daily dose of w

Those of us who spent time in the agricultural sector and in the heartland, we understand how unfair the death penalty is---the death tax is. I don't want to get rid of the death penalty, just the death tax.

GWB
28 Feb 2001

Translation:

Welfare for old fat rich white men: Goooooood!
Welfare for young poor black women: Baaaaaaad!
Severe penalties for old fat rich white men: Baaaaaaaad!
Severe penalties for young poor black man: Gooooooooood!

How many farms were "lost" to the estate tax? At what rate were they lost? How does this compare to real estate development and assimilation into large corporate farms?

daily dose of w

But younger workers, in order to make sure the system exists tomorrow, younger workers ought to be able to take some of your own money and invest it in safe securities to get a better rate of return on that money.

GWB
11 Oct 2000
Presidential Debate in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

Translation:

In order for younger workers to buy into the notion of destroying social security as a Federal anti-poverty insurance program, we have to appeal to greed and the promise of the dot-com returns like those realized by my friends, like Ken "Kenny Boy" Lay.

daily dose of w

Today when I landed, I met a fellow named Irving Hall. Where are you, Irving? Right there -- stand up. Now you can sit down. Irving Hall works for our government at the laboratories, the high tech -- Sandia -- I think you worked there, didn't you, Irving? Yes. He worked there, and came time to retire and his boss said, what are you going to do, Irving? He said, why don't you make a difference -- I believe that's what your boss told me -- what you told me your boss said. See, he met me at the airplane. I'd never met Irving before.

GWB
26 March 2004
Albuquerque, New Mexico.

I'd bet Irving would follow him through the firey pits of Hell.

daily dose of w

Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.

GWB
18 Oct 2000
During visit to La Crosse, Wisconsin.

I think this has gone out before, but since it cracked me up this morning, I hope it cracks you up, too.

daily dose of w

By mentoring a child, you shape the character of a child. And it's a high calling in life, because that influence reaches to eternity.

GWB
29 Oct 2003
Dallas, Texas.

and beyond!

daily dose of w

My opponent seems to think that Social Security is a federal program. I believe that money is yours and you should be able to invest it yourself.

GWB
17 Oct 2000
Third Presidential Debate --- St. Louis, Missouri (Note: Social Security _is_ a federal program.)

Quote reveals a fundamental lack of understanding of insurance and risk, or a profound indifference.

daily dose of w

... deteriate (deteriorate) ... hayenous (heinous) ... vented (vetted) ...

GWB
14 May 2001
Mispronunciations committed during one informal press conference at the White House.

This whole NSA spy thing has got me thinking... do you think that W will nominate Linda Tripp for the Supreme Court?

daily dose of w

One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.

GWB
3 Jan 2000
Quoted in U.S. News & World Report.

daily dose of w

The American people wants a president that appeals to the angels.

GWB
August 2000
From speech delivered at the GOP Convention.

I'd settle for one that appeals to reason...

daily dose of w

I'm also honored to be here with the Speaker of the House -- just happens to be from the state of Illinois. I'd like to describe the speaker as a trustworthy man. He's the kind of fellow who says when he gives you his word he means it. Sometimes that doesn't happen all the time in the political process.

GWB
6 Mar 2001
Speaking in Chicago, Illinois.

daily dose of w

I've changed my style somewhat, as you know. I'm less, I pontificate less, although it may be hard to tell it from this show. And I'm more interacting with people.

GWB
13 Feb 2000
From NBC's Meet The Press.

Good grief... he has to do it on purpose, right?

I don't recall the show, but I can see the "heh, heh..." after hard to tell it from this show. I can also see Russert beaming drooling adoration, lusting for his tax cuts.

daily dose of w

It is incredibly presumptive for somebody who has not yet earned his party's nomination to start speculating about vice presidents.

GWB
22 Oct 1999
Comment made while visiting Keene, New Hampshire.

daily dose of w

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

GWB
11 Jan 2000
From a speech delivered in Florence, South Carolina, and as reported in the Los Angeles Times on January 14, 2000.

Ahh... one of the classics! This is why shows go into syndication... there is still pleasure in the occasional repeat of a good episode!

daily dose of w

It's going to require numerous IRA agents.

GWB
10 Oct 2000
The presidential candidate commenting on Vice President Gore's proposed tax plan (meaning to say IRS -- Internal Revenue Service agents).

daily dose of w

I think we need not only to eliminate the tollbooth to the middle class, I think we should knock down the tollbooth.

GWB
1 Feb 2000
From speech in Nashua, New Hampshire. Quoted in the New York Times.

daily dose of w

Reporter: "The European Union and Japan have filed a challenge in the WTO against a rule in the Agriculture Appropriations bill that would allow steel companies to receive money from antidumping duties."

Bush: "Say again now?"

GWB
22 Dec 2000
Spoken during a press conference held by the president-elect.

daily dose of w

Mr. Vice President, in all due respect, it is -- I'm not sure 80% of the people get the death tax. I know this: 100% will get it if I'm the president.

GWB
17 Oct 2000
From Presidential Debate in St. Louis, Missouri.

daily dose of w

I think we ought to have high --- high standards and set by --- by agencies that rely upon science, not by what may feel good or what sound good.

George W. Bush
15 Jan 2000
From Republican Debate in Des Moines, Iowa.

daily dose of w

For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it.

GWB
14 May 2001

daily dose of w

This campaign not only hears the voices of the entrepreneurs and the farmers and the entrepreneurs, we hear the voices of those struggling to get ahead.

GWB
21 Aug 2000
From campaign stop in Des Moines, Iowa.

daily dose of w

So, on behalf of a well-oiled unit of people who came together to serve something greater than themselves, congratulations.

GWB
31 May 2001
White House ceremony honoring the University of Nebraska women's volleyball team, the 2001 NCAA Champions.

daily dose of w

See,
we love
we love freedom.
That's what they didn't
understand.
They hate things;
we love things.
They act out of hatred;
we don't seek
revenge,
we seek
justice
out of love.

GWB
29 Aug 2002
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

daily dose of w

I thought we ought to raise the age at which juveniles can have a gun.

GWB
18 Oct 2000
From speech in St. Louis, Missouri.

daily dose of w

There are some monuments where the land is so widespread, they just encompass as much as possible. And the integral part of the -- the precious part, so to speak -- I guessall land is precious, but the part that the people uniformly would not want to spoil, will not be despoiled. But there are parts of the monument lands where we can explore without affecting the overall environment.

GWB
13 Mar 2001
Comment made while speaking to the press. Washington, D.C.

daily dose of w

If he's -- the inference is that somehow he thinks slavery is a -- is a noble institution. I would -- I would strongly reject that assumption, that John Ashcroft is a open-minded, inclusive person.

GWB
14 Jan 2001
From the NBC Nightly News with Tom Brokaw.

daily dose of w

There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead.

GWB
11 May 2001
Washington, D.C.

daily dose of w

The only thing I know about Slovakia is what I learned firsthand from your foreign minister, who came to Texas.

GWB
22 Jun 1999

Governor Bush was referring to his meeting with the _prime_ minister of _Slovenia_ (Janez Drnovsek). Comment made to a Slovak journalist. Reported by the Knight Ridder News Service.

daily dose of w

For NASA, space is still a high priority.

GWB
5 Sep 1993

As you can see, he's been at this for a while...

daily dose of w

I made the decision to name the Justice Department building after Robert Kennedy because he's deservant.

GWB
20 Nov 2001
Speaking to reporters in the Oval Office about his decision to name the Justice Dept. building after former U.S. Attorney General, Robert Kennedy.
Aired on CNN.

daily dose of w

First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill.

GWB
19 May 2003
Washington, D.C.

daily dose of w

I'm hopeful. I know there is a lot of ambition in Washington, obviously. But I hope the ambitious realize that they are more likely to succeed with success as opposed to failure.

GWB
18 Jan 2001
Comments made to the Associated Press.

daily dose of w

My mom often used to say, "The trouble with W" -- although she didn't put thatto words.

GWB
3 Apr 2002

This one popped up as my morning login fortune cookie. It must be destiny...

daily dose of w

We'll let our friends be the peace keepers and the great country called America will be the pacemakers.

GWB
6 Sep 2000
Candidate Bush speaking in Houston, Texas.

I know this one went out earlier, but it still cracks me up...

daily dose of w

We need to do what we need to do to get the bodies out of there, if they're there.

GWB
14 Feb 2001
Referring to the tragic sinking of a Japanese fishing boat by a U.S. submarine near Hawaii. Reported in the Chicago Tribune.

daily dose of w

A family in Allentown, Pennsylvania -- I campaigned with them the other day... Under my plan, they get $1,800 of tax relief. Under Vice President Gore's plan, they get $145 of tax relief. Now you tell me who stands on the side of the fence.

GWB
3 Oct 2000
First Presidential Debate in Boston, Massachusetts.

daily dose of w

I don't want to win? If that were the case, why the heck am I on the bus 16 hours a day, shaking thousands of hands, giving hundreds of speeches, getting pillared in the press and cartoons and still staying on message to win?

GWB
28 Feb 2000
Quoted in Newsweek magazine.

daily dose of w

We like living in the White House. It's a nice place to live.

GWB
25 Aug 2001
Speaking to a reporter at his Crawford, TX ranch.

daily dose of w

Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines as we used to know it.

GWB
17 Oct 2000
Comments from St. Louis, Missouri Presidential Debate.

daily dose of w

If I answer questions every time you ask one, expectations would be high. And as you know, I like to keep expectations low.

GWB
10 Dec 2002
Washington, D.C.

daily dose of w

We're laying the groundwork for a national campaign -- a national campaign
that I believe will result in a great victory in November 2002.

GWB
30 Jun 2003 -- a year after the predicted victory.
Tampa, Florida.

daily dose of w

Larry King: Vice President Gore said that: "If you lopped off the top 1% that
you are giving tax relief ... you could pay for the cost of every
other program."

Bush: "Oh, I don't -- you know, I hadn't -- I'm not so sure. I'm not quick in
my mind at math, but I don't believe in trying to pick and choose
winners when it comes to tax relief."

GWB
26 Sep 2000
Appearing on CNN's Larry King Live.

daily dose of w

The march to war hurt the economy. Laura reminded me a while ago that remember what was on the TV screens -- she calls me, 'George W.' -- 'George W.' I call her, 'First Lady.' No, anyway -- she said, we said, march to war on our TV screen.

GWB
11 Mar 2004
Bay Shore, New York.

daily dose of w

I quit drinking in 1986 and haven't had a drop since then. And it wasn't because of a government program, by the way -- in my particular case -- because I had a higher call.

GWB
3 Nov 2000
Reported by CNN. Comment made in West Allis, Wisconsin.

daily dose of w

I don't feel like I've got all that much too important to say on the kind of big national issues.

GWB
15 Sep 2000
Spoken on ABC's 20/20.

daily dose of w

We have practically banished religious values and religious institutions from the public square and constructed a discountfort zone for even discussing our faith in public settings.

GWB
9 Sep 2000
From a speech in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Unfortunately, you read it right.

William Odom: Get Out and Fast

Via David Corn, William Odom challenges conventional thinking on getting out of Iraq, and fast. Quote:

The wisest course for journalists might be to begin sustained investigations of why leading Democrats have failed so miserably to challenge the US occupation of Iraq. The first step, of course, is to establish as conventional wisdom the fact that the war was never in the US interest and has not become so. It is such an obvious case to make that I find it difficult to believe many pundits and political leaders have not already made it repeatedly.

daily dose of w

I want to reduce our own nuclear capacities to the level commiserate with keeping the peace.

GWB
23 Oct 2000
Spoken in Des Moines, Iowa during campaign address.

The Awful Truth

W is going to pardon everyone.

Sorry.

It had to be said.

Maybe I can start thinking about something else.

Help me out with this analogy,,,

So Judy Miller tells the Senate what they should do to advance the cause of journalists. Excuse me? Asking Judith Miller about journalism and the professional practice thereof, is kinda like asking Michael Jackson in the latest child care techiques. Now someone has used this analogy. Did I see it on the SAT? Where did it come from? Please help. Anyway, if you need opinions about journalism what about asking Jim Romenesko, Jay Rosen, Dan Gillmor, or the cats at Betty the Crow? What about me? Jesus Food Machinery Corporation, Jayson Blair did less damage to the Grey Lady and journalism than did Judith Miller! Um. NYT? It's 4th and 40 and your're sitting a quarter-yard out of your own end zone. Now is a good time to punt. Or take a safety. But get out.

daily dose of w

This is what I'm good at. I like meeting people, my fellow citizens. I like interfacing with them.

GWB
8 Sep 2000
Comment made at campaign stop in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

But I *reeeely* like initiating unprovoked wars of aggression and cutting taxes for me and my Daddy's friends! Huh, huh... huh, huh...

Republicans *used* to talk like this...

Drink in the wisdom of Larry Wilkerson. He's hangin' with Steven Clemmons at the New America Foundation. It's a couple of hours worth, but, my, oh my... Wilkerson is ex-Army, admirer of GHWB and Eisenhower, former Chief of Staff for Colin Powell. Probably *not* a The Nation subscriber, if you catch my drift... He breaks it all down to... lack of transparency and inability to listen to divergent viewpoints. Good stuff.

Bono Tilting at Windmills, or Scoring a Free Lunch?

I believe that there are few people who care less about the poor than W. So, I can understand why Bono smooched my beautiful bride on multiple occasions. That's true, but non-sequitur, so I apologize. (Try an apology, W. Try something you've never done before.) OK, back on track. So what is Bono doing trying to talk some compassion into the least compassionate person I've ever imagined? Holy Rampant Baby Jesus! He's doing the christian thing! Pay attention W! He's practicing what you're (hypocritically) preaching!

daily dose of w

We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile.

GWB
21 Aug 2000
Comments from a campaign speech delivered in Des Moines, Iowa.

daily dose of w

Bush: "First of all, Cinco de Mayo is not the Independence Day. That's dieciseis de Septiembre."
Matthews: "What's that in English?"
Bush: "Fifteenth of September."

GWB
31 May 2000
Dieciseis de Septiembre is September 16. Speaking on MSNBC's Hardball With Chris Matthews.

Close enough for dubya work. Afghanistan, Taliban, al Queda, Iraq. It's all good.

daily dose of w

I think he needs to stand up and say if he thought the president were wrong on policy and issues, he ought to say where.

GWB
11 Aug 2000
Referring to Al Gore and Bill Clinton. From an interview with the Associated Press.

daily dose of w

Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better.

GWB
24 Sep 2001
In press conference with Canadian PM

I think I've posted this one earlier, but it's a classic...

daily dose of w

One word sums up probably the responsibility of any governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.

GWB
6 Dec 1993

You are the best governor ever! -- Harriet Miers

BEST EVAH!!!!

A little schmacky schmack,,,

Carole Coleman explains why she wanted to give W a little something upside his head. Not a very flattering portrait of our President.

DeLong's Econ History Primer

Econ 104 History of Econ.

daily dose of w

If you don't stand for anything, you don't stand for anything. If you don't stand for something, you don't stand for anything.

GWB
2 Nov 2000
Quoted by the Austin American-Statesman.

Don't take the Statesman's word for it... look here

Me talk pretty one day

Sorry, David, but I gotta snarf that to bring the rantzilla faithful the following from a super double secret source not close to the administration on policy. Behold from whence it comes! Thanks M!

daily dose of w

How do you know if you don't measure if you have a system that simply suckles kids through?

GWB
16 Feb 2000
Comment made in Beaufort, South Carolina.

Off that teat Jonny, it's Timmy's turn!
Aw, gee! Yes Ms. Wilson...

Um... Hello?

Murray Waas drops a bomb.

daily dose of w

We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans.

GWB
6 Sep 2000
From a speech delivered in Scranton, Pennsylvania.

We prefer the pull-it-out-of-your-ass school in Dubya World!

daily dose of w

We'll let our friends be the peace keepers and the great country called America will be the pacemakers.

GWB
6 Sep 2000
Candidate Bush speaking in Houston, Texas.

Big Dick and the Pacemakers would be a good name for a band.

Best smackdown evah?

Ouch!

daily dose of w

The point is, this is a way to help inoculate me about what has come and is coming.

GWB
2 Sep 2000
Referring to his campaign's anti-Gore advertising. From an interview with the New York Times.

daily dose of w

It was just inebriating what Midland [Oil Company] was all about then.

GWB
Comment made in a 1994 interview. Quoted in First Son, by Bill Minutaglio

Oldie but goodie, I'd say!

daily dose of w

Our nation must come together to unite.

GWB
4 Jun 2001
Remark made in Tampa, Florida.

He's a uniter...

Birthday Present for PSan?

Lister engine.

daily dose of w

I hope to get a sense of, should I be fortunate enough to be the president, how my administration will react to the Middle East.

GWB
12 Oct 2000
From comments made in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

Blow it up! Blow it all up! Freedom is on the march! Mission accomplished!

Good Advice from Brad DeLong

Whilest defending William Bennett's, Brad DeLong uncorked this bit of avice:

Never attempt a reductio ad absurdum argument on talk radio. You can't keep exact control over your phrasing in real time, and so somebody is bound to think you are endorsing the horrible absurdity that you are rejecting.

(And, while we're at it: never get involved in a land war in Asia; do not read My Pet Goat when death is on the line; never play poker with a man named 'Doc'; never accept a battle of wits where iocane powder is a factor; never blithely download and install a file from Microsoft without carefully, carefully researching what it will do beforehand; never get involved in an argument over Noam Chomsky; and never post about human genetics on you weblog.)

I see Brad has an appreciation for a certain fantastic movie...

daily dose of w

There's a huge trust. I see it all the time when people come up to me and say, 'I don't want you to let me down again.'

GWB
3 Oct 2000
Boston, Massachusetts

daily dose of w

Not over my dead body will they raise your taxes.

GWB
5 Jan 2002
Referring to Democrats opposed to the Administration's tax policy. Town Hall Meeting in Ontario, CA. (Source: C-SPAN)

daily dose of w

That's a chapter, the last chapter of the twentieth, twentieth, twenty-first century that most of us would rather forget. The last chapter of the twentieth century. This is the first chapter of the twenty-first century.

GWB
24 Oct 2000
Comment made by the presidential candidate in Arlinton Heights, Illinois.

daily dose of w

The explorationists are willing to only move equipment during the winter, which means they'll be on ice roads, and remove the equipment as the ice begins to melt, so that the fragile tundra is protected.

GWB
18 May 2001
From a speech made in Conestoga, Pennsylvania.

Get thee to Extreme Unction

Extreme Unction turned one. Check it out... a fun site, especially for those who read. Sailor!

daily dose of w

REPORTER: What do you think tribal sovereignty means in the 21st century, and how do we resolve conflicts between tribes and the federal and state governments?

BUSH: Yeah -- tribal sovereignty means that, it's sovereign. It's -- you're a -- you're a -- you've been given sovereignty, and you're -- viewed as a sovereign entity. [Laughter emanates from the audience]

REPORTER: Okay.

BUSH: And, therefore, the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between -- sovereign entities.

GWB
6 Aug 2004
Washington, D.C.

daily dose of w

I hope we get to the bottom of the answer. It's what I'm interested to know.

GWB
26 Apr 2000
The presidential candidate is referring to the Elian Gonzalez negotiations.

Talk like a Pirate, Type like a Pirate

I saw the Talk like a Pirate! stuff going around, but didn't get really jazzed until I found Type like a Pirate!

TerraGo

The company for which I work has gotten a makeover. LGI begat LGS which begat TerraGo.

daily dose of w

I think we agree, the past is over.

GWB
10 May 2000
The governor's comment after meeting with Senator John McCain. Quoted in the Dallas Morning News.

World's Suckiest Company Would Be...

Clear Channel *and* Ticket Master. Those evil sons of bitches are spamming me.

daily dose of w

Let me put it to you this way, I am not a revengeful person.

GWB
December 2000
From a Time magazine interview, published in the December 25, 2000 issue.

daily dose of w

They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program.

GWB
2 Nov 2000
The presidential candidate speaking in St. Charles, Missouri. Reported by USA Today. (Note: Social Security _is_ a federal program.)

Your number one source of the daily dose of w!

Don't believe me? Ask Google! The link goes to their new blog search.

daily dose of w

The best way to relieve families from time is to let them keep some of their own money.

GWB
13 Sep 2000
Comment made in Westminster, California.

Tax cuts prevent aging? What next?

daily dose of w

He has certainly earned a reputation as a fantastic mayor, because the results speak for themselves. I mean, New York's a safer place for him to be.

GWB
18 May 2000
Speaking on The Edge with Paula Zahn about New York City Mayor, Rudolph Giuliani.

Bad Science

More of the same at Bad Science.

Bad Science

Don't Dumb Me Down. Juicy quote: Statistics are what causes the most fear for reporters, and so they are usually just edited out, with interesting consequences.

daily dose of w

Well, it's an unimaginable honor to be the president during the Fourth of July of this country. It means what these words say, for starters. The great inalienable rights of our country. We're blessed with such values in America. And I -- it's -- I'm a proud man to be the nation based upon such wonderful values.

GWB
2 Jul 2001
Spoken during a visit to the Jefferson Memorial in Washington, D.C.

daily dose of w

Home is important. It's important to have a home.

GWB
18 Feb 2001
Comment made by the President in Crawford, Texas.

FEMA is important. It's important to have a FEMA.

The Onion v All Comers

God Outdoes Terrorists Yet Again. Key caption: FEMA representatives call out to survivors, "Show us your tits for emergency rations!" Key headline: Louisiana National Guard Offers Help By Phone From Iraq. No, wait! Key headline: Government Relief Workers Mosey In To Help. No, wait! Key headline: Bush Urges Victims To Gnaw On Bootstraps For Sustenance.

Key passage from Louisiana National Guard Offers Help By Phone:

"The soldiers wanted to know if they could call 911 for anyone, or perhaps send some water via FedEx," said Louisiana National Guard spokesman Lt. Col. Pete Schneider. The Guardsmen also "would love to send generators, rations, and Black Hawk helicopters for rescue missions," but, said Schneider, "we desperately need these in Iraq to stay alive."

Oy!

daily dose of w

"Well, they asked me of whether or not I'd meet with them."

GWB
16 Dec 1999
In response to a question from Larry King who inquired if the governor had been asked to speak to a gay republican group. From CNN's Larry King Live.

daily dose of w

Put the off button on.

GWB
14 Feb 2000
Advice to parents who have concerns about violence on television.

daily dose of w

We've got to end the process-oriented world of public schools.

GWB
20 Mar 2001

Says what he means with whack words to distract you.

Aaargh! Feebtard already coined!

A Top hair bands post has the one and, as of the time of posting, only google detected usage of feebtard on the whole dubya dubya dubya eenteernyet.

Top hair band according to poll? Whitesnake with 40% of the vote, followed by Poison with 30% and Motley Cr-doesnt-this-have-some-umlaut-or-soemthing-e with 20%. If those numbers seem as round as Barb Wire's boobies it because that each 10% corresponds to exactly one vote. 10 people took part.

duyba dose!

Just started reading my mang Dan Froomkin's PDB, when I see the dubya dose. In DC, on his way to Mobile

I'm looking forward to my trip down there

Wait for it... On arrival:

I'm not looking forward to this trip

I'm feeling a new word coming on... feebtard...

Ignoramus

Moby Thesaurus II by Grady Ward, 1.0:

abecedarian, alphabetarian, apprentice, articled clerk, ass,
beginner, boot, born fool, buffoon, catechumen, clown, dabbler,
debutant, dilettante, doodle, dullard, dullhead, dumbbell,
dummkopf, dummy, dunce, egregious ass, entrant, figure of fun,
fledgling, fool, freshman, greenhorn, greeny, idiot, illiterate,
illiterati, inductee, initiate, jackass, know-nothing, lowbrow,
lunatic, middlebrow, milksop, mooncalf, moron, neophyte, new boy,
newcomer, no scholar, novice, novitiate, perfect fool, postulant,
probationer, probationist, puddinghead, raw recruit, recruit,
rookie, schmuck, simpleton, softhead, sop, stupid, stupid ass,
tenderfoot, tomfool, tyro, unintelligentsia, zany

daily dose of w

I don't think anyone anticipated the breach of the levees.

GWB
1 Sept 2005
Interview with Diane Saywer on ABC.

A series of articles in the Times Picayune and senior Corps of Engineers staff indicate otherwise. Tracking the storm coming ashore the projected 18-22 foot storm surge and 20 foot levee gave me pause for thought...

W: Liar or ignoramus? Pick one. Oh, he "misspoke", huh.

Yeah, right.

I'm guessing 100% voted W

Will Lester writes on the AP wire:

In the poll by the Pew Research Center, 42 percent of those surveyed held strict ``creationist'' views that ``living things have existed in their present form since the beginning of time.'' Creationism generally refers to a literal reading of the Bible's story of the creation of man.

Almost half, 48 percent, said they believed humans have evolved over time. Some of those people, 26 percent of all those polled, said they believe evolution occurred through natural selection, and another 18 percent of all those polled, said evolution was guided by a supreme being.

Almost half? Why does Highway to Hell keep ringing in my ears?

daily dose of w

We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans.

GWB
6 Sep 2000
From a speech delivered in Scranton, Pennsylvania.

The reason I have absolutely no patience with W fanatics is that he says *exactly* what he means. Exactly. If you buy that crap, you're rich, idiotic, or delusional.

daily dose of w

That woman who knew I had dyslexia; I never interviewed her.

GWB
September 2000
The presidential candidate is referring to Gail Sheehy, who had written an article for Vanity Fair, proposing that Governor Bush suffered from dyslexia.

daily dose of w

We need to do what we need to do to get the bodies out of there, if they're there.

GWB
14 Feb 2001
Referring to the tragic sinking of a Japanese fishing boat by a U.S. submarine near Hawaii. Reported in the Chicago Tribune.

daily dose of w

It's evolutionary, going from governor to president, and this is a significant step, to be able to vote for yourself on the ballot, and I'll be able to do so next fall, I hope.

GWB
8 Mar 2000
Quoted by the Associated Press

Ticketmaster sucks

Tickemaster is the crappiest ripoff in the universe. Anyone who believes that there is anything even remotely approximating a free market in entertainment access facilitation is a crack-crazed fool.

Hey Ladies!

Want some neo-con lovin'? My girlfriend Maureen Dowd reports that neo-con Reuel Marc Gerecht popped this bon mot on Russert:

I mean, women's social rights are not critical to the evolution of democracy.

Just what is "the mission" again? I guess the boys in Marine Corps Green are over there catching bullets and IED shrapnel on behalf of some phat mullahs and ayatollahs with Iranian cash flowing from their pockets. This could be very good news for Hijabs R Us.

Neederlandereesh

The only way to see is to click through to http://www.crufts.nl. How did I find this? Google search for miso-cruft. No hits, but the dog show was a sponsor of the page.

daily dose of w

It's good to see so many friends here in the Rose Garden. This is our first event in this beautiful spot, and it's appropriate we talk about policy that will affect people's lives in a positive way in such a beautiful, beautiful park of our national --- really, our national park system, my guess is you would want to call it.

GWB
8 Feb 2001
Address to a gathering in the Rose Garden at the White House.

daily dose of w

I want to thank you for coming to the White House to give me an opportunity to urge you to work with these five senators and three congressmen, to work hard to get this trade promotion authority moving. The power that be, well most of the power that be, sits right here.

GWB
18 Jun 2001
Washington, D.C.

The Great Thing About Life

*IS* that you get to be with people who you cannot fit into your imagination.

Take, for instance, Celine.

She goes into any (and I mean *any*) situation, and people are inspired, uplifted, relieved.

I have to punt my MSan to where I am, because she's the only person other than me who gets what I'm saying (in that way).

PSan. George Foreman in his prime is not PSan in diapers, and ass whupery is something akin to cleaning terlits AFAPSIC. Albert Einstein is not PSan splattering himself and everyone around him with watermelon in the canoe house *on his best day*. PSan passes through this world, and people wonder "how do *I* get me some of *that*". (it's true) (it's so freakyly true that you can't even believe it (unless you've been there))

_SIS_

Sis is 'nuff said. With boot in appropriate places.

The *family* (got my eye on you Dumptruck!)

Life is a cascade of wonderful people.

JJ, Fran, Jools, ...

FT, DG, MB, ...

Bita, Moni in /Iraq/...

Dan, Kevin -- bearing the torch ...

Friends, neighbours, people in England who speel thinks "ou" (as do those hot French people) ...

(Make someone say "oui! oui! oui" (or something analgous) tonight!)

Zack, you shit head.

Do this for me. Write down your sentiment.

Write it down.

The one corresponding to this one.

Introspection builds souls.

More importantly, it let's people know how you feel, however clumsily you may do it.

not the first to say it but ...

Dilbert is a documentary, not a comic strip. And, for all the "liberal media" conspiracy types, it's casting in the best possible light.

daily dose of w

I don't want nations feeling like they can bully ourselves and our allies.

GWB
23 Oct 2000
Comment made in Des Moines, Iowa.

W's soooo bad-ass he can bully *himself*.

daily dose of w

It's your money. You paid for it.

GWB
18 Oct 2000
Comment made in La Crosse, Wisconsin.

It's your money, W. You inherited it. The American meritocracy hard at work.

daily dose of w

There is a lot of speculation and I guess there is going to continue to be a lot of speculation until the speculation ends.

GWB
18 Oct 1998
The Texas governor commenting on the possibility of his running for the presidency. Reported by the Austin American-Statesman.

Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment.

GWB
14 Jan 2001
Quoted in the New York Times.

daily dose of w

In terms of the CO2 issue ... We will not do anything that harms our economy, because, first things first, are the people who live in America.

GWB
circa February 2001

Better dead than poor!

UPDATE:

Got the following fortune cookie today:

First things first -- but not necessarily in that order.
-- The Doctor, "Doctor Who"

Must mean something, right?

daily dose of w

Education is not my top priority --- education is my top priority.

GWB
February 27, 2001
From a budget speech in Washington, D.C.

daily dose of w

As I said in my State of the Union address, liberty is not America's gift to the world. Liberty is God's gift to human -- to the human -- mankind.

GWB
26 Feb 2003
Washington, D.C.

daily dose of w

I've got a record, a record that is conservative and a record that is compassionated.

GWB
2 Mar 2000
As quoted by the New York Times.

daily dose of w

Of all the people in the world who understand Texas, it's probably Australians.

George W. Bush
22 Oct 2003
En route to Australia aboard Air Force One.

Texans, on the other hand...

Remember the date. That's a particularly good one to shower Celine with presents.

daily dose of w

The really rich people figure out how to dodge taxes anyway.

GWB
9 Aug 2004
Annandale, Virginia.

daily dose of w

A tax cut is really one of the anecdotes to coming out of an economic illness.

GWB
18 Sep 2000
Spoken while a guest on the CBS show "The Edge With Paula Zahn".

daily dose of w

Let me put it to you this way, I am not a revengeful person.

GWB
December 2000
From a Time magazine interview, published in the December 25, 2000 issue.

daily dose of w

This campaign not only hears the voices of the entrepreneurs and the farmers and the entrepreneurs, we hear the voices of those struggling to get ahead.

GWB
21 Aug 2000
From campaign stop in Des Moines, Iowa.

daily dose of w

Larry King: Vice President Gore said that: "If you lopped off the top 1% that you are giving tax relief ... you could pay for the cost of every other program."

Bush: "Oh, I don't -- you know, I hadn't -- I'm not so sure. I'm not quick in my mind at math, but I don't believe in trying to pick and choose winners when it comes to tax relief."

GWB
26 Sep 2000
Appearing on CNN's Larry King Live.

daily dose of w

I want to reduce our own nuclear capacities to the level commiserate with keeping the peace.

GWB
23 October 2000
Spoken in Des Moines, Iowa during campaign address.

daily dose of w

I think we're making progress. We understand where the power of this country lay. It lays in the hearts and souls of Americans. It must lay in our pocketbooks. It lays in the willingness for people to work hard. But as importantly, it lays in the fact that we've got citizens from all walks of life, all political parties, that are willing to say, I want to love my neighbor.

GWB
11 April 2001
From a speech at the Concord Middle School in Concord, North Carolina.

Read Ye Dan Froomkin

I shoulda put this update in its own post, but I didn't. What I will do, however is take this moment to direct you to Dan Froomkin and his White House Briefing. Due to the lamosity of the WP link scheme/page layout, they don't have a neat WHB place to go to, but you can go to the politics page and look for him. Here's a picture:

daily dose of w

Vice President mentioned Nigeria is a fledgling democracy. We have to work with Nigeria. That's an important continent.

GWB
11 October 2000
Presidential Debate in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

Let me start by telling you this: I have never used steroids. Period, I don't know how to say it any more clearly than that. Never.

Rafael Palmeiro (Under oath, in front of Congress)

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to explain to the arbitrator how the banned substance entered my body. The arbitrator did not find that I used a banned substance intentionally.

Rafael Palmeiro (After being busted for testing positive for 'roids)

I'm sure there's a nice slot for RP in the Bush Administration.

UPDATE:

Dag! Gotta love being quasi-prescient. W with some Texas print types:

Well, Rafael Palmeiro is a friend. He's testified in public, and I believe him. He's the kind of person that's going to stand up in front of the klieg lights and say he didn't use steroids, and I believe him. Still do. -- GWB 2 Aug 2005

Why does he do this? Because he thinks he's invincible! From the same gaggle-esque Bushfest:

Q: But power is perception.

W: Power is being the President.

Kudos to Dan Froomkin for the goods.

daily dose of w

There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead.

GWB
11 May 2001
Washington, D.C.

daily dose of w

Now, by the way, surplus means a little money left over, otherwise it wouldn't be called a surplus.

GWB
27 Oct 2000
From a campaign speech in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

I think W might have mastered pointed out the obvious even more than Thomas Friedman has.

daily dose of w

I understand small business growth. I was one.

GWB
19 Feb 2000
Quoted in the New York Daily News.

Sometimes, you've got to play the greatest hits. He was more of a small business tumor, afaict.

Liberal? Moi?

In some sense, I suppose, but I'm more of a progressive libertarian. Plus, my internal Sturm und Drang created by 40 S&W and 357 Sig dilemma punt me welll outside the liberal as understood by my The Nation reading compatriots. But I'm not hangin' with my man Pecuniarius. Not rich enough. And even with a quick 7 billion dollar infusion, I never will be.

Progressive: we need to, as a society, encourage entrepreneurship, independence, merit, hard-work, honesty, compassion.

Libertarian: get the fuck out, get the fuck out, get the fuck out of my personal affairs Pope John "Wrap the Boobies of Justice" Ashcroft Alberto "Me Torture You Long Time!" Gonzalez Republican "You Are Licking My Jackboots, Ja!" goatfuckers!
Please, go join the ACLU right now. Your card says "I love the Constitution, and I love America".

Guest Blogger: Pecuniarius Winchester Smith-Wesson, XXX

Your liberal host, Mr. Rantzilla, has afforded me the opportunity to lay out the fundamental correctness of mainstream Republican philosophy, to you, his presumably liberal audience. Here is how it works. Due to my stature and superiority and that of my peers, our wealth must not be diverted to mean and common things. The society in which we live have nothing to do with the benefits we accrue -- these are granted to us by God due to our righteousness. Thus we have "tax cuts." Taxes are an evil levied upon your superiors for your benefit, and the cutting of said taxes merely align the world with the proper Will of God.

You, of the underclass, have options before you. The best option to exercise is that of High and Noble birth. However, this is an option you refused to exercise, so you must now choose among lesser options. You may serve a better, and provided that you produce more than you are compensated, you will be well-regarded. You may go catch bullets, and, should you survive, we have many nice sidewalks in lesser towns where you may live. You may go to prison. These are your options.

These concepts come easily to a mind as quick and facile as mind, but lessers like you should take my word for it.

Pecuniarius Winchester Smith-Wesson, XXX

Don't Shoot Shoot Shoot That Thing At Me

No Sir. I don't like it. Don't write "Turd Blossom" in my comics page. My young 'un might see it.

No links for you.

No images either.

We have the youth of America to think about.

Just Another Lucinda Wednesday

By my reckoning, Lucinda Williams owes me somewhere in the neighborhood of 40 bucks.

Why?
Every time I go to see her play, it starts of well enough. She gets up, cracks some jokes about the heroin wearing off and it's time to switch to beer, ahhh what's that, beer's not cold, it's time to switch to whiskey... and starts to play and sing. She's great. Until. Until it happens. What is it? Hell if I know. Maybe the string didn't vibrate just the way she wanted it to, or she transposed some lyrics. Whatever it is, it starts a meltdown from which there is no return. She starts babbling about how awful she feels and begs for forgiveness, and does it with such gusto and duration that the apology becomes the show. And that's a show in which I have no interest. I'd have been happier if she had just come across with the cash.

So what does Lucinda "The Nuclear Option is the Only Option" Williams have to do with Wednesday? It's not Wednesday, but rather, this Wednesday in Atlanta. Atlanta traffic has a bewußtsein all it's own, but I think it's somehow related to Lucinda's. Everything is just dandy. Until. Until it happens, then it's Wonder Twins Activate! Form Of! Crazed Crack Addicted Rhesus Monkey with Flamethrower! The same fucker who stops traffic to let you in line coming out of the gas station is the same insane misanthrope who refuses to let go of either his tallywhacker or his cellphone, but would rather suffer the hell fire of eternal damnation than let you merge during rush hour. So, after leaving the office in a whistle while you work mood with big plans to knock out a few lingering chores, after near mortal (and I'm sorry you're not dead you line cutting, tire squealling, red light running motherfucker ROT IN HELL!) combat on the High Asphalt Seas of Atlanta, I'm left with rant as catharsis.

WHHHOOOOOOAAAAAAAHHHHHHHGHGHHGHaaghalgjlagj.a.........AAAAAGH!

daily dose of w

When I put my hand on the bible, I will swear to not -- to uphold the laws of the land.

GWB
27 Oct 2000
Toledo, Ohio

daily dose of w

I hope to get a sense of, should I be fortunate enough to be the president, how my administration will react to the Middle East.

George W. Bush
12 Oct 2000

daily dose of w

The administration is doing everything we can to end the stalemate in an efficient way. We're making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end.

GWB
10 Apr 2001
Washington, D.C.

Feed Ye Not The Grad Student

Every now an' then, I like to hit the Next Blog on a blogger hosted blog. Here's the payload from the latest click:
How are we supposed to entice the current crop of super-genii rolling out of undergraduate to assume the glorious mantle of scientist with an attitude like that?

Badi Assad

We've got 1996 BMW Audiophile Demonstration Disc lying around the house. One of names on the cover is Badi Assad. I thought that would be a great handle, and was seriously thinking about adopting it as an alias, or the name of some tough guy for a story. "Look out! He's Badi Assad! Of course, I was pronouncing it the way it's spelled in English. Badi prounounces her (yes her) name Bah-Jee Ah-Sahj. Anyway, Badi is funky, and the folks who by her albums from Amazon seem to love her. I'm sure she's old news to all you hipsters, but, as you know, I'm behind the times.

daily dose of w

I do remain confident in Linda [Chavez]. She'll make a fine labor secretary. From what I've read in the press accounts, she's perfectly qualified.

GWB
8 Jan 2001
Comment by the president-elect during a press conference.

Sooooooweeeee!

Here piggy piggy! Support our troops! War on Terra! Let's slip a cool 8 billion in for missile defense and call it "supporting the troops". Sure there's a few hundred million here for the USMC for armor, a hundred million there for the USA for armor. Good. They need it. Bring 'em home before they get it and themselves too scratched up. But missile defense? Ronald "Second Worst President In History" Reagan's legacy is still ripping us off.

I have a plan.

Dear Real Republicans,

I know real Republicans. Real Republicans love their country. Real Republicans are concerned about her future. Real Republicans don't think science is something that flies in the face of God, but rather is a blessing from God that reveals the miracles of creation. Real Republicans believe in fiscal discipline. Real Republicans distain pork-barrel politics. Real Republicans can't possibly want to be associated with the felons (just because they were pardoned doesn't mean that they were never convicted of high crimes) and vermin who are calling themselves Republicans and are now running the show. I know it's hard to look across the aisle and see anything that might inspire you. Well, stay on your side of the aisle. Just kick some of those pseudo-Republicans in the ass. If you don't want to do even that, please put a provision in your will that will allow me wrap your corpse in copper wire and put magnets in your casket so I can generate clean electricity from you spinning in your grave, because I guarantee, you will be.

Sincerely,

Rantzilla

Dr Aybabtu Tech Support

I was trying to help Dr Aybabtu with a link for eMac. He wanted something funny, so I suggested a google image search for "big pile o dookie". That turned up nada, so I thought to remove the "o". Still nothing. Can this really be the world wide dubya dubya dubya? Am I on the right internets?

GeekSpeak: Ask Dr Aybabtu

Dr Aybabtu,

I just upgraded my eMac to Tiger, and it was an astounding pain in the ass. It could have been really simple, but it was absolutely impossible to find out WTF to do from the Apple site?

Cranky in Cabbagetown.

Dear Crank,

Here's the deal. Steve Jobs thinks that all Mac users are complete idiots, and if they are confronted with anything more detailed than "ooweee purty iPod" they won't buy his "product". Let me guess, eMac: no DVD. Tiger upgrade: DVD. Got hold of a USB DVD drive, and everything seemed to "just work" until reboot time, eh? Then you spent two hours on google trying to find "hold the option button down on boot". Yup. Those little words could have saved you two hours of your life. Yup. Two hours you could have spent making sex videos with Playboy playmates or implementing a text-based Grand Theft Auto for emacs. But, no. Rather than reveal the hold the button secret, what does Apple suggest? Send us your DVD and ten bucks and we'll send you CDs. You chose to lie down with the Apple dogs, kid. Enjoy your fleas.

Dr Aybabtu

daily dose of w

Put the off button on.

GWB
14 February 2000
Advice to parents who have concerns about violence on television.

daily dose of w

Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods.

GWB
20 December 2000
Comment made in Austin, Texas.

That's gotta hurt!

When you type stupidest fucking guy on the face of the earth into google and your bio comes up, that's gotta hurt.

David Corn ...

... is the leaker.

Uh, no.

That would be Karl. His own lawyer said so.

DC didn't get Valerie's name on background, either.

If you're a real Republican -- one who believes in fiscal discipline, the Constitution, and personal accountability -- please think about what these pseudo-Republicans are doing in your name.

daily dose of w

I don't know, maybe I made it up. Anyway, it's an arbo-tree-ist, somebody who knows about trees.

GWB
August 2001
Referring to the "arbolist" who had been engaged to identify trees on the President's Crawford, TX ranch. Quoted in USA Today and Time magazine.

Cut him some slack. He just runs the chainsaw.

daily dose of w

We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease.

GWB
14 Jun1 2001
From comments made in Gothenburg, Sweden.

daily dose of w

I hope we get to the bottom of the answer. It's what I'm interested to know.

GWB
26 April 2000
The presidential candidate is referring to the Elian Gonzalez negotiations.

daily dose of w

The march to war hurt the economy. Laura reminded me a while ago that remember what was on the TV screens -- she calls me, 'George W.' -- 'George W.' I call her, 'First Lady.' No, anyway -- she said, we said, march to war on our TV screen.

GWB
11 March 2004
Bay Shore, New York.

I call him 'George WTF?'

daily dose of w

We need to do what we need to do to get the bodies out of there, if they're there.

GWB
14 Feb 2001
Referring to the tragic sinking of a Japanese fishing boat by a U.S. submarine near Hawaii. Reported in the Chicago Tribune.

daily dose of w

If a person doesn't have the capacity that we all want that person to have, I suspect hope is in the far distant future, if at all.

GWB
22 May 2001
From speech delivered to the Hispanic Scholarship Fund Institute.
Washington D.C.

daily dose of w

You subscribe politics to it. I subscribe freedom to it.

GWB
6 Apr 2000
Referring to the Elian Gonzalez negotiations in Miami, Florida. Reported by the Associated Press.

Judith Miller Speak!

Louis Klarevas lays out the case against Judith Miller in Jailing Judith Miller: Why the Media Shouldn't Be So Quick to Defend Her, And Why a Number of These Defenses Are Troubling.

daily dose of w

How do you know if you don't measure if you have a system that simply suckles kids through?

GWB
16 Feb 2000
Comment made in Beaufort, South Carolina.

daily dose of w

I do not believe we've put a guilty -- I mean innocent -- person to death in the state of Texas.

GWB
16 Jun 2000
From National Public Radio's "All Things Considered".

daily dose of w

There you are. You look just like yourself.

GWB
24 Feb 2003
Said upon seeing former OSU quarterback and ESPN analyst Kirk Herbstreit in person at the White House

daily dose of w

I'm trying to protect my invest -- my contributors from unscrupulous practices.

GWB
18 Jul 1998
Quoted in the Houston Chronicle.

daily dose of w

When I put my hand on the bible, I will swear to not --- to uphold the laws of the land.

GWB
27 Oct 2000
Toledo, Ohio

True to his word. Not this land or any other. Above and beyond the call, eh?

daily dose of w

I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well.

GWB
29 Jan 2001
Washington, D.C.

Hindsight is 50-50...

daily dose of w

It's hard to be a manufacturer in the state of Pennsylvania if you're worried about where your next energy is coming from.

GWB
15 Mar 2004
Ardmore, Pennsylvania.

Librarian Loots Library

I've heard tell of librarians that loot their own libraries. I'm glad the date line is France, and not some North Florida coastal town...

daily dose of w

By mentoring a child, you shape the character of a child. And it's a high calling in life, because that influence reaches to eternity.

GWB
29 Oct 2003
Dallas, Texas.

If foreign policy doesn't work out, I guess he and Michael Jackson can open a day care center.

daily dose of w

As governor of Texas, I have set high standards for our public schools, and I have met those standards.

GWB
30 Aug 2000
From the CNN Internet chat line.

daily dose of w

It's very important for folks to understand that when there's more trade there's more commerce.

GWB
21 April 2001
From comments made in Quebec City, Canada.

Who are you who are so wise in the ways of commerce?

Grrrr... wouldn't ya know it

I had a nice little bit of down time last PM and decided to sit down and rant my ass off. Had some great material and the @%#$! phone and DSL is out. Indefinitely.
The following is on the Whitehouse press release in which W says " With this resolution, Congress has now authorized the use of force. I have not ordered the use of force. I hope the use of force will not become necessary.":

No joke. Click it and see if I'm lying. I'm not, but I know someone who is...
OK. If he didn't order the use of force, why then did the UK and US start bombing Iraq some months before? Either he's lying, or there are rogue colluding folks in the UK and US military. Even though Rumsfeld has got cahones so huge he can't even sit down (why do you think he works standing at his desk?) I don't think even he'd start bombing people without the President's nod. And, for all you jack-booted pedants out there, this is not a Clintonesque parsing of words deal. If Rummy begs "Oh please, pretty please W let me bomb Iraq!" if W said "Okie dokie!", he did so by issuing an Executive order.

daily dose of w

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.

GWB
5 Aug 2004
Washington, D.C.

Instant classic. Good for a little milk out the nose.

daily dose of w

If the terriers and bariffs are torn down, this economy will grow.

GWB
7 Jan 2000
Spoken in Rochester, New York during presidential campaign.

From the net*:

Barrif: "Balding middle-aged bureaucrat who impedes free trade."

I could see W: Mr. Clinton, tear down this terrier!

I wonder how W's delusions of Reaganess (acually, he's been far more
destructive, so Reagan is a shadow of W) messes with Barbara B's
Reagan fantasies?

* You probably don't want to go to the site. It's a right-wing deal
with a flashing gif of a big bald man trying to impregnate a
sidewalk.

daily dose of w

We actually misnamed the war on terror, it ought to be the 'struggle against ideological extremists who do not believe in free societies who happen to use terror as a weapon to try to shake the conscience of the free world.'

GWB
5 Aug 2004
Washington, D.C.

That's pretty good, actually.

Luckiest Guy in the World

I don't know what y'all are doing this fine Friday night, but I've just uncurled from curling up with my SIGPLAN Notices and Revisiting an Automatic Program Inverter for Lisp by Glück and Kawabe.

daily dose of w

It is not Reaganesque to support a tax plan that is Clinton in nature.

GWB
23 Feb 2000
From comments made in Los Angeles and reported by Slate magazine.

It's also not Reaganesque to support expanding economies and balanced budgets that are Clinton(esque) in nature.

Does W have the Reagan nature? Promulgating war crimes and torture, lying to congress, keeping company with corrupt criminals while maintaining a smiling hypocritical veneer? Yes, W has the Reagan nature.

daily dose of w

Sometimes Churchill will talk back, sometimes he won't, depending upon the stress of the moment, but he is a constant reminder of what a great leader is like.

GWB
16 July 2001
The president's assessment of the late Winston Churchill after receiving a bust of the former British prime minister from Tony Blair.

Is this one of those "ya had to be there" moments?

daily dose of w

Well, it's an unimaginable honor to be the president during the Fourth of July of this country. It means what these words say, for starters. The great inalienable rights of our country. We're blessed with such values in America. And I -- it's -- I'm a proud man to be the nation based upon such wonderful values."

GWB
2 July 2001
Spoken during a visit to the Jefferson Memorial in Washington, D.C.

It's as if Lee Greenwood died, went to Hell, turned into a demon and returned to Earth as President of the United States. Satan hates English, and with the ascendency of his spawn, all I can say is "Mission Accomplished!"

daily dose of w

Our nation must come together to unite.

GWB
4 Jun 2001
Remark made in Tampa, Florida.

daily dose of w

Mr. Vice President, in all due respect, it is -- I'm not sure 80% of the
people get the death tax. I know this: 100% will get it if I'm the president.

GWB
17 Oct 2000
From Presidential Debate in St. Louis, Missouri.

In music, I'm decades back.

Continually.

When I was a kid, I was into Pete Seeger, kids of fellow kiddomship were rocking out to Peter prompted. People used to rock out to Frampton. Do you feel... Me: David "I'm a hermaphrodite alien mullet sportier! (check the pictures, Iman, it's true)" Bowie. You: Def "Look Ma! Two arms!" Lepard (Is that how it's spelled?). Me: Gang of Four. You: Christina Augararaia (Is that how it's spelled?).

In movies, I'm decades back.

Confession: I started out with a premise, but science blew it away. I figured that I was always trailing a certain number of decades back that slid in a fixed window through time with me, but it's not true. But can't stop now.

Celine and I just caught a couple of blockbusters: The French Connection and The Godfather II.

Yup. Right on top of things, culturally speaking.

I liked The French Connection, although I would have done the opening title stuff differently in any era. If that's all I'm bitching about, it must be a pretty good movie, right? Right. It was. It's on my see again list putting it for a subsequent viewing in 2032.

The Godfather II was great. A sequel that could stand alone, and whoop many comers.

Except its old man.

I understand there are a couple of competing camps. Although de Niro is a primal force of acting ass booterie, and, although I thought that Brando and Pacino underachieved in TGF, TGF edges out its progeny, IMHO. The reasons why are ENG101 (JJJ, pinhut feel free to straighten me out with your erutditeness): the development of Michael Corleone. TGF: "fuck this mafia stuff" -> "family in trouble" -> "off with his head". TGFII: "I'll kill you (or fuck you up in the trying)" -> "I'll kill you (or fuck you up in the trying)" -> "I killed you". de Niro was good, but, having seen TGF you knew he was going to blimp up into Brando. When the don killed his mama, you knew that was his ass... and it was.

Even the pivotal scenes didn't match up. de Niro taking out the fat man in the white suit? Gun shot to the mouth was a nice touch. Didn't match the revenge scene in The Princess Bride, much less the story leading up to and including the climax at the restaurant in TGF.

Yeah...

TGF by three lengths.

Love and schmoooches!

daily dose of w

I think there is some methodology in my travels.

GWB
5 Mar 2001
Speaking to the press in Washington, D.C.

daily dose of w

Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better.

GWB
24 Sep 2001
In press conference with Canadian PM

daily dose of w

Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment.

GWB
14 Jan 2001
Quoted in the New York Times.

No peace for you!

daily dose of w

I quit drinking in 1986 and haven't had a drop since then. And it wasn't because of a government program, by the way -- in my particular case -- because I had a higher call.

GWB
3 Nov 2000
Reported by CNN. Comment made in West Allis, Wisconsin.

The Squeeze on Miller and Cooper

Why are Miller and Cooper getting threatened with time when it was Novak what who did the spilling of the beans? Precisely because it was Novak what who spillt the beans.

Huh?

I had to throw in the why part. Read what John Dean has to say and let me know what you conclude.

daily dose of w

I want to thank you for coming to the White House to give me an opportunity to urge you to work with these five senators and three congressmen, to work hard to get this trade promotion authority moving. The power that be, well most of the power that be, sits right here.

GWB
18 Jun 2001
Washington, D.C.

All power, all the time.

daily dose of w

One of these days, this little lady right here is going to be driving an automobile with a hybrid engine in it, and a fuel cell in it. And it's going to work. And I hope I'm around to see it, too.

GWB
25 Feb 2002
Forgetting that hybrid cars already exist.

daily dose of w

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.

GWB
21 Feb 2001
From a speech delivered in Townsend, Tennessee. Reported by The New Republic
(March 5, 2001 issue).

daily dose of w

I think he needs to stand up and say if he thought the president were wrong on policy and issues, he ought to say where.

GWB
11 Aug 2000
Referring to Al Gore and Bill Clinton. From an interview with the Associated Press.

Dicks' Dander Raised By Amnesty Int'l Allegations

Dicks Cheney and Myers are outraged by Amnesty International's allegations. Cheney:

Frankly, I was offended by it. For Amnesty International to suggest that somehow the United States is a violator of human rights, I frankly just don't take them seriously.

Ooooh that's damning coming from Mr Secret Energy Policy Scammer Meet With My Pirate Friends Like Ken Lay Boy Cheney. Um... what about the unprovoked invasion of a sovereign country that posed no threat to the US? Myers:

Absolutely irresponsible.

Well, if there is anyone who would recognize "absolute irresponsibility" it would be Don Rumsfeld's partner of stage and screen Dick Myers. Source: The Guardian's AP feed.

How to Design Software

This sounds about right:

Not surprisingly, the scientist took a unique approach to designing Mathematica. First, he tried to map out how the manual would read. If you can't say it in the manual, you won't be able to do it in the program," Wolfram said. As he wrote, he churned out code, often at the phenomenal pace of a thousand lines a day, working until his usual 6 a.m.

Unfortunately, this is completely backward from the way most people think when it comes to software. Especially if they don't write any themselves. Read more.

Newsweek v W

It's better to be a rapist of quadruplegic hamsters than an honest, dedicated, hardworking member of the Fourth Estate here in the US these days. Turns out that your trusted source is fuzzy about the title of the document that he read -- but not its content -- you're a traitorous unprofessional ferret-felching son of a Yak shaver. If you actually set in motion a torture program that includes rape, sodomy, murder, posthumous mutilation, extortion, and -- sit down for the bonecrusher -- mistreatment of religious books, well, you get elected president. W W uber alles.

Oh right... tax cuts with out fiscal discipline. That's the ticket. Sorry. My bad.

Bloggy Mama

Here's a little shout out to all my Bloggy Mama and Bloggy Popz in da hood. Holy hellfire scheiss it's been cascading piles of shit that needs doing yesterday lately, and it's only looking to accelerate... The scary thing is that even if I work 18 hours a day, there are a hundred million other playaz out there who are smarter, better looking, and masters of gung fu who are going to see my 18 and bump -- and keep posting stuff to their immaculate blog with good grammar, spelling, and style.

daily dose of w

Will the highways on the Internet become more few?

GWB
29 Jan 2000
Question asked by the candidate in Concord, New Hampshire and reported in Slate magazine.

daily dose of w

On election night we won. And then there was a recount, and we won. And then there was a selected recount as a result of different legal maneuverings, and we won that. And I believe one of these days, that all this is going to stop, and Dick Cheney and I will be the president and the vice president.

GWB
30 Nov 2000
Comment made during a campaign press conference.

Says what he means, no?

daily dose of w

There is madmen in the world, and there are terror.

GWB
14 Feb 2000
Comment reported by the Associated Press.

Bad grammar at home, bad behavior abroad. Bad, bad man.

daily dose of w

The explorationists are willing to only move equipment during the winter, which means they'll be on ice roads, and remove the equipment as the ice begins to melt, so that the fragile tundra is protected.

GWB
18 May 2001
From a speech made in Conestoga, Pennsylvania.

daily dose of w

I appreciate [Florida Governor] Jeb [Bush] -- talk about swamping somebody, he knows the definition of 'swamp' when it comes to political campaigns.

GWB
30 Jun 2003
Tampa, Florida.

daily dose of w

This case has had a full analyzation and has been looked at a lot. I understand the emotionality of death penalty cases.

GWB
23 Jun 2000
Quoted in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer.

daily dose of w

I'm also honored to be here with the Speaker of the House --- just happens to be from the state of Illinois. I'd like to describe the speaker as a trustworthy man. He's the kind of fellow who says when he gives you his word he means it. Sometimes that doesn't happen all the time in the political process.

GWB
6 Mar 2001
Speaking in Chicago, Illinois.

daily dose of w

DUBYA: So what state is Wales in?
CHURCH: Its a separate country next to England.
DUBYA: Oh, okay.

GWB
30 Oct 2001
Exchange between Dubya and Welsh teenage singing sensation Charlotte Church, as reported in MSNBC

daily dose of w

My education message will resignate amonst all parents.

GWB
19 Jan 2000
Quoted in the New York Post.

daily dose of w

This case has had a full analyzation and has been looked at a lot. I understand the emotionality of death penalty cases.

GWB
23 Jun 2000
Quoted in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer.

daily dose of w

I've got a record, a record that is conservative and a record that is compassionated.

GWB
2 Mar 2000
As quoted by the New York Times.

Get Out There and Start a Startup

Paul Graham has posted another thought-provoking piece called Hiring is Obsolete. There's a couple of points that are either lacking some context, or are just wrong, IMHO, but the overall message is compelling.

daily dose of w

One word sums up probably the responsibility of any governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.

GWB
7 Dec 1993

Word.

daily dose of w

We must have the attitude that every child in America, regardless of where they're raised or how they're born, can learn.

GWB
18 Apr 2001
From a speech delivered in New Britain, Connecticut.

daily dose of w

I made the decision to name the Justice Department building after Robert Kennedy because he's deservant.

GWB
20 Nov 2001
Speaking to reporters in the Oval Office about his decision to name the Justice Dept. building after former U.S. Attorney General, Robert Kennedy.
Aired on CNN.

No Church-State Separation Then No Tax Exemption

This is a special edition of Face to the World. Winning large is Waynesville NC with Democrats Voted Out of Baptist Church. Now, running the Dems through a spanking machine is one thing, but condemning them to Hell for voting for Kerry is quite another. At least Waynesville has the noble Doris Wilson to ride to the rescue:

Doris Wilson, one of [Go-to-hell-you-Kerry-votin'-Dems declarin' Preacher] Chandler's neighbors and a member of First Baptist Church in Waynesville, said God doesn't play partisan politics.

"I hate to see the church suffer like that," she said. "God doesn't care whether you're a Republican or a Democrat. It just hurts to see that going on."

Funny how so many professional Christians aren't very Christlike. Wonder where he stands on judging others and the death penalty.

daily dose of w

They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program.

GWB
2 Nov 2000
The presidential candidate speaking in St. Charles, Missouri. Reported by USA Today. (Note: Social Security _is_ a federal program.)

I Thought Cinco de Mayo's on Tuesday

Buenos Tardes, Amigo. Greatest band in any space-time continuum.

daily dose of w

I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.

GWB
27 Jan 2000
During a campaign speech in Nashua, New Hampshire.

I know that you've heard it before, but I bet it still makes you smile!

daily dose of w

We will "use our technology to enhance uncertainties abroad."

GWB
6 Mar 2000
The president was referring to foreign threats, including terrorism. Quoted in the New York Times.

daily dose of w

I am a person who recognizes the fallacy of humans.

GWB
19 Sep 2000
Comment made on TV talk show, Oprah.

Morning Fortune Cookie

Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunch to back it up!

Harlan Ellison, according to my morning fortune cookie.

daily dose of w

Russia is no longer our enemy, and therefore we shouldn't be locked into a Cold War mentality that says we keep the peace by blowing each other up. In my attitude, that's old, that's tired, that's stale.

GWB
8 Jun 2001
From speech in Des Moines, Iowa.

Eternal Souls! Get Your Eternal Souls Here!

Sistopher comes through with the ebay auction The eternal soul of two teenagers. Only three days left, so I'll post the contract in its entirety for posterity:

You are bidding on the soul of two teenagers. Randy Sokoloff, 18, and a Caitlynn Chaplain, 17. These people have signed a formal agreement, and have been paid the ammount negociated for their souls. The contract has been notorized, and it reads:

By signing this written contract the selling party agrees to give up all previous rights of the eternal soul. This transfer is to be done at a price negociated by the two parties involved. If this soul wishes to be transferred to a later third party it may.

seller is the lawful owner of the soul, and the goods are free from all encumberances. Seller has good right to sell the goods and will warrant and defend the right against the lawful claims and demands of all persons. This holds true until the selling party signs below.

By signing this agreement this is to take effect immediately, and contract is irrefutable. It may also never be given back to the orginal selling party. If this contract is destroyed this would inturn mean the eternal soul is destroyed, and consequences beyond that are unkown and in the hands of god.

I will send pictures to those of you who are interested. g.michalowski@gmail.com Also the winning bidder will receive two wallet sized photos of the teens who's souls have been purchased.

Current bid is $116.66. Nice touch.

d r i f t g l a s s

d r i f t g l a s s knows ranting. PBS hooked me up with this one. Holy hellfire shit, he's got some good ones. E.g., The Further Adventures of Captain Obvious. Or You sure got a purdy blog.

Soulfish Stew

Soulfish Stew Don't ax, but the author is a 38 year-old sagittarius black flag fan. BTW: Blog This!

NASA Feed and Blog This! First Post

WTF? You never know what happens when you click on the next blog icon...
NASA Feed. For real? Einstein a space alien? What is this? WWN with science stuff?

Getting Things Done Anarchist Style

Benjie sent me this, a little something he found on his internet ramblings:
Time Management for Anarchists: The Movie. Even if you're not an anarchist, you'll probably want to play along. It's great, especially if you've got an extensive to-do list knocking about your head.

daily dose of w

I have "ruled out no new Social Security taxes."

GWB
1 Oct 2000
He was thought to mean that new Social Security taxes were ruled out.
Reported by the Washington Post.

The Saddam and Social Security demons have been plaguing W for a while now.

Face to the World

Alexandria, MN, one time with Short shrift for student in kilt. I mean, WTF? Now, I have to confess the article has one of the best ledes that I've read in a while:

A US teenager was banned from a high school prom parade for wearing a kilt.

Pretty much says it all. If I were to have written it, I probably would have done it like this:

Nutjob extremist assholes banned 17 year old Eric Schulzentenberg from his high school prom parade in Alexandria, Minnesota for sporting a Clan Mitchell tartan kilt worn in honor of his great grandmother.

I don't know which one he had on, but I'm sure he looked good sporting his kilt.

daily dose of w

Putting Education First.

George W. Bush's Presidential Campaign website
July 2000
The presidential candidate's web site gave a priority ranking to important issues of concern to the governor. "Putting Education First" was ranked No. 3 on the list.

Putting Education Third just doesn't have the same ring, I agree.

Copyright Brain Dump

I've had this link marked to make a post, but in the run run run, I've been blog-slack. Copyrights have gotten completely out of control, and much of the public has no idea about the ramifications. Nice summary by James Boyle in Financial Times titled Deconstructing stupidity.

daily dose of w

People make suggestions on what to say all the time. I'll give you an example. I don't read what's handed to me. People say, 'Here, here's your speech,' or 'Here's an idea for a speech.' They're changed. Trust me.

GWB
15 Mar 2000
Quoted in the New York Times.

No, really, we believe you!

Not Dead, Yet!

But very busy. Look to be busy for the next little while. Hope to have some exciting news to share very soon.

daily dose of w

Listen, Al Gore is a very tough opponent. He is the incumbent. He represents the incumbency. And a challenger is somebody who generally comes from the pack and wins, if you're going to win. And that's where I'm coming from.

GWB
7 Sep 2000
From comments made in Detroit, Michigan.

daily dose of w

America is not ready to overturn Roe v. Wade because America's hearts are not right.

GWB
10 Mar 1999

daily dose of w

The reason we start a war is to fight a war, win a war, thereby causing no more war.

GWB
3 Oct 2000
Boston, Massachusetts. First Presidential Debate.

daily dose of w

I've changed my style somewhat, as you know. I'm less, I pontificate less, although it may be hard to tell it from this show. And I'm more interacting with people.

GWB
13 Feb 2000
From NBC's Meet The Press.

daily dose of w

A tax cut is really one of the anecdotes to coming out of an economic illness.

GWB
18 Sep 2000
Spoken while a guest on the CBS show "The Edge With Paula Zahn".

daily dose of w

The person who runs FEMA [Federal Emergency Management Agency] is someone who must have the trust of the president because the person who runs FEMA really is the first voice oftentimes that someone whose lives have been turned upside down hears from.

GWB
4 Jan 2001
Comment made at press conference.

daily dose of w

Home is important. It's important to have a home.

GWB
18 Feb 2001
Comment made by the President in Crawford, Texas.

Axis of Weevils

Morning Guardian scan turned up Axis of weevils cast from the mould. From the article:

They are synonymous with American power, conservatism and the projection of military might.

Now the names of Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld have gained a second, somewhat less formidable connotation: two scientists have named a species of beetle after America's paramount triumvirate.

Quentin Wheeler and Kelly Miller, who had the task of naming 65 newly discovered species of slime-mould beetles, settled on Agathidium bushi, Agathidium cheneyi, and Agathidium rumsfeldi as names for three of them.

daily dose of w

I would have said yes to abortion if only it was right. I mean, yeah it's right. Well, no it's not right -- that's why I said no to it.

GWB
14 Feb 2000
Speaking in South Carolina.

Driving Tips

On the way to work today, I almost got wiped out by a man talking on a cell phone coming through a red light. It wasn't one of those run it at the last minute things -- three cars had already gone through the intersection ahead of me looking at a bright shiny green light. Here's the deal -- if you wouldn't do it during sex, don't do it while driving. No phone, no reading, no eating stuff with a utensil.

daily dose of w

Everybody who pays taxes is going to get tax relief. If you take care of an elderly in your home, you're going to get the personal exemption increased.

GWB
17 Oct 2000
In answer to a question about his tax plan at the third presidential debate.

Face to the World

Mac Mozilla went belly up on me right in the middle of a long-overdue "Face to the World" post. Topic: Wis. Governor Rejects Cat-Hunting Idea . Twist: props to WI and Governor Jim "Not in my House!" Doyle. Weird g shit: comparison of 460 Weatherby and the 224 Clark. I tend to blame apple on this one, because the mouse cursor started doing a psychedelic spinny thing and I couldn't do anything except move it around. No menu, no dock, no finder, no nothing. If anyone out there thinks that macs are worth a good goddamn, please let me know by sending me a tiger cd when it comes out. Maybe that will make the mac experience somewhat less miserable.

daily dose of w

You saw the president yesterday. I thought he was very forward-leaning, as they say in diplomatic nuanced circles.

GWB
23 Jul 2001
Referring to his meeting with President Vladimir Putin of Russia.

Make Something People Want

Paul Graham has cranked out another essay, titled Why Smart People Have Bad Ideas that contains some wisdom for thems that would like to make money with a business. Any business. But let me start from the end. He finishes the essay with a slogan he'd like to put on a TShirt:

Make Something People Want

Seems to be a good starting or finishing point. He throws in some poker wisdom, even though he may not recognize it as it as such. In business, you have

to realize that having invested time in something doesn't make it good.

In poker, you have to learn that once your money goes into the pot, it's no longer yours, and make your decisions accordingly. Read the rest of the essay. I promise, he spent more than 67 minutes on this one.

daily dose of w

There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead.

GWB
11 May 2001
Washington, D.C.

Bible Scholarship

It probably comes as a big surprise to some to find that I occasionally read the Bible. Yes, it's true. Mainly, it's when someone claims that a the invasion of Israel by tanks from the North is described in Ezekiel 38 (no shit, they actually claimed that), I like to check it out. Also, I like to check different translations to boot. So, the good folks at Blue Letter Bible have hooked me up. You can change translations quickly and easily. I wish they had the JPS translation, too.

Rapture Update

The Rapture Index is up a couple of points to 155 on the high price of oil and conflicting indicators in the "15 Moral Standards" sector. On the one hand, we have[*]:

Gay marry supporters lose every major political vote.

On the other we have:

The scourge of gay marriage upgrades this category.

I wonder if gay marriage says "Arrggh!" when it knocks down your door.

Some food for thought from Rapture Categories Explained:

34. The Antichrist
(Dan.11:36-39) The most evil and destructive man who will ever hold public office.

Damnit if that doesn't have an eerie ring of familiarity to it. Also

39. Civil Rights
To have a dictator you must have a shortage of this. The time you least expect your loosing your freedom is when you willingly give it up.

I would have thought that old-school conservatives would have been the last to give it up, but they've folded for mythical fiscal policy and fear of a gay planet.

* All quotes are cut and pasted. Check the site if you don't believe me.

Down goes DeLay?

I don't think so. Not just yet. MSM cannot wean itself from the teat of access. But the 'Pubs are getting less jiggy about their hypocrisy. Couple of quotes from the Houston Chronicle article Republican calls for DeLay to step down:

I have no comment on anything.

That was Michael Castle, Republican representative from Delaware. Wow, your vote really got you something there with Mr Castle, didn't it? I wonder if Rick "Rick" Santorum, Republican from PA, can help us out with an insight?

Now you may not like some of the things he's done. That's for the people of his district to decide, whether they want to approve that kind of behavior.

Way to take a stand, Rick. I can completely understand old-school conservatism and there is nothing wrong with being a Republican, if you say what you mean and mean what you say and stay the hell away from my Constitution and the Judiciary and come up with the money to pay for your harebrained schemes. Isn't there anyone the GOP with a backbone? Oh yes, there is! From one of those Yankee States, no less. You know -- Yankee State -- one that pays the taxes for the pork barrel gravy train states in the South and the West? CT has their self one Christopher Shays. What's on Mr Shays' mind?

He is an absolute embarrassment to me and to the Republican Party.

THWAP! 99 mph fastball right over the plate and into the catcher's mitt. I absolutely love that sound.

daily dose of w

I'm pretty good about asking myself the own question, then answering it, see?

GWB
31 May 2000
Answering a question posed by Chris Matthews on MSNBC's Hardball.

Alles klar, Commissar!

NBA: No Basketball Allowed

Atlanta is home to the hapless Hawks. Fortunately for the owner, the game part is largely irrelevant. I had suspected this for a while, but Ken Sugiura's article in today's AJC piled on quite nicely. The gist of the article is that, rather than put together a team that wins, you can just give away tickets to celebs and people will pay to gawk at them. This assertion seems to be backed up by Bernie Mullin, Hawks parent company's president and CEO. Bernie is good for a few quotes. What's Bernie hawkin'? It's not basketball.

We don't sell wins and losses.

What do you sell, Mr Mullin?

We sell NBA entertainment.

Ah. What is this "NBA entertainment"?

We really feel that when movie stars and the cutting-edge industry artists like Usher and Ludacris and OutKast and Bow Wow and all those guys are here, we feel it makes a statement about our product and our brand.

If you're a celeb, you can get four free tickets to Hawks home games. Go and have a good time -- you'll be well taken care of. Don't take my word for it though, take Big Boi's (remember Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik?):

On the floor, everything's taken care of.

Well, almost everything. I'll let Ken tell the story:

Boxer Evander Hollyfield once wanted a Chick-fil-A sandwich, but since there is no kiosk in Philips and food can't be brought in, he had to settle for a burger at the Bank of America Club.

Poor Evander. Maybe Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik will cheer him up.

Learn a New Language?

How 'bout Lisp? It's fun!

Functions cubed

As I've mentioned, I've been looking at different coding standards (props to Christopher Lott on his nice collection). After a reading a couple, you come to appreciate the competing philosophies at work. In fact, much of buying into a code style is buying into a philosophy. Code styles range from a simple list of rules to manifestos. One I thought got things off to a start with a bang was Programming Style for Foundations of Computer Science:

FUNCTIONS, FUNCTIONS, FUNCTIONS!!!

You must decompose your programs into smaller parts. One function won't cut it. This is one of the most common pitfalls of novice programmers. As a general rule of thumb, no function should consist of more than 20 lines of code. Yes, it's arbitrary, but think of it as a learning exercise; by having to fit within such constraints, you will come to appreciate what modular coding does for you, and when it is right to use bigger functions.

The decomposition process does not occur at the very end. Some students bring code, promising that they'll split it into smaller functions, "when they're done". That's not the point--you don't do this just to make the program look pretty. You want to decompose the problem (and your solution, i.e. the program) starting at the design phase. By forcing yourself to design modularly (i.e., use functions) from the beginning, your program will go together faster, be easier to debug and easier to read. Think Legos© and Tinker-toys©: lots of small pieces, each easy to comprehend and debug. Plug them together and you can get great stuff!

As you write code, if you find a function becoming too large (too many variables, etc.), it's probably time to split the function into smaller parts.

For "toy" programming assignments like most of those of this course, you can get away with poor design technique (like not thinking modularly). But, believe me, you will fall down, *hard*, when you get to bigger programs.

More philosophy: Rob Pike's Notes on Programming in C. Automated Linux from scratch's folding Linus's Linux kernel style guide into theirs. Don't forget to revel in the glory of Microsoft's Hungarian Notation for VB. And, the most ideological of all: GNU. What does Linus think of GNU's coding standards?

First off, I'd suggest printing out a copy of the GNU coding standards, and NOT read it. Burn them, it's a great symbolic gesture.

Everyone has got an opinion once they wade in.

daily dose of w

It was just inebriating what Midland [Oil Company] was all about then.

GWB
Comment made in a 1994 interview. Quoted in First Son, by Bill Minutaglio

I bet it was.