Ambrose's Antidote: CEMETERY

CEMETERY, n. An isolated suburban spot where mourners match lies, poets write at a target and stone-cutters spell for a wager. The inscriptions following will serve to illustrate the success attained in these Olympian games:

      His virtues were so conspicuous that his enemies, unable to
  overlook them, denied them, and his friends, to whose loose lives
  they were a rebuke, represented them as vices.  They are here
  commemorated by his family, who shared them.
      In the earth we here prepare a
      Place to lay our little Clara.

Thomas M. and Mary Frazer

      P.S. -- Gabriel will raise her.