Surge!

They're surgin'! Oh, ya, you betcha! Three words Blaze of Glory. As of posting the fine video. It's strangely appropriate... sadly.

The Data Are Not The Map

There's much more to a map than the data used to create it. I'd argue, knowing what to elide is what makes a great cartographer, and those maps with nothing left to remove are the best (and beautiful) maps.

Nerd Tongue Twister

How many bits would an eight bit byte bite if an eight bit byte could bite?

As of writing a Google search for byte-could-bite came up with zilch, leading me to believe that this twist on the venerable woodchuck twister chucks wood.

Dadgummit! Distracted Again!

Python Challenge. Don't ask how I found it. I guess the Python is there because it's Python hackers who put it together? I don't know... I just found it. I could be the Emacs challenge, because I hit upon one solution accidentially trying to go to the beginning of a string... during a Slime session with CLisp as the inferior lisp...

Ah Emacs

I love emacs. It never ceases to amaze me. It's the distillation of people-centuries worth of hacker wisdom, and if it doesn't do something you think that it *should*, chances are you just haven't uncovered yet. I was reading a manual entry, which made reference to a file in etc. I was wondering if there was a key binding to open the file at the point. Hitting return answered that question in the affirmative...

C-u 100 M-x all-hail-emacs

Google Code Search: Yikes!

As of posting, the top three hits for lang:c kludge are in openssl code! Zoiks! No hits for anything for ocaml, caml, or ml. SCSH come in high for generic scheme searches. Cool beans!

Interview with Steve Wozniak

This interview with Steve Wozniak is a great read. In this day of the swashbucking privateers of capitalism, this advice seems refreshing:

Wozniak: First of all, try to have the highest of ethics and to be open and truthful about things, not hiding. If you have to hide something for company reasons, at least explain what you're doing. Don't mislead people. Know in your heart that you are a good person with good goals because that will carry over to your own self-confidence and your belief in your engineering abilities. Always seek excellence: make your product better than the average person would.

If you can just quickly whip something out and it's done, maybe it's time, once in a while, to think and think and think, "can I make it better than it is, a little superior?" What it does is not necessarily make the product better in the end, but it brings you closer to the product and your own head understands it better. Your neurons have gone through the code you wrote, or the circuits you designed, have gone through it more times, and it's just a little more solidly in your head and once in a while you'll wake up and say, "Oh my God, I just realized a bug that's in there, something I hadn't thought of."

Keyboard Shortcuts in Gmail

If you have a gmail account, turn on your keyboard shortcuts right away.

Word Annoyances

Word, I'm sure, is a fine product for many folks. Commenting and revision tracking is cool enough. However, it has some quirks that drive me bonkers. What's doubly troubling is that I've as of yet been able to find any way to circumvent said behavior by thinking.

I'm in the throes of writing requirements for some software we're going to be pushing out. We've got some boilerplate subsections for features, and it's a hassle to write the titles and set them to their proper formatting, etc. I'm sure that there is a quick and easy method for writing a macro to insert this very stuff, but wouldn't it be easier to just copy-and-paste the boilerplate? You would think so (in the near term).

But no.

For some reason, the numbering on the last subsection would disappear after the copy and paste. If you copy that last section and pasted it after its parent section, you'd get numbers. Moreover, there wasn't any way to get that pasted text (AFAICT) to have the proper number. That is, I could remove the formatting, then reset the formatting and no number. There is no way to meaningfully get at the numbering interface with a few point and clicks. Fug.

The fix was intuitively obvious. I copied the subsection preceding the troublesome bit and pasted it after the same. I renamed the pasted section to that of the troublesome one and deleted Nemesis's text. It worked. Feh.

Don't even get me started on "page setup" going AWOL...

Done Dosing

Gonna give the dose a rest for a while. See if I can't come up with something a little more interesting...

Ambrose's Antidote: COMPROMISE

COMPROMISE, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due.

daily dose of w

We cannot start Mitchell, the Mitchell Plan, until the cycle of violence has been crushed and broken.

GWB
20 Jun 2001
Washington, D.C.

Ambrose's Antidote: COMMONWEALTH

COMMONWEALTH, n. An administrative entity operated by an incalculable multitude of political parasites, logically active but fortuitously efficient.

  This commonwealth's capitol's corridors view,
  So thronged with a hungry and indolent crew
  Of clerks, pages, porters and all attaches
  Whom rascals appoint and the populace pays
  That a cat cannot slip through the thicket of shins
  Nor hear its own shriek for the noise of their chins.
  On clerks and on pages, and porters, and all,
  Misfortune attend and disaster befall!
  May life be to them a succession of hurts;
  May fleas by the bushel inhabit their shirts;
  May aches and diseases encamp in their bones,
  Their lungs full of tubercles, bladders of stones;
  May microbes, bacilli, their tissues infest,
  And tapeworms securely their bowels digest;
  May corn-cobs be snared without hope in their hair,
  And frequent impalement their pleasure impair.
  Disturbed be their dreams by the awful discourse
  Of audible sofas sepulchrally hoarse,
  By chairs acrobatic and wavering floors --
  The mattress that kicks and the pillow that snores!
  Sons of cupidity, cradled in sin!
  Your criminal ranks may the death angel thin,
  Avenging the friend whom I couldn't work in.

K.Q.

daily dose of w

I am a person who recognizes the fallacy of humans.

GWB
19 Sep 2000
Comment made on TV talk show, Oprah.

Ambrose's Antidote: COMMERCE

COMMERCE, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E.

daily dose of w

I don't think we need to be subliminable about the differences between our views on prescription drugs.

GWB
12 Sep 2000
Quoted by Slate magazine from comments in Orlando, Florida.

Ambrose's Antidote: COMMENDATION,

COMMENDATION n. The tribute that we pay to achievements that resembles, but do not equal, our own.

daily dose of w

I've supported the administration in Colombia. I think it's important for us to be training Colombians in that part of the world. The hemisphere is in our interest to have a peaceful Colombia.

GWB
11 Oct 2000
Presidential Debate in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

Ambrose's Antidote: COMFORT

COMFORT, n. A state of mind produced by contemplation of a neighbor's uneasiness.

daily dose of w

The point is, is that I want America to lead the nation -- lead the world -- toward a more safe world when it comes to nuclear weaponry.

GWB
27 Jan 2000
Quoted in the New York Times.

Ambrose's Antidote: COENOBITE

COENOBITE, n. A man who piously shuts himself up to meditate upon the sin of wickedness; and to keep it fresh in his mind joins a brotherhood of awful examples.

  O Coenobite, O coenobite,
      Monastical gregarian,
  You differ from the anchorite,
      That solitudinarian:
  With vollied prayers you wound Old Nick;
  With dropping shots he makes him sick.

Quincy Giles

daily dose of w

Our nation must come together to unite.

GWB
4 Jun 2001
Remark made in Tampa, Florida.

Ambrose's Antidote: CLOSE-FISTED

CLOSE-FISTED, adj. Unduly desirous of keeping that which many meritorious persons wish to obtain.

  "Close-fisted Scotchman!" Johnson cried
      To thrifty J. Macpherson;
  "See me -- I'm ready to divide
      With any worthy person."
  Sad Jamie:  "That is very true --
      The boast requires no backing;
  And all are worthy, sir, to you,
      Who have what you are lacking."

Anita M. Bobe

daily dose of w

She is a member of a labor union at one point.

GWB
2 Jan 2001
The president-elect, announcing Linda Chavez as his nomination to be secretary of the Department of Labor.

Ambrose's Antidote: CLOCK

CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time remains to him.

  A busy man complained one day:
  "I get no time!"  "What's that you say?"
  Cried out his friend, a lazy quiz;
  "You have, sir, all the time there is.
  There's plenty, too, and don't you doubt it --
  We're never for an hour without it."

Purzil Crofe

daily dose of w

One for the children. Over and out. For a while...

The illiteracy level of our children are appalling.

W
Washington, D.C., Jan. 23, 2004

The public education system in America is one of the most important foundations of our democracy. After all, it is where children from all over America learn to be responsible citizens, and learn to have the skills necessary to take advantage of our fantastic opportunistic society.

W
Santa Clara, CA
1 May 2002

I mean, there needs to be a wholesale effort against racial profiling, which is illiterate children.

W
Presidential Debate.
11 Oct 2000

Laura and I really don't realize how bright our children is sometimes until we get an objective analysis.

W
CNBC
15 April 2000

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

W
Florence, S.C.
11 Jan 2000

Ambrose's Antidote: CLIO

CLIO, n. One of the nine Muses. Clio's function was to preside over history -- which she did with great dignity, many of the prominent citizens of Athens occupying seats on the platform, the meetings being addressed by Messrs. Xenophon, Herodotus and other popular speakers.

daily dose of w

We like living in the White House. It's a nice place to live.

GWB
25 Aug 2001
Speaking to a reporter at his Crawford, TX ranch.

Ambrose's Antidote: CLERGYMAN

CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones.

daily dose of w

Reading is the basics for all learning.

GWB
28 Mar 2000
Comment from campaign stop in Reston, Virginia. The candidate was announcing his "Reading First" initiative.

Ambrose's Antidote: CLARIONET

CLARIONET, n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments that are worse than a clarionet -- two clarionets.

daily dose of w

It's amazing to be interested in history and living -- making history. It's an interesting coincidence.

GWB
5 Feb 1999
From a C-Span interview and as quoted in the Jewish World Review.

Ambrose's Antidote: CLAIRVOYANT

CLAIRVOYANT, n. A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron, namely, that he is a blockhead.

daily dose of w

I don't think we need to be subliminable about the differences between our views on prescription drugs.

GWB
12 Sep 2000
Quoted by Slate magazine from comments in Orlando, Florida.

Ambrose's Antidote: CLAIRVOYANT

CLAIRVOYANT, n. A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron, namely, that he is a blockhead.

daily dose of w

We're concerned about AIDS inside our White House. Make no mistake about it.

GWB
7 Feb 2001
Washington, D.C.

Ambrose's Antidote: CIRCUS

CIRCUS, n. A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.

daily dose of w

There's a huge trust. I see it all the time when people come up to me and say, 'I don't want you to let me down again.'

GWB
3 Oct 2000
Boston, Massachusetts

Ambrose's Antidote: CHRISTIAN

CHRISTIAN, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

  I dreamed I stood upon a hill, and, lo!
  The godly multitudes walked to and fro
  Beneath, in Sabbath garments fitly clad,
  With pious mien, appropriately sad,
  While all the church bells made a solemn din --
  A fire-alarm to those who lived in sin.
  Then saw I gazing thoughtfully below,
  With tranquil face, upon that holy show
  A tall, spare figure in a robe of white,
  Whose eyes diffused a melancholy light.
  "God keep you, strange," I exclaimed.  "You are
  No doubt (your habit shows it) from afar;
  And yet I entertain the hope that you,
  Like these good people, are a Christian too."
  He raised his eyes and with a look so stern
  It made me with a thousand blushes burn
  Replied -- his manner with disdain was spiced:
  "What!  I a Christian?  No, indeed!  I'm Christ."

G.J.

daily dose of w

I'm sure there'll be moments when we don't agree 100% of the time.

George W. Bush
December 2, 2000
Speaking to press. Referring to relationship between himself and Republican
Congress.

Ambrose's Antidote: CHILDHOOD

CHILDHOOD, n. The period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth -- two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.

daily dose of w

You know, I hear people say, well, civil war this, civil war that. The Iraqi people decided against civil war when they went to the ballot box.

George W Bush
Prairie Chapel Ranch
Crawford, Texas
7 August 2006

Ambrose's Antidote: CERBERUS

CERBERUS, n. The watch-dog of Hades, whose duty it was to guard the entrance -- against whom or what does not clearly appear; everybody, sooner or later, had to go there, and nobody wanted to carry off the entrance. Cerberus is known to have had three heads, and some of the poets have credited him with as many as a hundred. Professor Graybill, whose clerky erudition and profound knowledge of Greek give his opinion great weight, has averaged all the estimates, and makes
the number twenty-seven -- a judgment that would be entirely conclusive is Professor Graybill had known (a) something about dogs,and (b) something about arithmetic.

daily dose of w

I want you to know that farmers are not going to be secondary thoughts to a Bush administration. They will be in the forethought of our thinking.

GWB
10 Aug 2000
Salinas, California

Ambrose's Antidote: CENTAUR

CENTAUR, n. One of a race of persons who lived before the division of labor had been carried to such a pitch of differentiation, and who followed the primitive economic maxim, "Every man his own horse." The best of the lot was Chiron, who to the wisdom and virtues of the horse added the fleetness of man. The scripture story of the head of John the Baptist on a charger shows that pagan myths have somewhat sophisticated sacred history.

daily dose of w

There is a lot of speculation and I guess there is going to continue to be a lot of speculation until the speculation ends.

GWB
October 18, 1998
The Texas governor commenting on the possibility of his running for the presidency. Reported by the Austin American-Statesman

Ambrose's Antidote: CEMETERY

CEMETERY, n. An isolated suburban spot where mourners match lies, poets write at a target and stone-cutters spell for a wager. The inscriptions following will serve to illustrate the success attained in these Olympian games:

      His virtues were so conspicuous that his enemies, unable to
  overlook them, denied them, and his friends, to whose loose lives
  they were a rebuke, represented them as vices.  They are here
  commemorated by his family, who shared them.
      In the earth we here prepare a
      Place to lay our little Clara.

Thomas M. and Mary Frazer

      P.S. -- Gabriel will raise her.

daily dose of w

There's not going to be enough people in the system to take advantage of people like me.

GWB
9 Jun 2000
Referring to a possible Social Security crisis. Wilton, Connecticut.

Ambrose's Antidote: CAVILER

CAVILER, n. A critic of our own work.

daily dose of w

Do not subscribe---I mean, you know, you cannot subscribe those views to me...

GWB
13 Feb 2000
Comment made on NBC's Meet the Press. Mr. Bush was referring to whether or not he agreed with the views espoused by the chancellor of Bob Jones University.

Ambrose's Antidote: CAT

CAT, n. A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

  This is a dog,
      This is a cat.
  This is a frog,
      This is a rat.
  Run, dog, mew, cat.
  Jump, frog, gnaw, rat.

Elevenson

daily dose of w

I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well.

GWB
29 Jan 2001
Washington, D.C.

Ambrose's Antidote: CARTESIAN

CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, a famous philosopher, author of the celebrated dictum, Cogito ergo sum -- whereby he was pleased to suppose he demonstrated the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved, however, thus: Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;" as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.

daily dose of w

They just got a different tool to use than we do: They kill innocent lives to achieve objectives. That's what they do. And they're good. They get on the TV screens and they get people to ask questions about, well, you know, this, that or the other. I mean, they're able to kind of say to people: Don't come and bother us, because we will kill you.

GWB
28 July 2006
Joint news conference with Tony Blair.
East Room of the White House
Washington D. C.

Ambrose's Antidote: CARNIVOROUS

CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.

daily dose of w

John, we're going to get a good bill. I mean, one of the things I've learned is not to try to negotiate with you or me on national TV.

GWB
25 Apr 2001
Comment made during interview with CNN's John King.

Ambrose's Antidote: CARMELITE

CARMELITE, n. A mendicant friar of the order of Mount Carmel.

  As Death was a-rising out one day,
  Across Mount Camel he took his way,
      Where he met a mendicant monk,
      Some three or four quarters drunk,
  With a holy leer and a pious grin,
  Ragged and fat and as saucy as sin,
      Who held out his hands and cried:
  "Give, give in Charity's name, I pray.
  Give in the name of the Church.  O give,
  Give that her holy sons may live!"
      And Death replied,
      Smiling long and wide:
      "I'll give, holy father, I'll give thee -- a ride."

      With a rattle and bang
      Of his bones, he sprang
  From his famous Pale Horse, with his spear;
      By the neck and the foot
      Seized the fellow, and put
  Him astride with his face to the rear.

  The Monarch laughed loud with a sound that fell
  Like clods on the coffin's sounding shell:
  "Ho, ho!  A beggar on horseback, they say,
      Will ride to the devil!" -- and _thump_
      Fell the flat of his dart on the rump
  Of the charger, which galloped away.

  Faster and faster and faster it flew,
  Till the rocks and the flocks and the trees that grew
  By the road were dim and blended and blue
      To the wild, wild eyes
      Of the rider -- in size
      Resembling a couple of blackberry pies.
  Death laughed again, as a tomb might laugh
      At a burial service spoiled,
      And the mourners' intentions foiled
      By the body erecting
      Its head and objecting
  To further proceedings in its behalf.

  Many a year and many a day
  Have passed since these events away.
  The monk has long been a dusty corse,
  And Death has never recovered his horse.
      For the friar got hold of its tail,
      And steered it within the pale
  Of the monastery gray,
  Where the beast was stabled and fed
  With barley and oil and bread
  Till fatter it grew than the fattest friar,
  And so in due course was appointed Prior.

G.J.

daily dose of w

The important question is: How many hands have I shaked?

GWB
23 Oct 1999
Quoted by the New York Times. This was candidate Bush's response to a question about why he hadn't spent more time in New Hampshire.

Ambrose's Antidote: CAPITAL

CAPITAL, n. The seat of misgovernment. That which provides the fire, the pot, the dinner, the table and the knife and fork for the anarchist; the part of the repast that himself supplies is the disgrace before meat. Capital Punishment, a penalty regarding the justice and expediency of which many worthy persons -- including all the assassins -- entertain grave misgivings.

daily dose of w

I'll start -- do you want to start? Go ahead.

GWB
25 Jul 2006
East Room of the Whitehouse
Washington, DC

Ambrose's Antidote: CANONICALS

CANONICALS, n. The motley worm by Jesters of the Court of Heaven.

daily dose of w

The administration I'll bring is a group of men and women who are focused on what's best for America -- honest men and women, decent men and women, women who will see service to our country as a great privilege and who will not stain the house.

GWB
15 Jan 2000
Spoken during the Republican debate in Des Moines, Iowa.

He often says what he means, but this doesn't make sense unless he means it literally. That's probably the case.

Ambrose's Antidote: CANNON

CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.

daily dose of w

I hope to get a sense of, should I be fortunate enough to be the president, how my administration will react to the Middle East.

GWB
12 Oct 2000
From comments made in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

Add equal parts handgun, gasoline, and tequila...

Ambrose's Antidote: CANNIBAL

CANNIBAL, n. A gastronome of the old school who preserves the simple tastes and adheres to the natural diet of the pre-pork period.

daily dose of w

You see, the thing is, what they need to do is to get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit and it’s over.

GWB
17 July 2006
Conversation with Tony Blair in St Petersburg, Russia.

A Letter From Dick Cheney

The National Republican Congressional Committee sent me a letter on behalf of Dick Cheney, if the fake signature is to be believed. In other times, I might be moved to send a real conservative (you know -- gummint out of my and everyone else's personal life, spending less than you take in, free trade) a buck or two, but I'm not so inclined these days. Here's a line that gave me a grim chuckle:

When the President and I took office, we were determined to get beyond the tired old debates and petty partisanship. We were determined to solve problems, not just pass them on to the next generation.

Mr. Vice President, may I present a problem that we didn't have before you got into office and one with which we'll be saddled long after you depart: Iraq. May I present another: the budget deficit. May I present a problem that needed solving that you simply failed to solve: Afghanistan.

Anyone got a problem that this crowd actually solved?

Anyone?

Ambrose's Antidote: CAMEL

CAMEL, n. A quadruped (the Splaypes humpidorsus) of great value to the show business. There are two kinds of camels -- the camel proper and the camel improper. It is the latter that is always exhibited.

daily dose of w

We've got to end the process-oriented world of public schools.

GWB
20 Mar 2001

He often says exactly what he means.

Ambrose's Antidote: CALUMNUS

CALUMNUS, n. A graduate of the School for Scandal.

daily dose of w

It is incredibly presumptive for somebody who has not yet earned his party's nomination to start speculating about vice presidents.

GWB
22 Oct 1999
Comment made while visiting Keene, New Hampshire.

Ambrose's Antidote: CALLOUS

CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.

When Zeno was told that one of his enemies was no more he was observed to be deeply moved. "What!" said one of his disciples, "you weep at the death of an enemy?" "Ah, 'tis true," replied the great Stoic; "but you should see me smile at the death of a friend."

daily dose of w

The reason we start a war is to fight a war, win a war, thereby causing no more war.

GWB
3 Oct 2000
Boston, Massachusetts. First Presidential Debate.

That about sums it up!

Ambrose's Antidote: CALAMITY

CALAMITY, n. A more than commonly plain and unmistakable reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own ordering. Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

daily dose of w

Other Republican candidates may retort to personal attacks and negative ads.

George W. Bush fund-raising letter
24 Mar 2000
Quoted in the Washington Post.


Editors? Hah! We don't need no steenking editors!

Ambrose's Antidote: CABBAGE

CABBAGE, n. A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

The cabbage is so called from Cabagius, a prince who on ascending the throne issued a decree appointing a High Council of Empire consisting of the members of his predecessor's Ministry and the cabbages in the royal garden. When any of his Majesty's measures of state policy miscarried conspicuously it was gravely announced that several members of the High Council had been beheaded, and his murmuring subjects were appeased.

daily dose of w

The education issue ought to be discussed about.

GWB
15 Dec 2000
Speaking to press during meeting with Louisiana Senator John Breaux in Austin, Texas.

Not the Same As: CAAADR

(car (car (car (cdr foo))))

Ambrose's Antidote: CAABA

CAABA, n. A large stone presented by the archangel Gabriel to the patriarch Abraham, and preserved at Mecca. The patriarch had perhaps asked the archangel for bread.

daily dose of w

You know it's so much easy just to shove these problems down the road. The easy fix is to say, let somebody else deal with it. This administration is going to continue trying to work with Congress to deal with these issues. That's why I ran for office in the first place, to confront big problems and to solve them.

George W Bush
11 July 2006
East Room of the White House
Washington D. C.

Spam-be-gone!

I guess some Blogger guy or gal took in the magesty that is Rantzilla, and gave it the all clear. Yea!

Ambrose's Antidote: BRUTE

BRUTE, n. See HUSBAND.

daily dose of w

Well, it's an unimaginable honor to be the president during the Fourth of July of this country. It means what these words say, for starters. The great inalienable rights of our country. We're blessed with such values in America. And I -- it's -- I'm a proud man to be the nation based upon such wonderful values.

GWB
2 Jul 2001
Spoken during a visit to the Jefferson Memorial in Washington, D.C.

Ambrose's Antidote: BRIDE

BRIDE, n. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

daily dose of w

Oh, I thought you said 'some band.' The Taliban in Afghanistan! Absolutely -- Repressive.

George W. Bush
circa June 2000
After seeming confused when asked a question about the Taliban, Governor Bush responded after being prompted by the reporter ("Repression of women in Afghanistan?")

Eye on the ball.

Orange II

Yow! Hit an iceberg along the way... was no big thing. I gotta get me one of those.

Ask Dr Aybabtu: Rantzilla a Spam Blog?

Yo Doc,

I recently had to do word verification to post to Rantzilla. Blogger said that their robots said it looked like a spam blog. What up?

G

Well "G" (is that some sort of a rap thing from Atlanta?), it might have something to do with you not posting shit except your "daily dose" and your quips from The Devil's Dictionary. Dr Aybabytu suggests that you post something, oh, say, original or insightful every now and then to keep the spam police off of your back.

HTH,

Dr A

Ambrose's Antidote: BRANDY

BRANDY, n. A cordial composed of one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan. Dose, a headful all the time. Brandy is said by Dr. Johnson to be the drink of heroes. Only a hero will venture to drink it.

daily dose of w

You'll be in a world in which fits into my philosophy. You know, the harder work -- the harder you work, the more you can keep. That's the American way.

GWB
17 Oct 2000
Third Presidential Debate in St. Louis, Missouri.

Ambrose's Antidote: BRAIN

BRAIN, n. An apparatus with which we think what we think. That which distinguishes the man who is content to _be_ something from the man who wishes to _do_ something. A man of great wealth, or one who has been pitchforked into high station, has commonly such a headful of brain that his neighbors cannot keep their hats on. In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, brain is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

daily dose of w

We're still being challenged in Iraq and the reason why is a free Iraq will be a major defeat in the cause of freedom.

GWB
5 Apr 2004
Charlotte, North Carolina.

Ambrose's Antidote: BRAHMA

BRAHMA, n. He who created the Hindoos, who are preserved by Vishnu and destroyed by Siva -- a rather neater division of labor than is found among the deities of some other nations. The Abracadabranese, for example, are created by Sin, maintained by Theft and destroyed by Folly. The priests of Brahma, like those of Abracadabranese, are holy and learned men who are never naughty.

  O Brahma, thou rare old Divinity,
  First Person of the Hindoo Trinity,
  You sit there so calm and securely,
  With feet folded up so demurely --
  You're the First Person Singular, surely.

Polydore Smith

daily dose of w

I suspect that had my dad not been president, he'd be asking the same questions: How'd your meeting go with so-and-so? How did you feel when you stood up in front of the people for the State of the Union Address -- State of the Budget Address -- whatever you call it.

GWB
9 Mar 2001
From an interview with the Washington Post.

Ambrose's Antidote: BOUNTY

BOUNTY, n. The liberality of one who has much, in permitting one who has nothing to get all that he can.

A single swallow, it is said, devours ten millions of insects every year. The supplying of these insects I take to be a signa instance of the Creator's bounty in providing for the lives of His creatures.

Henry Ward Beecher

daily dose of w

W: So what state is Wales in?
CHURCH: Its a separate country next to England.
W: Oh, okay.

GWB
30 Oct 2001
Exchange between Dubya and Welsh teenage singing sensation Charlotte Church, as reported in MSNBC

Ambrose's Antidote: BOUNDARY

BOUNDARY, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of the other.

daily dose of w

It is not Reaganesque to support a tax plan that is Clinton in nature.

GWB
23 Feb 2000
From comments made in Los Angeles and reported by Slate magazine.

Once again, he's right!

Ambrose's Antidote: BOTTLE-NOSED

BOTTLE-NOSED, adj. Having a nose created in the image of its maker.

daily dose of w

If the terriers and bariffs are torn down, this economy will grow.

GWB
7 Jan 2000
Spoken in Rochester, New York during presidential campaign.

Ambrose's Antidote: BOTANY

BOTANY, n. The science of vegetables -- those that are not good to eat, as well as those that are. It deals largely with their flowers, which are commonly badly designed, inartistic in color, and ill-smelling.

daily dose of w

Q Mr. President, there has been a bit of an international outcry over reports of secret U.S. prisons in Europe for terrorism suspects. Will you let the Red Cross have access to them? And do you agree with Vice President Cheney that the CIA should be exempt from legislation to ban torture?

PRESIDENT BUSH: Our country is at war, and our government has the obligation to protect the American people. The executive branch has the obligation to protect the American people; the legislative branch has the obligation to protect the American people. And we are aggressively doing that. We are finding terrorists and bringing them to justice. We are gathering information about where the terrorists may be hiding. We are trying to disrupt their plots and plans. Anything we do to that effort, to that end, in this effort, any activity we conduct, is within the law. We do not torture.

George W Bush
7 November 2005
President Bush Meets with President Torrijos of Panama
Casa Amarilla
Panama City, Panama

Ambrose's Antidote: BORE

BORE, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

daily dose of w

"... deteriate (deteriorate) ... hayenous (heinous) ... vented (vetted) ..."

GWB
14 May 2001
Mispronunciations committed during one informal press conference at the White House.

What? No Nukular?

Ambrose's Antidote: BONDSMAN

BONDSMAN, n. A fool who, having property of his own, undertakes to become responsible for that entrusted to another to a third.

Philippe of Orleans wishing to appoint one of his favorites, a dissolute nobleman, to a high office, asked him what security he would be able to give. "I need no bondsmen," he replied, "for I can give you my word of honor." "And pray what may be the value of that?" inquired the amused Regent. "Monsieur, it is worth its weight in gold."

daily dose of w

But as a result of evil, there's some amazing things that are taking place in America.

GWB
Daytona Beach, Florida.

Ambrose's Antidote: BODY-SNATCHER

BODY-SNATCHER, n. A robber of grave-worms. One who supplies the young physicians with that with which the old physicians have supplied the undertaker. The hyena.

  "One night," a doctor said, "last fall,
  I and my comrades, four in all,
      When visiting a graveyard stood
  Within the shadow of a wall.

  "While waiting for the moon to sink
  We saw a wild hyena slink
      About a new-made grave, and then
  Begin to excavate its brink!

  "Shocked by the horrid act, we made
  A sally from our ambuscade,
      And, falling on the unholy beast,
  Dispatched him with a pick and spade."

Bettel K. Jhones

daily dose of w

If affirmative action means what I just described, what I'm for, then I'm for it.

GWB
17 Oct 2000
St. Louis, Missouri presidential debate.

Ambrose's Antidote: BLANK-VERSE

BLANK-VERSE, n. Unrhymed iambic pentameters -- the most difficult kind of English verse to write acceptably; a kind, therefore, much affected by those who cannot acceptably write any kind.

daily dose of w

First, we would not accept a treaty that would not have been ratified, nor a treaty that I thought made sense for the country.

GWB
24 Apr 2001
Referring to the Kyoto Accord. From an interview published in the Washington Post.

Ambrose's Antidote: BLACKGUARD

BLACKGUARD, n. A man whose qualities, prepared for display like a box of berries in a market -- the fine ones on top -- have been opened on the wrong side. An inverted gentleman.

daily dose of w

The point is, this is a way to help inoculate me about what has come and is coming.

GWB
2 Sep 2000
Referring to his campaign's anti-Gore advertising. From an interview with the New York Times.

Ambrose's Antidote: BIRTH

BIRTH, n. The first and direst of all disasters. As to the nature of it there appears to be no uniformity. Castor and Pollux were born from the egg. Pallas came out of a skull. Galatea was once a block of stone. Peresilis, who wrote in the tenth century, avers that he grew up out of the ground where a priest had spilled holy water. It is known that Arimaxus was derived from a hole in the earth, made by a stroke of lightning. Leucomedon was the son of a cavern in Mount Aetna, and I have myself seen a man come out of a wine cellar.

daily dose of w

I will have a foreign-handed foreign policy.

GWB
27 Sep 2000
Comment made in Redwood, California during presidential campaign.

Ambrose's Antidote: BILLINGSGATE

BILLINGSGATE, n. The invective of an opponent.

daily dose of w

I think what we need to do is convince people who live in the lands they live in to build the nations.

GWB
11 Oct 2000
Presidential Debate -- Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

I think this was before he knew that Dick Cheney and Don Rumsfeld (and Paul Wolfowitz and Elliot Abrams and Scooter Libby and Zalmay Khalilzad and.. ) had other ideas about nation building...

Ambrose's Antidote: BIGOT

BIGOT, n. One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

daily dose of w

I always -- always -- sometimes say, government can hand out money -- and I'm going to talk about some of the money we're trying to hand out -- but government can't put hope in a person's heart, or a sense of purpose in a person's life.

GWB
3 Mar 2004
Los Angeles, California.

Ambrose's Antidote: BIGAMY

BIGAMY, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.

daily dose of w

I was having a little problem with my quote database this AM, and in the fixing discovered that W doesn't take his own advice! Compare 2000:

We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans.

George W. Bush
6 Sep 2000
From a speech delivered in Scranton, Pennsylvania.

to 2006:

I hear the voices and I read the front page, and I know the speculation. But, I'm the decider, and I decide what is best and what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense.

George W Bush
18 Apr 2006

Ambrose's Antidote: BERENICE'S HAIR

BERENICE'S HAIR, n. A constellation (_Coma Berenices_) named in honor of one who sacrificed her hair to save her husband.

  Her locks an ancient lady gave
  Her loving husband's life to save;
  And men -- they honored so the dame --
  Upon some stars bestowed her name.

  But to our modern married fair,
  Who'd give their lords to save their hair,
  No stellar recognition's given.
  There are not stars enough in heaven.

G.J.

daily dose of w

As you can possibly see, I have an injury myself not here at the hospital, but in combat with a cedar. I eventually won. The cedar gave me a little scratch.

GWB

1 Jan 2006
After visiting with wounded veterans from the Amputee Care Center of Brooke Army Medical Center, San Antonio, Texas.

How's it possible...

... that upon cleaning off my desk this AM I find 4 legal pads with exactly one sheet of paper left?

Ambrose's Antidote: BENEFACTOR

BENEFACTOR, n. One who makes heavy purchases of ingratitude, without, however, materially affecting the price, which is still within the means of all.

daily dose of w

I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace.

GWB
18 June 2002
Remarks by the President on homeownership at the Department of Housing and Urban Development Washington, D.C.

Ambrose's Antidote: BENEDICTINES

BENEDICTINES, n. An order of monks otherwise known as black friars.

  She thought it a crow, but it turn out to be
      A monk of St. Benedict croaking a text.
  "Here's one of an order of cooks," said she --
      "Black friars in this world, fried black in the next."

"The Devil on Earth" (London, 1712)

daily dose of w

Marching for war doesn't instill a lot of confidence in the future.

GWB
19 Feb 2004
Washington, D.C.

Ambrose's Antidote: BELLADONNA

BELLADONNA, n. In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.

daily dose of w

Vice President mentioned Nigeria is a fledgling democracy. We have to work with Nigeria. That's an important continent.

GWB
11 Oct 2000
Presidential Debate in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

Ambrose's Antidote: BEHAVIOR

BEHAVIOR, n. Conduct, as determined, not by principle, but by breeding. The word seems to be somewhat loosely used in Dr. Jamrach Holobom's translation of the following lines from the _Dies Irae_:

      Recordare, Jesu pie,
      Quod sum causa tuae viae.
      Ne me perdas illa die.

  Pray remember, sacred Savior,
  Whose the thoughtless hand that gave your
  Death-blow.  Pardon such behavior.

daily dose of w

W Nedra, have you got a question?

Q Yes, sir. Can you respond to Iran's initial reaction to the incentives package today?

W Why don't you tell me what it was?

Q Well, the top negotiator said --

W You know I've been in Artesia?

GWB
6 Jun 06
Larado, Texas

Ambrose's Antidote: BEG

BEG, v. To ask for something with an earnestness proportioned to the belief that it will not be given.

  Who is that, father?
                        A mendicant, child,
  Haggard, morose, and unaffable -- wild!
  See how he glares through the bars of his cell!
  With Citizen Mendicant all is not well.

  Why did they put him there, father?

                                       Because
  Obeying his belly he struck at the laws.

  His belly?

              Oh, well, he was starving, my boy --
  A state in which, doubtless, there's little of joy.
  No bite had he eaten for days, and his cry
  Was "Bread!" ever "Bread!"

                              What's the matter with pie?

  With little to wear, he had nothing to sell;
  To beg was unlawful -- improper as well.

  Why didn't he work?

                       He would even have done that,
  But men said:  "Get out!" and the State remarked:  "Scat!"
  I mention these incidents merely to show
  That the vengeance he took was uncommonly low.
  Revenge, at the best, is the act of a Siou,
  But for trifles --

                      Pray what did bad Mendicant do?

  Stole two loaves of bread to replenish his lack
  And tuck out the belly that clung to his back.

  Is that _all_ father dear?

                              There's little to tell:
  They sent him to jail, and they'll send him to -- well,
  The company's better than here we can boast,
  And there's --

                  Bread for the needy, dear father?

                                                     Um -- toast.

Atka Mip

daily dose of w

I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well.

GWB
29 Jan 2001
Washington, D.C.

Ambrose's Antidote: BEFRIEND

BEFRIEND, v.t. To make an ingrate.

daily dose of w

I don't care what the polls say. I don't. I'm doing what I think what's wrong.

GWB
15 March 2000
The presidential candidate referring to his proposed economic plan -- as reported in the New York Times.

Ambrose's Antidote: BEAUTY

BEAUTY, n. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

daily dose of w

I'm also honored to be here with the Speaker of the House -- just happens to be from the state of Illinois. I'd like to describe the speaker as a trustworthy man. He's the kind of fellow who says when he gives you his word he means it. Sometimes that doesn't happen all the time in the political process.

GWB
6 Mar 2001
Speaking in Chicago, Illinois.

Ambrose's Antidote: BEARD

BEARD, n. The hair that is commonly cut off by those who justly execrate the absurd Chinese custom of shaving the head.

daily dose of w

We're ending deadlock and drift and making our system on behalf of the American people.

GWB
3 Aug 2001
Addressing reporters at the White House.

Ambrose's Antidote: BATTLE

BATTLE, n. A method of untying with the teeth of a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.

daily dose of w

The fact that he relies on facts -- says things that are not factual -- are going to undermine his campaign.

GWB
4 Mar 2000
Referring to Al Gore. Quoted in the New York Times.

Ambrose's Antidote: BATH

BATH, n. A kind of mystic ceremony substituted for religious worship, with what spiritual efficacy has not been determined.

  The man who taketh a steam bath
  He loseth all the skin he hath,
  And, for he's boiled a brilliant red,
  Thinketh to cleanliness he's wed,
  Forgetting that his lungs he's soiling
  With dirty vapors of the boiling.

Richard Gwow

daily dose of w

I think we ought to have high -- high standards and set by -- by agencies that rely upon science, not by what may feel good or what sound good.

GWB
15 Jan 2000
From Republican Debate in Des Moines, Iowa.

Ambrose's Antidote: BASTINADO

BASTINADO, n. The act of walking on wood without exertion.

daily dose of w

Kosovians can move back in.

GWB
9 Apr 1999
Referring to the situation in Kosovo. CNN's Inside Politics.

Ambrose's Antidote: BASILISK

BASILISK, n. The cockatrice. A sort of serpent hatched form the egg of a cock. The basilisk had a bad eye, and its glance was fatal. Many infidels deny this creature's existence, but Semprello Aurator saw and handled one that had been blinded by lightning as a punishment for having fatally gazed on a lady of rank whom Jupiter loved. Juno afterward restored the reptile's sight and hid it in a cave. Nothing is so well attested by the ancients as the existence of the basilisk, but the cocks have stopped laying.

daily dose of w

I knew it might put him in an awkward position that we had a discussion before finality has finally happened in this presidential race.

GWB
2 Dec 2000
Referring to a phone conversation with Louisiana Democratic Senator, John Breaux.

Ambrose's Antidote: BARRACK

BARRACK, n. A house in which soldiers enjoy a portion of that of which it is their business to deprive others.

daily dose of w

But as a result of evil, there's some amazing things that are taking place in America.

GWB
Daytona Beach, Florida.

Ambrose's Antidote: BAROMETER

BAROMETER, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

Editor's note: now we have the weather channel and weather.com.

daily dose of w

The senate needs to leave enough money in the proposed budget to not only reduce all marginal rates, but to eliminate the death tax, so that people who build up assets are able to transfer them from one generation to the next, regardless of a person's race.

GWB
5 Apr 2001
Washington, D.C.

Ambrose's Antidote: BAPTISM

BAPTISM, n. A sacred rite of such efficacy that he who finds himself in heaven without having undergone it will be unhappy forever. It is performed with water in two ways -- by immersion, or plunging, and by aspersion, or sprinkling.

  But whether the plan of immersion
  Is better than simple aspersion
      Let those immersed
      And those aspersed
  Decide by the Authorized Version,
  And by matching their agues tertian.

G.J.

daily dose of w

As I said in my State of the Union address, liberty is not America's gift to the world. Liberty is God's gift to human -- to the human -- mankind.

GWB
26 Feb 2003
Washington, D.C.

Ambrose's Antidote: BAIT

BAIT, n. A preparation that renders the hook more palatable. The best kind is beauty.

daily dose of w

I don't remember debates. I don't think we spent a lot of time debating it. Maybe we did, but I don't remember.

GWB
27 Jul 1999
Referring to whether he had discussions about the Vietnam War while an undergraduate at Yale University. Reported by the Washington Post.

Enjoy your tax cut!

Ahh... tax cuts! That's the way to stimulate the economy, eh? Uh, no. If I had 70 large. No, larger. No, larger. No... really fucking large! 70 billion dollars year in and year out, what would I do? Dunno. I'd consider funding college scholarships. With 70 really fucking large, I could provide a $20000 fellowship for college. Let vets be first in line, followed by those in need, then by those with an affection for physics (fuck yes, I'm prejudiced), then whoever wants one. Twenty grand into 70 fucking large is 3.5 million.

Yup.

70000 fully-funded students for each state in the union.

What kind of effect would *that* have on the economy?

Paris Hilton gets a break on her capital gains for investments in debt v. financial barrier to college eliminated for 3.5 million students every year? Nothing against Paris or investing in debt, but really.

Ambrose's Antidote: BACKBITE

BACKBITE, v.t. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.

daily dose of w

This campaign not only hears the voices of the entrepreneurs and the farmers and the entrepreneurs, we hear the voices of those struggling to get ahead.

GWB
21 Aug 2000
From campaign stop in Des Moines, Iowa.

We call them "messicans". And we can employ them without paying taxes or otherwise shouldering the burdens of American society. This captures the essence of the Rovian "conservative" movement. Oh, yeah, and hating gay folks and poor women, especially if they're pregnant.

Ambrose's Antidote: BACK

BACK, n. That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity.

daily dose of w

I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things.

GWB
4 Jun 2003
Aboard Air Force One

Ambrose's Antidote: BACCHUS

BACCHUS, n. A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

  Is public worship, then, a sin,
      That for devotions paid to Bacchus
  The lictors dare to run us in,
      And resolutely thump and whack us?

Jorace

daily dose of w

She is a member of a labor union at one point.

GWB
2 Jan 2001
The president-elect, announcing Linda Chavez as his nomination to be secretary of the Department of Labor.

Ambrose's Antidote: BABE/BABY

BABE or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable for the violence of the sympathies and antipathies it excites in others, itself without sentiment or emotion. There have been famous babes; for example, little Moses, from whose adventure in the bulrushes the Egyptian hierophants of seven centuries before doubtless derived their idle tale of the child Osiris being preserved on a floating lotus leaf.

          Ere babes were invented
          The girls were contended.
          Now man is tormented
  Until to buy babes he has squandered
  His money.  And so I have pondered
          This thing, and thought may be
          'T were better that Baby
  The First had been eagled or condored.

Ro Amil

Ambrose wouldn't have passed the hold the baby test, methinks.

daily dose of w

Put the off button on.

GWB
14 Feb 2000
Advice to parents who have concerns about violence on television.

Moni Basu: 2005 APC Journalist of the Year

From the Atlanta Press Club press release:

Moni Basu was named the overall 2005 Journalist of the Year, an honor accompanied by a $1000 prize.
Moni Basu was honored for her coverage of the 48th infantry brigade. She trained with the 48th at Fort Irwin in California in April and went to Iraq twice in 2005. Basu has made five trips to Iraq, totaling seven and a half months on the ground since 2002, serving as an embedded reporter on the last three.

Congratulations, Moni! This went down on the 6th. I don't know how I missed it...

Ambrose's Antidote: BAAL

BAAL, n. An old deity formerly much worshiped under various names. As Baal he was popular with the Phoenicians; as Belus or Bel he had the honor to be served by the priest Berosus, who wrote the famous account of the Deluge; as Babel he had a tower partly erected to his glory on the Plain of Shinar. From Babel comes our English word "babble." Under whatever name worshiped, Baal is the Sun-god. As Beelzebub he is the god of flies, which are begotten of the sun's rays on the stagnant water. In Physicia Baal is still worshiped as Bolus, and as Belly he is adored and served with abundant sacrifice by the priests of Guttledom.

daily dose of w

If a person doesn't have the capacity that we all want that person to have, I suspect hope is in the far distant future, if at all.

GWB
22 May 2001
From speech delivered to the Hispanic Scholarship Fund Institute.
Washington D.C.

William Rivers Pitt v Richard Cohen

WPR. No contest.

Note to Self: Reduce Reuse Recycle

All you gotta do is whip up a schema, and you're done, right? Uh, no. Good analysis from Tim Bray.

Ambrose's Antidote: AVERNUS

AVERNUS, n. The lake by which the ancients entered the infernal regions. The fact that access to the infernal regions was obtained by a lake is believed by the learned Marcus Ansello Scrutator to have suggested the Christian rite of baptism by immersion. This, however, has been shown by Lactantius to be an error.

  _Facilis descensus Averni,_
      The poet remarks; and the sense
  Of it is that when down-hill I turn I
      Will get more of punches than pence.

Jehal Dai Lupe

daily dose of w

Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines as we used to know it.

GWB
17 Oct 2000
Comments from St. Louis, Missouri Presidential Debate.

Al, Al, Al... slow pitches over the plate. Get some juice, man!

Guardian Wins A Webby

The Guardian wins a Webby for best online paper. Couldn't happen to a finer web-paper, IMHO. I love the link to the Style Guide on the homepage.

Ambrose's Antidote: AUSTRALIA

AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.

daily dose of w

If you're asking me whether or not as to the innocence or guilt or if people have had adequate access to the courts in Texas, I believe they have.

GWB
10 Jun 2000
Answer to question posed by an Associated Press reporter.

Book Armor

What? Well, let's start with the KINGFELIX Irrationale:

KINGFELIX is an outwardly random sequence. The protagonist operates beneath the surface of reason, the psychic paddle steamer dredging material from the river bottom. If the culture has thrown it away, I will locate it.

OK, need more? Yes, you do! Loaded with book reviews, film reviews, and skinheads getting their asses handed to them, get thee to Book Armor straight away!

Ambrose's Antidote: AUCTIONEER

AUCTIONEER, n. The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

daily dose of w

I am mindful of the difference between the executive branch and the legislative branch. I assured all four of these leaders that I know the difference.

GWB
18 Dec 2000
Washington, D.C. Reported by Slate magazine.

Ambrose's Antidote: ASS

ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear. In Virginia City, Nevada, he is called the Washoe Canary, in Dakota, the Senator, and everywhere the Donkey. The animal is widely and variously celebrated in the literature, art and religion of every age and country; no other so engages and fires the human imagination as this noble vertebrate. Indeed, it is doubted by some (Ramasilus, _lib. II., De Clem._, and C. Stantatus, _De Temperamente_) if it is not a god; and as such we know it was worshiped by the Etruscans, and, if we may believe Macrobious, by the Cupasians also. Of the only two animals admitted into the Mahometan Paradise along with the souls of men, the ass that carried Balaam is one, the dog of the Seven Sleepers the other. This is no small distinction. From what has been written about this beast might be compiled a library of great splendor and magnitude, rivalling that of the Shakespearean cult, and that which clusters about the Bible. It may be said, generally, that all literature is more or less Asinine.

  "Hail, holy Ass!" the quiring angels sing;
  "Priest of Unreason, and of Discords King!"
  Great co-Creator, let Thy glory shine:
  God made all else, the Mule, the Mule is thine!"

G.J.

daily dose of w

The senator [John McCain] has got to understand if he's going to have -- he can't have it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road.

GWB
17 Feb 2000
From campaign speech in Florence, South Carolina.

PS: His wife is a drug addict and he worships the devil.

Ambrose's Antidote: ASPERSE

ASPERSE, v.t. Maliciously to ascribe to another vicious actions which one has not had the temptation and opportunity to commit.

daily dose of w

A reformer with results is a conservative who has had compassionate results in the state of Texas.

GWB
10 Feb 2000
Quoted by the New York Times.

Ambrose's Antidote: ART

ART, n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related as
follows by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape, S.J.

  One day a wag -- what would the wretch be at? --
  Shifted a letter of the cipher RAT,
  And said it was a god's name!  Straight arose
  Fantastic priests and postulants (with shows,
  And mysteries, and mummeries, and hymns,
  And disputations dire that lamed their limbs)
  To serve his temple and maintain the fires,
  Expound the law, manipulate the wires.
  Amazed, the populace that rites attend,
  Believe whate'er they cannot comprehend,
  And, inly edified to learn that two
  Half-hairs joined so and so (as Art can do)
  Have sweeter values and a grace more fit
  Than Nature's hairs that never have been split,
  Bring cates and wines for sacrificial feasts,
  And sell their garments to support the priests.

daily dose of w

I hope we get to the bottom of the answer. It's what I'm interested to know.

GWB
26 Apr 2000
The presidential candidate is referring to the Elian Gonzalez negotiations.

Ambrose's Antidote: ARSENIC

ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn.

  "Eat arsenic?  Yes, all you get,"
      Consenting, he did speak up;
  "'Tis better you should eat it, pet,
      Than put it in my teacup."

Joel Huck

daily dose of w

The administration I'll bring is a group of men and women who are focused on what's best for America -- honest men and women, decent men and women, women who will see service to our country as a great privilege and who will not stain the house.

GWB
15 Jan 2000
Spoken during the Republican debate in Des Moines, Iowa.

Ambrose's Antidote: ARREST

ARREST, v.t. Formally to detain one accused of unusualness.

  God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.

_The Unauthorized Version_

daily dose of w

We will "use our technology to enhance uncertainties abroad."

GWB
7 Mar 2000
The president was referring to foreign threats, including terrorism. Quoted in the New York Times.

Abroad and at home as well.

Ambrose's Antidote: ARRAYED

ARRAYED, pp. Drawn up and given an orderly disposition, as a rioter hanged to a lamppost.

daily dose of w

Marching for war doesn't instill a lot of confidence in the future.

GWB
19 Feb 2004
Washington, D.C.

Ambrose's Antidote: ARMOR

ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

daily dose of w

My pan plays down an unprecedented amount of our national debt.

GWB
27 Feb 2001
From a speech concerning the proposed federal budget.

See, it works like this. You shake it around in a crick, and gold comes out. Freedom is on the march! You're either with us, or against us! Evildoers! Axis of Evil!

Ambrose's Antidote: ARISTOCRACY

ARISTOCRACY, n. Government by the best men. (In this sense the word is obsolete; so is that kind of government.) Fellows that wear downy hats and clean shirts -- guilty of education and suspected of bank accounts.

daily dose of w

They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program.

GWB
2 Nov 2000
The presidential candidate speaking in St. Charles, Missouri. Reported by USA Today. (Note: Social Security _is_ a federal program.)

This one has gone out before, but it captures the the combination of fervor and cluelessness that unfortunately has characterized the worst administration in the history of America. It's good to remind ourselves, and the folks that voted this administration into office that all the clues were there.

Software Project Post-Mortem

I've written a few software project post-mortems in my time, but I now realize that I can save myself a lot of time and hassle with the cut-and-paste version that will capture the essence of the problem:

Project X Post Mortem

1 Conclusion

No one gives a shit.

Ambrose's Antidote: ARENA

ARENA, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record.

daily dose of w

I hear the voices and I read the front page, and I know the speculation. But, I'm the decider, and I decide what is best and what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense.

GWB
18 Apr 2006

I stay away from that 4 20 bullshit since I discovered coke!

OK, maybe he didn't say that, if you close your eyes, you can *hear* him say it. You too, can hear the voices!

Ambrose's Antidote: ARDOR

ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.

I also believe that some of the decisions I've made up to now have affected our standing in parts of the world. I remember in the debates, somebody asked me about Europe. And I said, well, they wanted us to join the International Criminal Court, and I chose -- I said, that's not the right posture for the United States of America, or some saying I should have negotiated with [Yasser] Arafat for the four years I was president -- obviously, prior to his death.

GWB
14 Jan 2005
Aboard Air Force One

Ambrose's Antidote: ARCHITECT

ARCHITECT, n. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

daily dose of w

Then I went for a run with the other dog and just walked. And I started thinking about a lot of things. I was able to -- I can't remember what it was. Oh, the inaugural speech, started thinking through that.

GWB
22 Jan 2001
From an interview with U.S. News & World Report.

Ambrose's Antidote: ARCHBISHOP

ARCHBISHOP, n. An ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.

  If I were a jolly archbishop,
  On Fridays I'd eat all the fish up --
  Salmon and flounders and smelts;
  On other days everything else.

Jodo Rem

daily dose of w

And by the way, I'm still negotiating with myself ... And good Americans such as yourself are trying to get me to negotiate with myself.

GWB
29 Mar 2001
White House press conference.

Ambrose's Antidote: APRIL FOOL

APRIL FOOL, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.

daily dose of w

I regret that a private comment I made to the vice presidential candidate made it through the public airways.

GWB
5 Sept 2000
Alluding to an unfavorable comment (unpublishable here) he had made about a
certain reporter. Allentown, Pennsylvania.

W: There's Adam Clymer -- major league asshole -- from the New York Times!
Dick: Yeah, big time!

Huh huh... huh huh. Bevis and Butthead win the Whitehouse!

Ambrose's Antidote: APPLAUSE

APPLAUSE, n. The echo of a platitude.

daily dose of w

We're laying the groundwork for a national campaign -- a national campaign that I believe will result in a great victory in November 2002.

GWB
30 Jun _2003_
Tampa, Florida.

Ambrose's Antidote: APPETITE

APPETITE, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.

daily dose of w

I think it's important for those of us in a position of responsibility to be firm in sharing our experiences, to understand that the babies out of wedlock is a very difficult chore for mom and baby alike ... I believe we ought to say there is a different alternative than the culture that is proposed by people like Miss Wolf in society ... And, you know, hopefully, condoms will work, but
it hasn't worked.

GWB
21 Nov 1999
From an appearance on Meet the Press.

Ambrose's Antidote: APPEAL

APPEAL, v.t. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.

daily dose of w

But we've got a big border in Texas, with Mexico, obviously -- and we've got a big border with Canada -- Arizona is affected.

GWB
24 Jun 24, 2004
Washington, D.C.

Greatest Band in Any Space-Time Continuum

Since I'm tuned into Ween Radio listing to The Grobe, I'm pleased to announce that Ween has reclaimed the title of Greatest Band in Any Space-Time Continuum.

Yes, Celine is out of town, covering The Master. No, The Masters. With Tiger Woods, Superstar Billy Graham, Arnold Palmer and those guys.

I can barely finish this post... they are playing Band on the Run from: 2000-07-23 Beachcomber, Wellfleet, MA. Notice how they do dates -- correctly!

Boop Beep Boop Beep... 24

One of the silliest, most addictive shows ever is 24. Serendipity led me to a silly and addictive site in its own right: Blogs 4 Bauer. Do not miss Bauer Kill Counter. If you're into 24, this site is the Cape Canaveral of launch pads into the Jack Bauer universe.

Serendipity: Whenever I finish a blog post, I'll click the Next Blog link in the top right corner. This was last night's reward.

CVS Under SVN

We're having inclement weather here in Atlanta, and I suspect it might have something with me not having access our CVS repository. Not good, as I have a sluagh of hacks that I need to get done by Monday just to get back to being remotely on schedule.

Nuts.

There are two types representing bands in a spectrum: thems that use tools and thems that don't. I know some people who treat version control (SCM) as some necessary evil. They'll hack hack hack for days, get everything just the way they want it, then do a big shotgun commit. They'd rather give up their right nut than invest the time in learning how to make whatever source control they're using work for them. And by "invest the time", I mean something as simple (and abhorrent) downloading some free GUI front end and fiddle till it works. The other end of the spectrum are folks who'd damn near be paralyzed without some sort of SCM. They'll often make many small changes, test the change to make sure it does what it's supposed to do and doesn't break anything and commit that change, and *only* change, and recurse.

Hrrmm... wonder which end of the spectrum *I'm* on.

So I *know* that I've got a lot of hacking to do, and I've got to have some sort of SCM in place. So in Emacs shell:

svnadmin create svn
svn import my_cvs_sandbox                      \
      file:///path/to/svn/cvs_prj_name/trunk   \
     -m "why trunk? i might *branch* beeatches!"
svn co file:///path/to/svn/cvs_prj_name/trunk svn_sandbox

M-x to Emacs mini-buffer*:

svn[return]

Let's hack!


* svn-status is autoloaded in my .emacs file, so until I load up the svn package, svn-status is the only symbol that starts with svn, so Emacs knows what I want.

Fantom Planet

Fantom Planet is a geoblog wherein you can discover how GeoMullah survived a NAD Shift. From the site:

FANTOM PLANET is "some random geographer's" opinionated output about all things geospatial, geotechnical, and whatever else on location based information and services. ... And kickball.

Ambrose's Antidote: APOTHECARY

APOTHECARY, n. The physician's accomplice, undertaker's benefactor
and grave worm's provider.

  When Jove sent blessings to all men that are,
  And Mercury conveyed them in a jar,
  That friend of tricksters introduced by stealth
  Disease for the apothecary's health,
  Whose gratitude impelled him to proclaim:
  "My deadliest drug shall bear my patron's name!"

G.J.

daily dose of w

If you don't stand for anything, you don't stand for anything. If you don't stand for something, you don't stand for anything.

GWB
2 Nov 2000
Quoted by the Austin American-Statesman.

Jack Handey, the President.

Ambrose's Antidote: APOSTATE

APOSTATE, n. A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle.

daily dose of w

Well, it's an unimaginable honor to be the president during the Fourth of July of this country. It means what these words say, for starters. The great inalienable rights of our country. We're blessed with such values in America. And I -- it's -- I'm a proud man to be the nation based upon such wonderful values.

GWB
2 July 2001
Spoken during a visit to the Jefferson Memorial in Washington, D.C.

Ambrose's Antidote: APOLOGIZE

APOLOGIZE, v.i. To lay the foundation for a future offence.

daily dose of w

It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet.

GWB
24 Oct 2000
From speech delivered in Arlington Heights, Illinois.

Ambrose's Antidote: APHORISM

APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom.

  The flabby wine-skin of his brain
  Yields to some pathologic strain,
  And voids from its unstored abysm
  The driblet of an aphorism.

"The Mad Philosopher," 1697

daily dose of w

Unfairly but truthfully, our party has been tagged as being against things. Anti-immigrant, for example. And we're not a party of anti-immigrants. Quite the opposite. We're a party that welcomes people.

GWB
1 Jul 2000
Spoken while in Cleveland, Ohio.

Ambrose's Antidote: ANTIPATHY

ANTIPATHY, n. The sentiment inspired by one's friend's friend.

daily dose of w

The role of government is to create an environment that encourages Hispanic-owned businesses, women-owned businesses, anybody-kind-of-owned businesses.

GWB
19 Mar 2001

Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer

Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer is the book by Warren St John.

Great quote, gotta find the book

Just rapped with neighbor Jason, and he regaled me with snippets from a book about the college football scene. Quote:

I'd rather root for the University of Hell than Tennessee!

I understand the sentiment. Gotta find out what the title is and track it down.

I missed this in 2003

From Insulating Bush:

Dressed in a military flight suit, the president emerged from a four-seat Navy S-3B Viking with the words "George W. Bush Commander-in-Chief" painted just below the cockpit window.

No detail too small for KR. Mission Accomplished, baby, Mission Accomplished!

Plame "peripheral" to more serious questions...

Murray Waas has a spectacular article in the National Journal that puts the whole "Plamegate" fiasco in perspective. Here is one of the juicer outtakes:

Signaling a possible defense strategy, Libby's attorneys filed papers in federal court on March 17 asserting that he had not intentionally deceived FBI agents and a federal grand jury while answering questions about Plame because her role was only "peripheral" to potentially more serious questions regarding the Bush administration's use of intelligence in the prewar debate. "The media conflagration ignited by the failure to find [weapons of mass destruction] in Iraq and in part by Mr. Wilson's criticism of the administration, led officials within the White House, the State Department, and the CIA to blame each other, publicly and in private, for faulty prewar intelligence about Iraq's WMD capabilities," Libby's attorneys said in court papers.

What's this? The "I could have done something much, *much* worse defense"? The "Yeah, I engaged in pooch screwery, but only because much heavier shit was going on defense"?

I'm amazed that anyone who claims to be a conservative can have anything to do with W and his posse, much less vote for them. A vote in 2004 for W was a bum wipe with the Constitution. Bill Clinton was ten times the conservative that W could ever be, and that's just a damn fact.

Ambrose's Antidote: ANOINT

ANOINT, v.t. To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.

  As sovereigns are anointed by the priesthood,
  So pigs to lead the populace are greased good.

Judibras

daily dose of w

Anyway, I'm so thankful, and so gracious. I'm gracious that my brother Jeb is concerned about the hemisphere as well.

GWB
4 Jun 2001
During a visit to Miami and while appearing with his brother, Jeb, the Governor of Florida.

Francis Fukuyama: I'm No Founding Fuck-Up

The American Prospect says that Fukuyama wants out.

Andy Card Victim of Rove-Libby Infighting?

Wild ass guess: Card's departure has to do with the reported infighting between Libby and Rove. At some point the PNAC ideologues were going to slam into the toady politicos like W and Rove. Libby was one of the original signatories to the PNAC Statement of Principles, along with this rogues gallery:

Elliott Abrams
Gary Bauer
William J. Bennett
Jeb Bush
Dick Cheney
Eliot A. Cohen
Midge Decter
Paula Dobriansky
Steve Forbes
Aaron Friedberg
Francis Fukuyama
Frank Gaffney
Fred C. Ikle
Donald Kagan
Zalmay Khalilzad
I. Lewis Libby
Norman Podhoretz
Dan Quayle
Peter W. Rodman
Stephen P. Rosen
Henry S. Rowen
Donald Rumsfeld
Vin Weber
George Weigel
Paul Wolfowitz

They're a pretty motley bunch; the Founding Fuck-Ups of post-Saddam Iraq.

When you get a chance some time, read Rebuilding America's Defenses [PDF]. It was so bald faced and revolutionary that they knew no one could by it at face value so they let out this little sigh on page 51:

Further, the process of transformation, even if it brings revolutionary change, is likely to be a long one, absent some catastrophic and catalyzing event a like a new Pearl Harbor.

Thank you UBL! From all your friends at the PNAC!

Ambrose's Antidote: AMNESTY

AMNESTY, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.

daily dose of w

Even though we're at war, even though we're at recession, the State of our Union has never been stronger.

GWB
30 Jan 2002
Speaking in Winston-Salem, NC the day after giving his State of the Union speech to Congress. Source: CNN.

Nice doublespeak from the C&C!

Ambrose's Antidote: AMBITION

AMBITION, n. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.

daily dose of w

It's about past seven in the evening here, so we're actually in different time lines.

GWB
30 Jan 2001
The President was speaking to Philippine President Macapagal Arroyos. He was in Washington, D.C., she was in Manila. As reported by the New York Times.

Your Hammer Sucks

What's that?

Your hammer. It sucks.

Whaddya mean?

I mean... it sucks.

Uh... there. 16 penny nail driven with a nice dimple one tap one whack. This is a sweet hammer.

No it's not. It sucks. It can't solder circuits.

What?

It won't cut wood, and it's not too good as a level. If you could cut wood with it, and use it as a level, then it wouldn't suck so much.

Yeah... OK. You're right... the hammer sucks. If you'll excuse me, I've got nails to drive with my suck-ass hammer.

Ambrose's Antidote: AMBIDEXTROUS

AMBIDEXTROUS, adj. Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.

daily dose of w

It's important for people to know that I'm the president of everybody.

GWB
14 Jan 2005
Aboard Air Force One

Ambrose's Antidote: ALTAR

ALTAR, n. The place whereupon the priest formerly raveled out the small intestine of the sacrificial victim for purposes of divination and cooked its flesh for the gods. The word is now seldom used, except with reference to the sacrifice of their liberty and peace by a male and a female tool.

  They stood before the altar and supplied
  The fire themselves in which their fat was fried.
  In vain the sacrifice! -- no god will claim
  An offering burnt with an unholy flame.

M.P. Nopput

daily dose of w

I suspect that had my dad not been president, he'd be asking the same questions: How'd your meeting go with so-and-so? How did you feel when you stood up in front of the people for the State of the Union Address --- State of the Budget Address --- whatever you call it.

GWB
9 Mar 2001
From an interview with the Washington Post.

A Useful Windows Utility

... would be the "reboot all clients and servers" command. When one wedges, they all wedge.

A novice was trying to fix a broken Lisp machine by turning the power off and on.

Knight, seeing what the student was doing, spoke sternly: "You cannot fix a machine by just power-cycling it with no understanding of what is going wrong."

Knight turned the machine off and on.

The machine worked.

Ambrose's Antidote: ALONE

ALONE, adj. In bad company.

  In contact, lo! the flint and steel,
  By spark and flame, the thought reveal
  That he the metal, she the stone,
  Had cherished secretly alone.

Booley Fito

daily dose of w

John, we're going to get a good bill. I mean, one of the things I've learned is not to try to negotiate with you or me on national TV.

GWB
25 Apr 2001
Comment made during interview with CNN's John King.

Ambrose's Antidote: ALLIGATOR

ALLIGATOR, n. The crocodile of America, superior in every detail to the crocodile of the effete monarchies of the Old World. Herodotus says the Indus is, with one exception, the only river that produces crocodiles, but they appear to have gone West and grown up with the other rivers. From the notches on his back the alligator is called a sawrian.

daily dose of w

I hope to get a sense of, should I be fortunate enough to be the president, how my administration will react to the Middle East.

GWB
12 Oct 2000
From comments made in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

Wisdom from David Parnas

Don't know the veracity, but this is what fortune attached to an outgoing email:

Whenever anyone says, "theoretically," they really mean, "not really."
  -- Dave Parnas

I've been getting some "it should work this way -- theoretically!" lately...

OpenOffice Equations Don't Completely Suck

I was pleasantly surprised by the equation editor in OpenOffice. At first, I thought I was in some sort of menu hell, but after I got the first couple of items in place, I was able to hack rat-free. Yea! It's even a little TeXy:

left [ stack{x # y # z} right ] =
   left [ stack{dx # dy # dz} right ] 
 + left [ stack{1+s # rz # -ry} 
          stack{-rz # 1+s # rx} 
          stack{ry # -rx # 1+s} right ]
   left [ stack{x' # y' # z'} right ]

Ambrose's Antidote: ALLIANCE

ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

daily dose of w

I've got a record, a record that is conservative and a record that is compassionated.

GWB
2 Mar 2000
As quoted by the New York Times.

Stupid OpenOffice Stunts

I'm using TWiki to keep notes, do quick formatting for ripping out decent looking PDF files and the like. I've started battling with Open Office to communicate with those who prefer PowerPoint and the like. So, thems that know me know that the first thing I'm going to do is design some sort of template so I can punt having to think about how it looks, and everything will be in some attractive and useful format. However, this conflicts with my innate desire to leave word processors be -- that' just time I'd rather be spending elsewhere (e.g., emacs). Anyway, in trying to strike a balance, I've gotten where I can take a twiki print page, do some html wrangling, and make a file that can be successfully inserted to new file created from an OO template. However, if a header follows a list, numbering gets thrown off and you're doomed doomed doomed. So, the html mangler inserts text between the list and the header that later needs deletion in OO, and the import goes fine. Well, if not fine, better.

Ambrose's Antidote: ALLEGIANCE

ALLEGIANCE, n.

  This thing Allegiance, as I suppose,
  Is a ring fitted in the subject's nose,
  Whereby that organ is kept rightly pointed
  To smell the sweetness of the Lord's anointed.

G.J.

daily dose of w

I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves.

GWB
21 Sep 2003
Washington, D.C.

Ambrose's Antidote: ALLAH

ALLAH, n. The Mahometan Supreme Being, as distinguished from the Christian, Jewish, and so forth.

  Allah's good laws I faithfully have kept,
  And ever for the sins of man have wept;
      And sometimes kneeling in the temple I
  Have reverently crossed my hands and slept.

Junker Barlow

For penetrating analysis, see WWGD.

daily dose of w

Look, this is a man. He's got great numbers. He talks about numbers. I'm beginning to think not only did he invent the Internet, but he invented the calculator.

GWB
3 Oct 2000
First Presidential Debate. Boston, Massachusetts.

I email the dose out to a small group of folks, and I just added an automatic random fortune cookie signature. Today was the first deployment, and the first fortune is appropriate:

We're overpaying him, but he's worth it. -Samuel Goldwyn

Assignment Operator = Considered Braindead

The more I think about it, the more I dislike the use of = for an assignment operator. I suppose in the old days when terseness was almost essential it made sense, or was at least understood to be a sensible compromise. But modern languages should punt it. From the time we're wee tykes we write = to mean "equal"; the stuff on the left of the = is the same as the stuff on the right. So, the first time you see:

  a = a + 1

you think (at least, you ought to):

  a - a = 1
  0 = 1

resulting in a hearty WTF? Of course, you get used to it quickly. Kinda. Sorta. Here is how hideous it's gotten:

  If foo = 0 Then
    foo = 1
  End If

That's Visual Basic. Bletch. Defenders pipe up with "but it eliminates a whole class of errors!" While true in a narrow, twisted sense, this defense is beside the point: = shouldn't be an assignment operator in the first place. What should be? I really don't care. Either of these would be fine:

  a := 3
  b <- 4

Hell, even this would be OK by me:

  c @ 5

We can return = to its rightful, mathematically-meaningful place, and we should.

Ask Dr Aybabtu: Interview Question Stumps VB Programmer

Dear Dr Aybabtu,

I recently had an interview with a company that was very strange. They asked me to write a function to reverse a string. I told them that there was a function called StrReverse in VB. Then they asked me to write it in VB 5, which doesn't have StrReverse, and that didn't make any sense to me. They thanked me for coming in and that was that. I haven't heard anything back from them. What do you think happened?

VBWiz


Dear VBWiz,

Dr Aybabtu doubts that you'll be hearing from that company any time soon, but Dr Aybabtu might be wrong. In the mean time, you might want to download Cygwin and learn how to do stupid things on purpose with C. C makes it very easy to do stupid things, so the operative concept is stupid on purpose. What do I mean? Let's take a variation on your problem. Let's interpret a string as a stream of bytes. How might we write a function that reverses bytes read in on an input stream? The UNIX program tac does just this. Here's a stupid way to write it:

#include <stdio.h>

int
main() {
  int b = getchar();
  if (EOF != b) {
    main();
    putchar(b);
  }
  return 0;
}

Writing stupid functions can be great fun! Let's reverse some bytes held in a char array:

#include <stdio.h>

int
main(int c, char *v[]) {
  (*v[1] ? ({
    char c = *v[1]++;
    main(0, v);
    return putchar(c);
  }) : ({
    return 0;
  }));
}

This is especially nice, because it will segfault if you don't give it something to chew on. That's OK, because we're being stupid on purpose. Let's gussy that code up a bit with some macros:

#include <stdio.h>

#define IF(x) ((x) ? ({
#define ELSE }) : ({
#define ENDIF }))

int
main() {
  int b = getchar();
  IF (EOF != b)
    main();
    return putchar(b);
  ELSE
    return 0;
  ENDIF;
}

Pretty sexy stuff. The extra parens in the IF and ENDIF definitions are there to let me do even more stupid stuff, but we'll leave that for some other time. Now for some spectacularly stupid stuff that will actually consume a string and produce a string in the traditional char* sense:

#include <stdio.h>
#include <stdlib.h> // malloc and friends
#include <string.h> // memmove

typedef struct {
  void* car; 
  void* cdr; 
} Pair;

#define CAR(p) (((Pair*)p)->car)
#define CDR(p) (((Pair*)p)->cdr)

Pair*
cons(void* car, void* cdr) {
  Pair* p = (Pair*)malloc(sizeof(Pair));
  p->car = car;
  p->cdr = cdr;
  return p;
}

char
PTOC(void* p) {
  return (int)p;
}

void*
ITOP(int i) {
  return (void*)i;
}

typedef struct {
  char *s;
  size_t len;
  size_t alloc;
} String;

#define STR(x)  (((String*)x)->s)
#define LEN(s) (((String*)s)->len)
#define ALLOC(s) (((String*)s)->alloc)

String*
new_string(size_t alloc) {
  String* s = malloc(sizeof(String));
  STR(s) = malloc(alloc * sizeof(char));
  ALLOC(s) = alloc;
  LEN(s) = 0;
  return s;
}

void
alloc_check(String* s) {
  if ((LEN(s)+1) == ALLOC(s)) {
    ALLOC(s) *= 2;
    realloc(STR(s), (size_t)ALLOC(s));
  }
}

#define STRCHK(s)       if (NULL == s) {          s = new_string(256);  }

String*
appendchar(char c, String* s) {
  STRCHK(s);
  alloc_check(s);
  STR(s)[LEN(s)++] = c;
  STR(s)[LEN(s)] = '\0';
  return s;
}

String*
list_to_string(Pair* p, String* s) {
  if (NULL == p)
    return s;
  else
    return list_to_string(CDR(p), appendchar(PTOC(CAR(p)), s));
}

char*
rev(const char* s, Pair* p) {
  if (0 == *s)
    return STR(list_to_string(p, NULL));
  else
    return rev(s+1, cons(ITOP(*s), p));
}

int
main() {
  puts(rev("abcdefg", NULL));
  return 0;
}

Not stupid enough? How's this:

String*
pushchar(char c, String* s) {
  STRCHK(s);
  alloc_check(s);
  memmove(STR(s)+1, STR(s), sizeof(char)*LEN(s));
  LEN(s)++;
  STR(s)[0] = c;
  return s;
}

char*
rev2(const char* r, String* s) {
  if (0 == *r)
    return STR(s);
  else
    return rev2(r+1, pushchar(*r, s));
}

All of that stuff compiles without error or warning with gcc and CFLAGS = -Wall -pedantic -std=c99, except the ?: tomfoolery. The more stupid things you can do the better, as long as you know you're being stupid and you're being stupid on purpose. Plus, you'll gain an appreciation for high-level languages and Greenpun's Tenth Rule that's been cultivated bottom-up.

HTH,

Dr Aybabtu

Ambrose's Antidote: ALIEN

ALIEN, n. An American sovereign in his probationary state.

daily dose of w

I don't see many shades of gray in the war and terror. Either you're with us or you're against us. And it's a struggle between good and it's a struggle between evil.

GWB
8 Feb 2002
Speaking in Denver, CO at the 2002 Cattle Industry Annual Convention.
(Source: C-SPAN)

Ambrose's Antidote: ALDERMAN

ALDERMAN, n. An ingenious criminal who covers his secret thieving with a pretence of open marauding.

daily dose of w

My opponent keeps saying I give too much tax relief to the top 1%, but he hadn't heard my latest proposal. The bottom 99% will do well when they get to split Dick Cheney's stock options.

GWB
19 Oct 2000
Joke delivered at the Al Smith Memorial dinner in New York.

Ambrose's Antidote: AIR

AIR, n. A nutritious substance supplied by a bountiful Providence for the fattening of the poor.

daily dose of w

I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating.

GWB
3 Apr 2000
As reported in U.S. News & World Report.

Ambrose's Antidote: AIM

AIM, n. The task we set our wishes to.

  "Cheer up!  Have you no aim in life?"
      She tenderly inquired.
  "An aim?  Well, no, I haven't, wife;
      The fact is -- I have fired."

G.J.

daily dose of w

I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.

GWB
27 Jan 2000
During a campaign speech in Nashua, New Hampshire.

When a classic resurfaces from time to time, it's nice to sit back and savor it. One of the all time greatest.

Ambrose's Antidote: AGITATOR

AGITATOR, n. A statesman who shakes the fruit trees of his neighbors -- to dislodge the worms.

daily dose of w

I think we ought to have high -- high standards and set by -- by agencies that rely upon science, not by what may feel good or what sound good.

GWB
15 Jan 2000
From Republican Debate in Des Moines, Iowa.

And none of that godless "theory" of evolution, ya hear now, huh?

How to Spot a Christian (Type H)

There are may varieties of Christian and subclassing the species can be a challenging and complex task. Christians that adhere to teachings of Jesus are rare and those that strive to understand why they might want to follow those teachings are rarer still. The Type H is one of the most prominent Christian varieties. It is easily distinguished from the rarer varieties, in that it has little to do with the teachings of Jesus, and even less interest, although it likes to proclaim that it does. The Type H is distinguished by:

• A preference that tax money go to kill foreigners rather than help poor people


• A belief that poverty is simply a character flaw and has nothing to do with them


• Rigid application of the death penalty is a good thing and probably should get expanded in scope


• Takes selected passages from the Old Testament out of context as its moral compass

Typically, the Type H is docile enough, but can be dangerous when provoked. If you're a young black man, you'll probably automatically provoke the Type H, unless you're a famous professional athlete with a reputation for being nice. Stick to the weather or sports, and you should be fine. There is nothing to be gained by engaging the Type H in anything weightier.

Ambrose's Antidote: AGE

AGE, n. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that we still cherish by reviling those that we have no longer the enterprise to commit.

daily dose of w

If you're sick and tired of the politics and cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

GWB
16 Feb 2000
Speaking at Hilton Head, South Carolina during presidential campaign.

Ambrose's Antidote: AFRICAN

AFRICAN, n. A nigger that votes our way.

daily dose of w

My pan plays down an unprecedented amount of our national debt.

GWB
27 Feb 2001
From a speech concerning the proposed federal budget.

Even though he muffed the quip, it captures the essence of the Contract on America hypocrisy. Bald faced lie. Read my lips: Biggest - debt - ever. Biggest - deficit - ever.

Ambrose's Antidote: AFFLICTION

AFFLICTION, n. An acclimatizing process preparing the soul for another and bitter world.

daily dose of w

I think it's important for those of us in a position of responsibility to be firm in sharing our experiences, to understand that the babies out of wedlock is a very difficult chore for mom and baby alike ... I believe we ought to say there is a different alternative than the culture that is proposed by people like Miss Wolf in society ... And, you know, hopefully, condoms will work, but it hasn't worked.

GWB
21 Nov 1999
From an appearance on Meet the Press.

Flagr is cool

Flagr is pretty slick. The idea is that you can make a flag -- kind of a geographic bookmark -- by sending a text message with your cell phone. It's going to be interesting to see how they are going to turn a buck, but I wish them well, it's cool.

This Bike is a Pipe Bomb

This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb as tracked by Wikipedia. The TBIAPB timeline doesn't right quite right, but maybe it is. I'll have to an expert dig into it...

War on Common Sense

I've got to start ranting about this. Will fill in details later. Must determine how true: What's wrong with the gummint? Republicans, is this *really* what you voted for?

Ambrose's Antidote: AFFIANCED

AFFIANCED, pp. Fitted with an ankle-ring for the ball-and-chain.

daily dose of w

We can outcompete with anybody.

GWB
11 Mar 2004
Bay Shore, New York.

Ambrose's Antidote: ADVICE

ADVICE, n. The smallest current coin.

  "The man was in such deep distress,"
  Said Tom, "that I could do no less
  Than give him good advice."  Said Jim:
  "If less could have been done for him
  I know you well enough, my son,
  To know that's what you would have done."

Jebel Jocordy

daily dose of w

I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves.

GWB
21 Sep 2003
Washington, D.C.

Ambrose's Antidote: ADORE

ADORE, v.t. To venerate expectantly.

daily dose of w

They're seeking chemical, biological, and nucular weapons.

GWB
6 Nov 2001

Speaking from the White House via satellite to Central European leaders gathered in Warsaw, the President is referring to the goals of the Al-Qaida terrorist group. Aired on ABC Evening News.

Ambrose's Antidote: ADMONITION

ADMONITION, n. Gentle reproof, as with a meat-axe. Friendly warning.

  Consigned by way of admonition,
  His soul forever to perdition.

Judibras

daily dose of w

The government is not the surplus's money, Vice President.

GWB
5 Nov 2000
From The Washington Post.

You think just because the words are garbled in his mouth they're garbled in his mind?

Ambrose's Antidote:

ADMIRATION, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

By God, she reminds me of me! -- Rooster Cogburn

daily dose of w

I want you to know that farmers are not going to be secondary thoughts to a Bush administration. They will be in the forethought of our thinking.

GWB
10 Aug 2000
Salinas, California

Ambrose's Antidote: ADMIRAL

ADMIRAL, n. That part of a war-ship which does the talking while the figure-head does the thinking.

daily dose of w

They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program.

GWB
2 Nov 2000
The presidential candidate speaking in St. Charles, Missouri. Reported by USA Today.

He says stuff that makes sense in the future he envisions...

Ambrose's Antidote: ADMINISTRATION

ADMINISTRATION, n. An ingenious abstraction in politics, designed to receive the kicks and cuffs due to the premier or president. A man of straw, proof against bad-egging and dead-catting.

daily dose of w

It was just inebriating what Midland [Oil Company] was all about then.

GWB
Comment made in a 1994 interview. Quoted in First Son, by Bill Minutaglio

Ambrose's Antidote: ADHERENT

ADHERENT, n. A follower who has not yet obtained all that he expects to get.

daily dose of w

If the terriers and bariffs are torn down, this economy will grow.

GWB
7 Jan 2000
Spoken in Rochester, New York during presidential campaign.

Ambrose's Antidote: ADDER

ADDER, n. A species of snake. So called from its habit of adding funeral outlays to the other expenses of living.

daily dose of w

I've supported the administration in Colombia. I think it's important for us to be training Colombians in that part of the world. The hemisphere is in our interest to have a peaceful Colombia.

GWB
11 Oct 2000
Presidential Debate in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

I hope your tax cuts were worth it.