Sooooooweeeee!

Here piggy piggy! Support our troops! War on Terra! Let's slip a cool 8 billion in for missile defense and call it "supporting the troops". Sure there's a few hundred million here for the USMC for armor, a hundred million there for the USA for armor. Good. They need it. Bring 'em home before they get it and themselves too scratched up. But missile defense? Ronald "Second Worst President In History" Reagan's legacy is still ripping us off.

I have a plan.

Dear Real Republicans,

I know real Republicans. Real Republicans love their country. Real Republicans are concerned about her future. Real Republicans don't think science is something that flies in the face of God, but rather is a blessing from God that reveals the miracles of creation. Real Republicans believe in fiscal discipline. Real Republicans distain pork-barrel politics. Real Republicans can't possibly want to be associated with the felons (just because they were pardoned doesn't mean that they were never convicted of high crimes) and vermin who are calling themselves Republicans and are now running the show. I know it's hard to look across the aisle and see anything that might inspire you. Well, stay on your side of the aisle. Just kick some of those pseudo-Republicans in the ass. If you don't want to do even that, please put a provision in your will that will allow me wrap your corpse in copper wire and put magnets in your casket so I can generate clean electricity from you spinning in your grave, because I guarantee, you will be.

Sincerely,

Rantzilla