see already), and they pop him, and Jon condemns Daenerys do die and chops her head off with Longclaw. Actually, that wouldn't be too bad a way to do it, come to think of it. You have Grey Worm and the Unsullied and the Dothraki to deal with, but some variation like that might work. I don't think they'll go down that route, though.

Poison or Blood Magic or other some such

Samwell Tarley is the last Maester-ish character still alive, and holed up in Winterfell. Yes, there is that jackass at the Citadel, but he doesn't count. We haven't seen his sorry ass since season 6. I don't think that Daenerys and crew are going to go back to Winterfell, so if Jon needs Sam's help in figuring out some way to poison Drogon or throw black magic voodoo on him, they'll have to communicate via ravens. I suppose Sam could send the recipe to Jon via raven, and Tyrion gets the pyromancer to mix it up, and then they feed Drogon a poisoned cow or whatever. But, I don't think so.

Bran wargs Drogon

Last we saw, Bran was in Winterfell, so it would have been more plausible to warg Drogon up there, and I don't think that Drogon's coming back. Still, he's the Three Eyed Raven and might be able to warg Drogon from a distance. Then he could make him stand still while Jon or Arya or someone stabs him through the eye or makes him drown himself or fly himself to death. I was hoping to see Bran warg a dragon at some point, but with the logistics as they are, I don't see it happening.

Arya goes out like The Hound

If Arya kills Drogon, I think she goes down fighting. How does she kill Drogon? I don't know — maybe Gendry makes here a Valyrian steel spear or Valyrian steel tipped arrows? Drogon is the only big bad that's left in Arya's league, unless you want to count the Unsullied or what's left of the Dothraki horde, but that's too big a shark to jump. Sam coming up with a dragon soft-spot and Arya putting ordinance on target wouldn't be too outrageous. It would invoke Bard the Bowman taking out Smaug in The Hobbit. For all the screen time Arya has got shooting bows, I don't think she's shot a single person. What the hell was all that archery screen time for? If she goes the Bard the Bowman route, she wouldn't have to die. It might even work if Sam sends a raven telling Jon what the material it was on the Night King's spear that was so deadly to Viserion and they make a spear or arrows out of that. Either way, they could have a little drama, missed shots, carnage, and make it work.

Death by a thousand Cuts

We've seen that dragons in Game of Thrones are very tough, but they aren't invincible. When Drogon came back to save Daenerys as she was being attacked by the Sons of the Harpy in Meereen, he was severely wounded by spears, and the dragons seemed to suffer injuries at the hands of the wights at in the battle with the Army of the Dead at Winterfell. If they can keep him on the ground somehow (trap? trick Daenerys in chaining him up?), it's feasible that they just overwhelm him with spears and arrows and whatever else they can throw at him. Or, they could just drop a building on him and bury him in rubble because that's the uber cool way to take out a major big bad character in the most epic series in the history of TV. SMDH.

Exile

If you can't kill the dragon, can you get him to go away? Now, I don't think he can roam the hills and dales of Westeros. I mean, I think the logistics work, as he was roaming the hills and dales of Essos and while he ate his share of sheep and the occasional shepherd, he wasn't an existential threat to civilization. It wouldn't work from the storytelling perspective. What are we going to do with this dragon? Meh, just let him run around. Yeah, no.

Follow Daenerys into Exile

It's possible that some combination of combat, political maneuvering, heavy application of guilt trip, etc., that Daenerys could get convinced she needs to go back to Essos. It's not all that out of the question if they can show her that the locals hate her, the place she's conquered is ashes and rubble and not anywhere nice as her dominions in Essos where many folks do love her, and what is her obligation to the Unsullied and Dothraki? The Dothraki taking their spoils will not endear her to the locals any more than her burning people with Drogon did. Maybe we'll see that there is a managable number of Dothraki that Westerosi armies could finish them off, but one way or another they need to be dealt with. What they'd like the best would be to go back to the Great Grass Sea. It's not likely, but there might be a way to dispose of them without mayhem and slaughter. What am I saying? It's almost certainly mayhem and slaughter.

Jon Snow flies Drogon to Old Valyria

Jon can fly dragons, but it remains to be seen if he can fly Drogon. Maybe he can. One way to be rid of him would be to fly him over to the ruins of Old Valyria and let him roam free where the worst he'd do is toast the occasional Stone Man. It might get him out of king duties, which he would like.

Arya flies Drogon to Old Valyria as Daenerys

We haven't seen the face trick in a while, and there's only one episode to go. What if Arya took Daenerys's face? If she can fool Drogon — and I really can't think of any reason that she shouldn't — maybe she can fly Drogon to Essos, maybe with the Dothraki in tow, and maybe the Unsullied, too? It wouldn't have to be a one-way trip, but it could be. She could either go back to Braavos, maybe to become First Sword, or she could get ferried back by whoever shipped the Dothraki back (probably Yara Greyjoy). Arya going to Braavos in pursuit of First Sword status is the very best possible ending for her, so I know they won't think of it. Still, how cool would that be?

Trae Crowder's GoTdam Season 8 recaps collected for your viewing pleasure

Fricking hilarious genius is an accurate description of Trae Crowder and his GoTdam Season 8 episode recaps are as erudite as they are funny. For whatever reason, my view on YouTube doesn't serve them up right, so I've collected 1 through 5 here to help you get caught up on all the action and for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!
Episode 1:

Episode 2:

Episode 3:

Episode 4:

Episode 5:

The Game of Thrones Ending the Ghosts of Ned and Robert would Cook-up

What does the future hold for Westeros? With only one episode left — just eighty minutes! — they've got a lot to wrap up. Since there is so little time left, I think we can safely say that Cersei died under that pile of rubble along with Jaime, and taking her out leaves only one megalomaniac left: Daenerys backed up by Drogon. Who are left who have a more-or-less conventional claim to the throne:

• Daenerys
• Jon Snow/Aegon Targaryen
• Gendry Baratheon

Anyone else would have to take the throne by right of conquest, but they don't seem to have anyone queued to do that. This doesn't mean there won't be a big battle, just that the squabbling will be done by those with a claim.

Something that was not entirely clear in the last episode is whether or not Varys got the word out about Jon's true identity. Obviously some people know — Jon, Samwell Tarley, Bran the Three Eyed Raven, Sansa and Arya Stark — but that group is small enough and well-aligned enough that they could keep it a secret. Why would they want to do that? Given that you can take out Daenerys and Drogon — and they are getting taken out — how would, say the ghosts of Robert Baratheon and Ned Stark set up what would in their mind be the best arrangement for Westeros?

King Gendry Baratheon, First of his Name

Do the people of King's Landing really want a Targaryen sitting on the throne after a Targaryen burnt the city to the ground, killing who knows how many defenseless men, women, and children? Or, would they like to put the handsome son of jolly old King Robert on the throne and relive some days of peace, if not prosperity. But what the hell does Gendry know about being king? Nothing, but what the hell did Tommen or Joffrey or Robert for that matter know about being king when they ascended the throne? That doesn't matter, especially if you have good advisers. By my reckoning, there is exactly one adviser still alive who was both loyal and more or less clear-eyed and right in the counsel he provided: Ser Davos Seaworth, Hand of the King to Stannis Baratheon.

Ser Davos Seaworth, Hand of the King

Ser Davos is the obvious pick here. He's already put his neck on the line for Gendry by setting him free and his loyalty to Stannis might easily translate into loyalty to House Baratheon. Ser Davos was always adamant about the legitimacy of his claim, and Gendry has been given the Baratheon name is the rightful heir as Robert's only surviving son.

Queen Sansa Baratheon

By my reckoning, there are only three candidates still alive for consideration to marry to Gendry: Arya, Sansa, and Yara Greyjoy. I don't know if all of that Arya-in-the-mayhem in episode 5 was to set up some epiphany that she needs to woman up and do her duty to family and country and marry a lord (or king), but I don't think so. Yara, while a great character on GoT would be a strategic blunder, since now that the Iron Fleet is destroyed, the Iron Islands aren't worth anything to the realm. So, that leaves Sansa, and with the story back where it started to go, joining houses Baratheon and Stark by marrying Sansa to a future Baratheon king.

Lord Jon Stark, Warden of the North

There must always be a Stark in Winterfell, and the way to do that is to have King Gendry grant Jon the Stark name and make him Warden in the North. Although there would be some bad blood with some of the Northmen about his renouncing his title of King in the North, its plausible that having Daenerys's troops and dragons was somehow decisive in the battle against the Night King and the Army of the Dead. Recall, that the only living people who actually saw what happend was Bran and Arya. It would be satisfying to see Jon rebuilding Winterfell and the North, with Ghost by his side.

Jon Snow, Freefolk

As an alternative, after killing Daenerys and possibly Drogon, I could see Jon saying "enough!" and head north to hang with Tormund and Ghost. That would be equally, or perhaps more satisfying than seeing him back at Winterfell.

Samwell Tarley, "Maester" of Winterfell

It's conceivable that they could restore House Tarley, but why? Just because he's Jon's friend? I don't think so. It's more likely that he stays on at Winterfell as its "Maester" in quotes because of the whole Gilly dynamic. I could see Jon letting Sam fill the Master role, but marry Gilly and give little same the Tarley name.

Samwell Tarley, Freefolk

Alternatively, Sam, Gilly, and little Sam could head north to live with the Freefolk, but if they were going to do that, they could have gone with Tormund and Ghost. Still, if Jon decides to go, you could see Sam deciding to go with him.

Ser Brienne of Tarth, Lord Commander of the Kingsguard (Queensguard)

If there is a Queen Sansa, then I put my money on there being a Lord Commander Brienne. How couldn't there be? The whole Jaime going back to Cersei was a storytelling disaster, IMO, but the psycho-emotional damage to Brienne's character is done, what better place for her than back in the Kingsguard where the rules are simple and she has no one to bother her?

Lord Tyrion Lannister, Warden of the West

We can only hope that Tyrion does something smart, clever, or useful in the series finale, but even if he doesn't, I think he winds up back at Casterly Rock. There is an off chance that he and Sansa are still married or will get remarried, but I think this unlikely. That doesn't mean it wouldn't make sense, because the rift between House Lannister and House Stark is much wider than anything between Stark and Baratheon. Closing that rift would go a long way in healing Westeros.

Arya Stark, Winterfell Crypt Statue

There is, of course, a chance that Arya Stark may survive the series. She may have some sort of epiphany while running around or getting trampled the mayhem of the destruction of King's Landing for a seeming third of episode 5 and will deign to have herself married off to Gendry or Tyrion, but I don't think that's likely — she's been pretty adamant about what she is or isn't. I think she's going to go out like The Hound, taking the big bad with her.

Arya Stark, Daenerys Targaryen

The dragon in the rubble is, of course, Drogon. With Daenerys taken out, they can't have a dragon flying free in Westeros. How in the Sam Hill are they going to take him out? It would be pretty lame for them to come across a Scorpion that just happened to be lying around, although I supposed they could build another one at some point, but what if it's Arya's fate to take Daenerys's face to fake out Drogon and then to fly him to exhaustion over the ocean or to Old Valyria? It would be a cool last scene to see Arya somewhere in Essos where someone recognizes her as Khaleesi and she removes the face and says, "that's not me, I'm Arya Stark!" after having deposited Drogon in Old Valyria. Maybe with Yara Greyjoy coming to pick her up in the background. That's how I'd do it!

S8E3 The Long Night

The Long Night was an excellent and satisfying third episode in this eighth season. It was not, however, perfect, but spectacle and emotion carried a few eye rollers away from TV chucking WTF frustration. We'll go into some of those. If you haven't seen the episode, and you don't like spoilers, don't read this until after you watch.

Game of Thrones loves its tropes

It does seem that Game of Thrones gotta Game of Throne — they have been hammering their tropes pretty consistently and well. None of the eye rollingness comes from adhering to classic story patterns. For instance, this episode provided a first prediction whiff about the fate of Theon Greyjoy. I thought he was beyond redemption, and would live for his sins, apparently the writers disagreed and sent him away with a noble death, accepted home, redeemed. In hindsight, I should have taken the obvious and tender moments with him eating with Sansa as a clue that Theon would, in fact, be redeemed, as Sansa had clearly forgiven him his sins.

However, in the case of Lyanna Mormont, I went with the "don't pet Bitey McBitedog" trope, and, alas, was sad to see that come to pass. It was interesting to hear the writers talk about how she was originally a one episode character, but the actress, Bella Ramsey, did such a spectacular job in the role of Lyanna Mormont, that they kept her around and eventually she became such a presence and fan favorite that she got a major death scene. Rest in peace, our heroine of the North.

Game of Thrones remembers

If somebody says something on Game of Thrones, it's generally for a reason. Predictions, arguments, mysterious statements, etc., can't be ignored if you're trying to figure out where things are going. One instance where I used the pattern, but was wrong was in Bran would ride a dragon because of the old Three Eyed Raven said "… you will fly." I took this to mean physically, but he's flown as the Three Eyed Raven possessing the bodies of any number of ravens. Part of this prejudice comes from going straight there the second the old Three Eyed Raven said it because of the special saddle Tyrion designed that allowed Bran to ride. No dragon airlift, needed, turns out.

Melisandre and Beric Dondarrion

It might seem like a risk to just have Melisandre riding up out of the night at the last minute, but it would have been really weird if she had not been there if they had managed to take out the Night King through some other plot line. Obviously, in the one we got she was essential. With Beric Dondarrion, this was their battle — the light against the darkness — and the arc of their characters lead to this conclusion. Her arrival, followed by her setting all the Dothraki arakhs on fire was pitch perfect. What followed immediately thereafter, however… ugh, Westerosi strategy and tactics leave much to be desired. More on that later. But more than most, Melisandre and Beric Dondarrion played essential roles in The Long Night.

When Daenerys goes off script and attacks the Army of the Dead, she gets caught in the whiteout created by the White Walkers and cannot see the signal to set the barricade on fire. Melisandre calls on the Lord of Light to set it on fire, and he obliges, buying Team Living™ much needed time. When Arya is getting overwhelmed by wights, Beric Dondarrion throws his flaming sword into the attacker, allowing her to escape. These two events Arya to be reunited with Melisandre, so Melisandre could guide Arya to her epiphany.

The show, in hindsight, gave plenty of indication that the interaction between Melisandre and Arya would be decisive in the outcome of the The Long Night. Arya recalled Melisandre's prophesies, and Melisandre pointed out that they came true. Finally, Melisandre leads Arya to the idea of whacking the Night King herself with "And blue eyes?" and sending Arya on her way by asking what Syrio Forel asked her long ago, "What do we say to the god of death?" Arya: "Not today." The fear in her face is replaced by determination and off she runs to her destiny.

I won't go into the details, but merely observe that Melisandre's departure was perfect and beautiful and thanks for us having been set up in an earlier episode makes perfect sense. Question is now, what's motivating Ser Davos now his nemesis is gone?

Arya

In a way, this was the culmination of Arya's coming of age story. It seemed a little strange at the time when Arya went from mowing down wights with abandon to almost incapable of action, but in hindsight and with a second viewing it makes more sense — injured, tired, overwhelmed, wights and death everywhere — who wouldn't be? I'm still trying to figure out what was going on in the library and why that scene was necessary. Why were those wights just moseying around instead of running around like the rest of the wights? It seemed like a lot of screen time, and for what, I am not sure. But, in combination with her hook-up with Gendry, her fear and vulnerability have very quickly (re-)humanized her — she's got some of the old Arya Stark back, and can still pretty much whip anyone one-on-one, and, if you don't see her coming, you do not have a chance. And, in overcoming the fear that has gripped her to go and face the Night King, well, that's the definition of heroism. Our little girl has grown up!

I think I am going to have to revisit my Arya Stark prediction in light of new evidence. Three things come to mind. The first is that there may be something developing between her and Gendry, and that can't be for nothing with three episodes to go. Second, they spent a lot of time on her emotional Sturm und Drang between the time she stopped fighting after she got hurt, the time in the library (WTF?), and finally weeping over dying Beric Dondarrion. That all may just have been a set-up for her "rebirth" after Melsandre helps her find her path, but it could have been done in fewer scenes and not at the expense of Samwell finding some good wizard shit up in the Maester's chambers, dadgummit. And third, they spent a lot of time on Beric and the Hound saving Arya and getting her to Melisandre (even if that's not what they were necessarily meaning to do). It sure has the feeling of getting the Arya-Hound team back together. If they get the team back together, if a teammate dies, it's out on mission. Hold your hand up if you want to see Arya and the Hound go on a mission? (Holds up hand)

Guess who else besides the Night King tried that weaksauce grab-the-hand-with-the-blade trick with Arya? Brienne of Tarth!

Game of Thrones remembers!

Ser Jorah Mormont

I was surprised that Ser Jorah went out before the showdown with Cersei or a Jon/Daenerys conflagration, but I am not surprised that it was by her side — it had to be, right? If this is the episode he had to exit, this is about as good a way to do it. It will be interesting to see the Daenerys-small council interaction post-Ser Jorah.

Samwell Tarley WTF? Seriously, WTF?

It was stupid in Episode 2, it was stupider in Episode 3. What in Seven Hells was Samwell Tarley doing "fighting" the Army of the Dead? Why wasn't he boarded up and barricaded in the Maester's chambers trying to find some advantage in books along with Gilly and little Sam? Now, I'm sure that there would have been plenty of opportunities to get whacked in any number of ways, but the one particular way that Dolorous Ed got whacked was because Samwell is such a slack-ass on the battlefield. This is some seriously bad karma. If they're keeping him around, I guess it's to make him King Jon's, First of his Name, King of the Seven Kingdoms, Defender of the Realms of Men, titles… titles… Maester and to sit on his small council. SMDH.

S8E5 The Bells

The Bells was certainly a spectacular episode, but it did not fail to deliver its share of WTF moments. I get a bit (OK, a metric booty ton) of cognitive dissonance when I think of what the conversation between David Benioff and DB Weiss might have been before committing to a script.

Benioff: So, DB, how should Qyburn go out?

Weiss: I was thinking that maybe The Mountain should throw him down some stairs after he says something that The Mountain doesn't like!

Benioff: FTW awesome!

Or

Weiss: So, Dave, how should Cersei go out?

Benioff: I was thinking that she should go out in the embrace of her reconciled brother-lover Jaime as the Red Keep collapses on them.

Weiss: FTW awesomer!

Really? Cersei Lannister — the heretofore ultimate player in the Game of Thrones — just watches impotently while Daenerys burns TF out of King's Landing, then goes and dies in the embrace of her brother who she marked for assassination by having the ceiling fall in on her? No tricks at all up her sleeve? She's just going to sit by and watch Drogon destroy all of the defenses of King's Landing, then set the whole city on fire with a nuclear blast that sunders stone buildings like Robin Arryn's foot kicking Sansa's snow castle and wait to get TF out of Dodge only when Drogon starts to knock down the Red Keep? Only to die with the Red Keep falling on her head while she holds the reconciled Jaime in her arms? Cersei deserved better. She could have at least have been forced to hold Jaime as he died in her arms and lose the last thing she cared about before having the ceiling fall in.

Arya and The Hound

I had hoped that we'd see Arya and The Hound off on an adventure and/or mission, and while that didn't happen on screen, they did travel the thousand plus miles from Winterfell to King's Landing together, presumably stopping off at The Crossroads for some stew and ale and to catch up with Hot Pie. We got another twist in Arya's bildungsroman development with Sandor warning her off the path she's on, and her calling "Sandor… thank you" showed that she may likely heed it. Does this mean Gendry is back in play? Or, does Daenerys get on her list, which now looks like it has some magical get someone else to do the dirty work sauce on it? Arya will make it to the final episode, but I don't know if she'll make it through the whole thing. Maybe she'll marry Gendry for the good of the family and her cousin Jon Snow/Aegon Targaryen?

Varys

It's not surprising that Varys died, but how he went was a little confusing. Why did he burn the note letting people know that Jon Snow is really Aegon Targaryen? How is that for the good of the realm? It's possible he couldn't guess that Daenerys wasn't as vengeful as she turned out to be, and simply miscalculated. He surely knew she would kill him, so why did he stay to be killed? If he couldn't serve Jon, he could no longer serve the realm? Seems unlikely. Tired of the game? Perhaps. Touching scene between Varys and Tyrion at the end was a nice way to say goodbye to a favorite character.

Cleganebowl

While it was easy to predict that Cleganebowl would happen, it wasn't so easy to say how it would go down. What they came up with was well done, and while it would have been nice to see The Hound find some way to win and survive, the outcome was ultimately satisfying.

Euron Greyjoy

Euron getting taken out by Jaime works, but the serendipity of the encounter was weird and it relied on the suspension of disbelief breaking idea that Westerosi can swim in boots, armor, with swords and daggers strapped to them, etc. Still, it worked pretty well, if you squint.

Arya in the mayhem

They devoted an enormous amount of time focused on Arya suffering in the chaos of the destruction King's Landing, and on the interaction between her and the mother who helped her up and saved her from being trampled and her daughter. She won't take the torching by Daenerys of the mother-daughter pair she tried to help lightly, but I don't see how Arya can take out the Night King and Daenerys — they won't steal that thunder from Jon Snow. But Drogon, however…

Whither Drogon?

It's going to be pretty hard for the writers to pull a "ha-ha, just kidding!" for Daenerys and I don't see how she can win. There are two options as far as I can see: 1) she dies or 2) she goes back to somewhere across the Narrow Sea, perhaps Meereen or Vaes Dothrak to live with the Dosh Khaleen. The space among those options for bringing a dragon with you, especially a fully-operational nuclear hellfire breather like Drogon, is limited. It seems it would be a stretch that Jon could just use his half-Targaryen charm to get Drogon to follow him after his mother Daenerys dies or ships off across the Narrow Sea. Him dying of heartbreak might be plausible if he were up north in the middle of winter, since they've already hinted that dragons don't do well in the cold.

What are we going to do with all these Dothraki?

It's one thing to have a bunch of Unsullied left over after Daenerys's exit (although Grey Worm seems to have developed some issues after the execution of Missandei), it's quite another to have a bunch of Dothraki rampaging across Westeros. Although a good many of them were lost to the Army of the Dead, there certainly were a bunch of them rampaging through King's Landing in this episode — enough to cause an intolerable amount of mayhem in Westeros especially now that winter has come. Maybe Daenerys tells (or someone otherwise convinces (um, Tyrion, lookin' at you, champ!)) Kovarro, who as far as I know is her only surviving bloodrider, to take the khalasar back across the Narrow Sea to the Great Grass Sea where they can go back to doing their Dothraki thing. They have a lot of loose ends to wrap up — could they really just, meh, hope that the audience doesn't notice a few thousand Dothraki Screamers just don't show up in Episode 6? Speaking of which…

There are a lot of loose ends to tie up

To go full Strunk, let me a third time say, there are a lot of loose ends to tie up. Although it's clearly impossible to attempt to enumerate them all here (because there are so goddamned many), let's go over a few that particularly come to mind.

Gendry Baratheon

Although there have been signs, the Daenerys Targaryen train really started going off the rails after she gave Gendry the Baratheon name. She did something noble and fair and probably stupid if Gendry could put 2 and 2 together, and everybody paid attention to the "former" King in the North Jon Snow. As Jonathan Abner Tobias Pissoff might have observed (in the sight of the new gods and the old), boy, did that peee-eee-eee-ees her off! I don't think that they elevate Gendry just to propose to Arya just to have her rebuff him. It would be an interesting full circle to unite House Baratheon and House Stark per Robert's original vision. Could go down two ways…

Ser Davos Seaworth

They can't be continuing to sling face time for Ser Davos only to set up smuggling plots that failed because the contraband gets crushed under keep that a dragon knocked down. Or, maybe they can. It would seem, however, that his loyalty should lie with Gendry…

Yara Greyjoy

With Euron dispatched, Yara would seem to be the pretty much undisputed front-runner for the queen of the Iron Islands, but what role does she have in the Game of Thrones endgame? No hint given at this point.

King's Landing

Forget the endgame aspects of the story, what about the annihilation of a city of a million or more by fire and sword and spear as winter has come in Westeros? There's going to be a lot of clean up needed, bodies burned, etc., and now we have the whole armies outside who just helped a crazy woman on a giant black dragon kill women, children, babies, old folks, kittens, gerbils, puppies, goldfish, whateves, on the one side and all the people still left alive on the other. It's obvious that they "surrender", but the aftermath has got to be messy. It will be interesting to see how they wave this one away.

Casterly Rock and House Lannister

Tyrion is still alive, but it's an end what needs tying.

Bronn

Tyrion promised Bronn the Reach. Will he be in a position to pay his debt? If not, what happens? Bronn is mercenary, but he's also reasonable.

Other characters lying about

• Ser Brienne of Tarth
• Samwell Tarley, Gilly, and little Sam
• Grey Worm

Endgame

And, with all of that, everything has to get wrapped up in 80 minutes? This is going to be something to see. A lot can happen if Bran wargs into Drogon…