I'm sure you've heard all about Buster Bunny's Woes. I just thought of the headline, and mused ... nope, I'm not making this up. The next bit, I am making up.
Lesbiticus 5:14
And the Lord looked down upon the Green State and said "LESBIANS!" Satan spoke: "Lord, there! Is that Bunny approaching the Lesbian Farm not your Servant Buster?" The Lord thundered: "That Bunny approaching the Lesbian Farm is indeed my Servant Buster. Surely he will beat a hasty retreat in the face of such Sodomite debauchery." Satan, cowed, meekly offered: "Uh, Lord, your track record on such predictions is shaky. I mean, Eve, Adam, Saul, and, don't forget the David and the Uriah-Bathsheeba debacle." The Lord responded: "JOB!" Satan: "True. Job pulled it out, but that's only because you bribed him, not that there's anything wrong with that. You are, after all, the Omnipotent Creator of Everything." The Lord: "Damn straight, and don't you forget it. Back to Buster, behold."
5:15 The Lord said "This verse will be forever reserved for a rockin' tune by The Who. Rock out in memory of Me. Satan was wise enough not to point out that The Holy Guitarist was going to be gay.
5:16 Buster did sit with the Lesbians and Children next to a great pit. Within the pit, was there fire, and the fire, it did consume the fuel in the pit. The fire, consuming the fuel, did radiate heat and light, and illuminate the Lesbians, the Children, and the Lord's Bunny Servant Buster. A photographer a graven image with photons did make, recording the Lesbians, the Children, and the Lord's Bunny Servant Buster together in fellowship and joy.
5:17 The Lord looked down upon the Lesbians, and considered smiting, but thought better of it. He knew that he was going to institute a don't ask don't tell policy with some future saints and angels, and didn't want to taint the labor relations like the Sacking of Sodom and Gomorrah had done. So he looked to his Bunny Servant Buster, he who did make the Lord (once again) eat his words in front of his uppity subordinate Satan, and did speak: Buster, though no money was riding on this bet (Thank Me!), you did in the eyes of my subordinate Satan Me bad look make, and this is something I prefer not happen to. A pox on you and all your Bunny descendants. Man, Straight and Gay, Women, Straight and Lesbian, and Children of all types will dine upon their flesh, and sic dogs after your children, and with the fur and skin that surrounds the flesh and blood Man will make bad coats and hats that no amount of Good Taste or PETA protests can stop.
5:18 With the issuance of The Curse, The Lord did his attention turn to other things. Satan went down to The Lord's Former Bunny Servant Buster and did speak: "Tough break, Bunny, but listen up. There is this festival that The Lord's followers put on every spring. Here put on this outfit, take this basket of eggs, and I'll tell you about it as we walk."
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