Dear Dr Aybabtu,
Like I'm totally (!!!) going to DragonCon (first time!!!!), and, like, there is this totally hot chick. Like, she would be a 25 charisma elf babe in a Tomb Raider outfit before the airbrushing... ;) ;) But she is totally like a hacker and I, like, asked her about games, and always says something like "roguelike" and she once heard her say to a hacker friend of hers "How can you call a language that has no closures and tail-call elimination a real language?" Like what does that mean? Is she just fucking with me?!!?!! Like, I'm totally into PS2, but I don't know anything about what those hackers do? What should I do?
Two Hands on Two Joysticks in Kennesaw
Dear Two Hands,
I've written GeekSpeak for 19 years now, and I can't relate to anything that you've said. I once barely defeated a super elite gamer guy with a gung fu simulator on a PS2, but discovered after the "victory" the dude had passed out dead drunk some 30 minutes earlier. However, I totally know where your hacker friend is coming from. She's not fucking with you, and she probably never will. I think I can still help you, if only in a small way. I'm going to give it to you step-by-step, because you PS2 folks, well, yeah. If you've got a computer with some sort of internet access, start there. Otherwise get thee to the library. You (emphasis on you) don't have time to get Linux, BSD, or HURD on L4 up and going. (Note: If she says the word GNU, say: "It would have been funnier if they called L4 L7. I love L7! L7 would put a HURD on you! HA! HA!" (practice in a mirror before trying to pull this one off, please)). On second though, there is no way you can pull this off. Not that, nor the other thing, either. Best thing you can do is say "I played nethack once and it was really cool. I got killed by cockatrice in the Mines of Moria. Have you ever ascended? I wish that nethack was extensible in scheme. Oh yeah, don't forget the "!!?!!!"
Good luck, kid.
Dr Aybabtu
If you have a question for Dr Aybabtu, please pass it along!
No comments:
Post a Comment